Power Play in Relationships

Socialretard wrote:I sense a love connection going on in here!

Sorry to disappoint, but as you're socially retarded, I'm emotionally retarded on a permanent basis

michijo wrote: I generally see myself as a survivor who will maintain himself even after others have fallen. I am not sure if that is high self esteem or merely a sense of self-preservation.

Definitely a sense of self preservation, but to travel far away you comfortably, I would think you have a reasonable amount of self confidence as well.

michijo wrote:if they were attracted to me merely for my being confident, I couldn't forgive them for the superficiality of it.

Superficiality is part of human nature, it's nearly impossible to escape. Everyone is superficial to a certain degree. The thing with people with normal emotional ranges though, is that there are layers to them, sure they're superficial in some ways, but under it... there's more then superficiality. The question is, are you willing/able to look past the superficiality to get to what's underneath in most cases?

Keep in mind, some people hide under a superficial cover. I've met people who were quite shy and introverted hiding behind those covers, as a way to guard themselves. You have to be able to read between the lines. I'm not clouded by emotions, nor do I ever project emotions onto people... since I don't have them. Perhaps, that's why I look at people differently then you.

michijo wrote: I am probably just not understanding something about women or the normal relationship between man and woman.

I think that's the case, and that you do seem to have women stereo typed (men too), as I said up there ^, I think you need to spend less time looking at covers and more time reading the book when it comes to people.

michijo wrote:The Christians need to fear me.

Christian holocaust. What's the difference between and apple pie and a christian? Answer: An apple pie doesn't scream when you put it in the oven. Be a great joke, if I ruled the world.

michijo wrote: Its impossible to feel bad for them even if they get their heads chopped off and are boiled alive.

I agree. I would take great pleasure in torturing them, alive.

michijo wrote: It generally improves my humor for the evening.

With me I have no real inhibitions to start with, well I'm AsPD So I have very poor impulse control, alcohol takes away what little impulse control I have. I get in a lot of trouble when I drink, so I just don't anymore. Even one drink, which isn't enough to get drunk will lower my impulse control and I won't be able to just stop at one drink.

I've never been an alcoholic or a drug addict. I have done a lot of drugs though... in the past.

Tempest80 wrote:Definitely a sense of self preservation, but to travel far away you comfortably, I would think you have a reasonable amount of self confidence as well.

I did some tricky stuff overseas when I was in my early 20s, the 21 to 25 year range. I went to Istanbul and lived there for 9 months doing various jobs for a small Turkish turism company like web design, English redaction, and I even painted their kitchen and stairway! In return I got to live In the Sultanahmet area of Istanbul for 9 months, without ever getting a work permit. My employer sent me to Greece on a train, where I slept on a park bench in some weird little Greek city, then I would return to Istanbul again with a fresh Visa on my passport for another 90 days, paid for by my employer. That was fun! I am going to leave again, getting a TEFL, possibly to some strange area of Russia like that weird city Kazan. For some reason this place caught my eye:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kazan

Tempest80 wrote:Superficiality is part of human nature, it's nearly impossible to escape. Everyone is superficial to a certain degree. The thing with people with normal emotional ranges though, is that there are layers to them, sure they're superficial in some ways, but under it... there's more then superficiality. The question is, are you willing/able to look past the superficiality to get to what's underneath in most cases?

Its tough though with women continually telling me to be more confident. It started to get annoying, and I feel almost a resentment toward this "confidence".

Tempest80 wrote:Keep in mind, some people hide under a superficial cover. I've met people who were quite shy and introverted hiding behind those covers, as