One love

I don't generally think that men are needed. Women have become very independant within the past 2 decades. I know that there are some who still like to have their man do everything for them, however.


You don't like being around loud self-centered people? ...In theory I wouldn't want to be either but in practice I find them inspirational. I ignore their self-centeredness and focus on their 'loudness'.

are most of your friends like this? i know it isn't fair to put them all in a bag...one of my friends is eccentric and sort of flamboyant but still she has been a good, caring friend. i've met too many people who just want you to be their audience. and it's not like i hate them outfront, all i can say is that i feel kind of exhausted after having been around them.

No, the only person I know who thinks the way I do is my brother. My friends are all just your typical 'guy' really: They go to school, go to college, get a job, and in-between all that they drink alcohol to excess. Their view on women is that they are people that they cannot understand and are a nuisance to get to know. They view getting to know them as a chore, or as a way to sexual-intercourse.


I hate that in guys so much. On the bus home from college last Friday I heard a group of guys talking about how they are going to get with lots of final year schoolgirls when they visit our college on its Open-Day. At that moment I felt ashamed to be a guy.


If you haven't guessed it already, most of my friends are female.


In what way do you feel exhausted around a person who likes to talk about themselves?

Why is it that girls always go for the bad boy? I don't get it. Is it the sense of excitement..why don't girls just go for the good guys.They can offer so much more.Are girls so afraid of getting bored?

They view getting to know them as a chore, or as a way to sexual-intercourse.

That is so right. Most men these days don't want to get to know a woman and her body. I was seeing this guy for 3 years and he didn't know how to make me climax..all he cared was about himself and whether he 'came' or not. I didn't care cause I was blinded by the love I had for the guy. I put up with it. Most girls know what they like and would show their boyfriends how to do it if they needed help. But this guy didn't want to know. It was like he didn't have the time to be shown or to figure it out for himself. I thought I would be with this guy forever.

we change

my first love at 19, I was so full of hope, he said I was like a faithful puppydog, I'm embarrassed to say, but yes when you get hurt you lose something

But again if you stay with your first young love

you have to hope you evolve and grow in the same way and continue to be suitable for each other

have you seen American Beauty ?

*Raises Hand*, Yes I have seen American beauty and inspires me. Spacey's character in it fights against the crap in his life and finds contentment (or so it appeared).


Prettygreeneyes, I know too many males who are like the one that you described. I think that the younger generations are more open to things. I am 22 but I have seen signs in younger guys that they are more open to things. So, perhaps they would be open to knowing how their partners 'work'.

Chucky wrote:I hate that in guys so much. On the bus home from college last Friday I heard a group of guys talking about how they are going to get with lots of final year schoolgirls when they visit our college on its Open-Day. At that moment I felt ashamed to be a guy.

In what way do you feel exhausted around a person who likes to talk about themselves?

you know girls do this too, i was on the escalator in some shopping center and these girls behind me were making comments about some guy further down as if he was a piece of delicious meat. that sort of behavior has always intimidated me when i was a teenager. but i think there is nothing more behind it than group dynamics.


the more i think about it the more i don't really know what the problem is with me..... i certainly don't mind listening to my friends if they have problems for instance, i just don't like loud people volume wise...

and i do need men to move heavy stuff, assemble book shelves for me, fix my computer and catch spiders...hehe

funny, i always had an easier time making friends with guys...since you say most of your friends are girls, do you have any sisters?

HeHe! I would catch a spider for you any day - I love them so much. If I see one on the floor at home I pick it up gently and place it outside. It's the same for any type of insect/bug.

the more i think about it the more i don't really know what the problem is with me..... i certainly don't mind listening to my friends if they have problems for instance, i just don't like loud people volume wise...

Pehaps that is a problem in itself - Thinking too much, trying to find out what is wrong with yourself. Be careful doing that because you don't want to start fabricating illnesses in yourself.


Why do you have more male friends than female?


I don't have any sisters, just three older brothers who, as of of yesterday, all live away from home. I sometimes wish that I had an older sister because basically I was never around girls until I began college. I was too shy throughout all of my schooling days to talk to anyone. Guys were difficult to talk to but girls were impossible. It was like they were alien to me! What made it worse was the fact that during my puberty years and from then on I was in single-sex schools. Basically the only female that I knew in my life was my mother, and I love her dearly.

Chucky wrote:HeHe! I would catch a spider for you any day - I love them so much. If I see one on the floor at home I pick it up gently and place it outside. It's the same for any type of insect/bug.

Likewise! Ever since I was about 8yo, and my babysitter at the time picked up a spider by the web and put it outside the car, (when we stopped!) I haven't seen the need to destroy bugs. They have just as much right to be here as we do. Oh, except mosquitoes. They are the only living creatures I know of that deserve to be squashed! Grrr!

Nadine, darl! It's so nice to have men around to do things, but we are just as capable. What would happen if you had kids who were screaming for you to get rid of a spider, and your husband was at work? (That's how my mother found her inner courage! )

As to having friends of the opposite sex, I'm with you guys all the way. I find it so much easier to get along with guys. They're always doing things and having fun, whereas girls seem to just want to gossip and bitch about anyone they can. (The only annoying thing is that whenever two people of the opposite sex hang out, people always think there's something more going on than 'just friends' It can be SO frustrating!)

I find it weird, though, that a guy would prefer hanging around females more than males, Chuck. Especially if you'd been in a boy's school and had no sisters.

Oh...hang on, you said you found it harder in your younger years to talk to girls than you did boys. What's changed? Have you just become sick of the way men act/talk?

By the way guys...sorry I just kinda butted in on your convo! I feel like I've just been eavesdropping and suddenly bolted through the door to comment!

UnfocussedLight wrote:Nadine, darl! It's so nice to have men around to do things, but we are just as capable. What would happen if you had kids who were screaming for you to get rid of a spider, and your husband was at work? (That's how my mother found her inner courage! )

As to having friends of the opposite sex, I'm with you guys all the way. I find it so much easier to get along with guys. They're always doing things and having fun, whereas girls seem to just want to gossip and bitch about anyone they can. (The only annoying thing is that whenever two people of the opposite sex hang out, people always think there's something more going on than 'just friends' It can be SO frustrating!)

hi there, you are welcome to join in of course!

Chucky, you don't happen to have a pet tarantula..? hehe
evrybody seems to love spiders....i feel so heartless all of a sudden. some spiders are beautiful looking, i admit that. UnfocussedLight, i'm surprised you like spiders seeing that you live in Australia. the world's most poisenous spiders live in your country!

i suppose when it comes to mother's protective instincts i can imagine developing superpowers...
and i agree, girls like to gossip and bitch a lot. whereas with guys you can talk about all kinds of subjects and i also like to see things from a different perspective. UnfocussedLight, how old are you? i'm 27 but when i was a teen i didn't like hanging out with girls for that reason. i couldn't relate to the girls when they started to wear make-up and high heels.... i was hiding my body when they were showing theirs off (i didn't have anything to show off...) however, with age i find i can relate to other women better now, there is simply more to share and talk about now. i always thought it easier to make friends with guys because i have a younger brother with whom i get along well.

i know what you mean when people think there is more going on and they show it. this tension between you and the guy is suddenly there but it usually passes pretty quickly.