My Living Nightmare

michijo wrote:if it is really true, it makes other men look bad.

Only if you're prone to stereotyping.

Both men and women are capable of the behaviors the OP has described. I, for example am a serial liar in a relationship. I essentially strip my partners of all sense of self worth and sanity. If anything, it's more 'dangerous' when women do it. Men are often too proud or embarrassed to speak out, also... who'd ever believe them?

Tempest80 wrote:

michijo wrote:if it is really true, it makes other men look bad.

Only if you're prone to stereotyping.

Both men and women are capable of the behaviors the OP has described. I, for example am a serial liar in a relationship. I essentially strip my partners of all sense of self worth and sanity. If anything, it's more 'dangerous' when women do it. Men are often too proud or embarrassed to speak out, also... who'd ever believe them?

Why do you lie, or how do you feel unashamed? If I was that guy, I would feel like a monster. The most shocking thing is that a woman liked him. I feel unlovable and I never lie. I would be afraid telling lies would make me more unlovable.

michijo wrote:Why do you lie, or how do you feel unashamed?

For fun and/or to get what I want. I've never felt shame.

I think the man she's describing has some of the same traits that I do, he may not be full AsPD as I am.. but as I said, at least some traits there. I don't have the disorganization that he sounds as if he has.

michijo wrote: If I was that guy, I would feel like a monster.

He probably feels nothing at all. She believes she trapped, he knows it. He has no reason to even pretend to change his behavior at this point. If he suspects she may be getting up the courage to leave, he will say and do everything she wants and he will succeed at getting her to stay. I know the game, I play it too.

michijo wrote:The most shocking thing is that a woman liked him. I feel unlovable and I never lie. I would be afraid telling lies would make me more unlovable.

People are easily drawn to people with AsPD and AsPD traits, as well and those with NDP. AsPDs have a knack at getting people to become infatuated with them, it's easy to pretend to be what that other person is looking for.

I'm thinking this man may be more NDP then AsPD though. The woman doesn't sound like she has much to offer... it's not someone I would stick with. Though, he is probably in the process of finding the next victim to move onto, if he's AsPD that will happen and he will ditch her without blinking an eyelid.

Read that OP. AsPDs are sometimes known by other names as well such as Sociopaths and Psychopaths. You could be very well dealing with a man who is this or at the very least has traits.

Tempest80 wrote:For fun and/or to get what I want. I've never felt shame.

I think the man she's describing has some of the same traits that I do, he may not be full AsPD as I am.. but as I said, at least some traits there. I don't have the disorganization that he sounds as if he has.

Sounds rather like a maniac who started a Dysfunctional family, regardless of his diagnosis, his kids will now have to struggle with reality.

Tempest80 wrote:He probably feels nothing at all. She believes she trapped, he knows it. He has no reason to even pretend to change his behavior at this point. If he suspects she may be getting up the courage to leave, he will say and do everything she wants and he will succeed at getting her to stay. I know the game, I play it too.

I think he should run for president of the United States. He has that Ayn Rand air of an earthbound God: he should become a politician.

Tempest80 wrote:
People are easily drawn to people with AsPD and AsPD traits, as well and those with NDP. AsPDs have a knack at getting people to become infatuated with them, it's easy to pretend to be what that other person is looking for.

I'm thinking this man may be more NDP then AsPD though. The woman doesn't sound like she has much to offer... it's not someone I would stick with. Though, he is probably in the process of finding the next victim to move onto, if he's AsPD that will happen and he will ditch her without blinking an eyelid.

Read that OP. AsPDs are sometimes known by other names as well such as Sociopaths and Psychopaths. You could be very well dealing with a man who is this or at the very least has traits.

I dont know about that, but many people exhibit sociopathic tendencies. Why would you play with people thus? For money or sex?

michijo wrote:Sounds rather like a maniac who started a Dysfunctional family, regardless of his diagnosis, his kids will now have to struggle with reality.

He could just be someone who has a bad drug habit, but there'd still be an underlying cause as to why he's into drugs. Either why, he's ###$ and she needs to get out and stop making excuses as to why she can't. Why the hell post on here if she's only going to respond with reasons as to why she can't leave, attention perhaps? Sympathy?

michijo wrote: Why would you play with people thus? For money or sex?

Sex I can get anytime, I don't need to keep people around strictly for sex. I don't need people for money either. Mainly, Just for fun... it's a long explanation and I'll spare you and OP further details. I've probably posted more indepth about it in the AsPD forum.

I don't want you to kill yourself.

I want you to look in the community for help.. A helpline. A women's help hot line for abusive situations. A shelter for women... something. organization that will help.

The guy you married got you. He pushed your buttons, your buttons of attractions lit up just the way he wanted them to.. and then he married you... Thats how a player gets a lady.. Thats how it works. he worked you... Don't fret. It happens all the time... The world is full of people like your husband. The key is to get you out of their to some place safe to take care of yourself and your child.

Start praying for help. Talk to God. I know. You really don't want to do that again, or right now. Do it all day long. Write about your feelings.

Any self help groups , women's groups you can visit... were you can talk about what is going on.. Mental heath in local area. I know about money issues, I know. I know about medical and that kind of thing.. Its time to save your ass and not your face.

You will have to leave this person.. he is not a person.. not a real one. he is a fake...

Trust God and don't give up. God is their in the camper with you.. Reach and pray for help...

Tempest80 wrote:He could just be someone who has a bad drug habit, but there'd still be an underlying cause as to why he's into drugs. Either why, he's ###$ and she needs to get out and stop making excuses as to why she can't. Why the hell post on here if she's only going to respond with reasons as to why she can't leave, attention perhaps? Sympathy?

Screwed up people like him are a dime a dozen, the madness of the extrovert on the make, when certain parts of the brain short-circuit, or as you say drugs, smoking crack or something. Somehow though these guys make out fairly well, getting the lady, and somehow find forgiveness in society.

People are screwed up though I suppose. Are there really any normal people? Two people want to date, and they both have problems. If society was governed by the completely normal generic Utopian nuclear family, it would not be a good alternative. Nevertheless, I think screwed up people like these two have a responsibility to at least not have children. Perhaps there should be more education in society for screwed up people to understand their responsibilities as mental-rejects, so they can live companionably with each other and not cause problems.

Its clear that the nuclear middle class family value system is juxtaposed into western society in such a way that these sort of people are like free-roaming chaos, while the normal people attempt to be ever more normal. I think it is somehow related to the 1950s.

-- Sun Dec 18, 2011 4:05 am --

OMNICELL wrote:Trust God and don't give up. God is their in the camper with you.. Reach and pray for help...

To me this religious mentality is grossly flawed. It has often disturbed me that the religious prey on people who are in trouble this way. The level of religious force toward the poor, such as salvation army rehab centers, is very disturbing. She needs to seek state assistance, not delve further into the darkness with Christianity like some misbegotten cult member or 1970s Jesus freak.

OMNICELL wrote:Start praying for help. Talk to God.

Oh pul-eeze! If god exists... he's a Psychopath

OMNICELL wrote:Trust God and don't give up. God is their in the camper with you.. Reach and pray for help...

Couldn't it be argued that he didn't guide her to keep her out of that situation? He must enjoy watching suffering. As I said above...

-- Sat Dec 17, 2011 11:33 pm --

michijo wrote:People are screwed up though I suppose. Are there really any normal people?

Define normal? Even people society deems as normal have their issues. No one is as normal as they'd like to think or believe they are.

michijo wrote:To me this religious mentality is grossly flawed. It has often disturbed me that the religious prey on people who are in trouble this way. The level of religious force toward the poor, such as salvation army rehab centers, is very disturbing. She needs to seek state assistance, not delve further into the darkness with Christianity like some misbegotten cult member or 1970s Jesus freak.

Very well said!

Tempest80 wrote:Define normal? Even people society deems as normal have their issues. No one is as normal as they'd like to think or believe they are.

My idea of normal stems from of course the "dry" uncomplicated and boring USA, and from Northern or Central Europeans with their square-headedness. Of course in Canada or elsewhere the idea of normal maybe more free-form or poetical, like in Turkey or so, where sometimes normality is very spaced-out or even tending toward the "spiritual". Nevertheless, I live in the vulgar USA, and that is the barometer of normality for me, which imprisons and destroys the heart on a daily basis with its drollery.

michijo wrote:To me this religious mentality is grossly flawed. It has often disturbed me that the religious prey on people who are in trouble this way. The level of religious force toward the poor, such as salvation army rehab centers, is very disturbing. She needs to seek state assistance, not delve further into the darkness with Christianity like some misbegotten cult member or 1970s Jesus freak.

Tempest80 wrote:Very well said!

Thats from growing up around 1970s Jesus freak hippy types and getting sick of their nonsensical take on life. My parents were in some sort of national Christian cult that was "underground". The members communicating by phone, back in the late 70s when I was born. Consequently, anything that seems like the normal urban Christian revival of losers walking around with bibles under their arms in areas where there are boys clubs and Salvation Army centers, and the people have campers or talk of going camping or Volkswagon Buses, repulses me in the extreme.

haha that dude sounds like my dad.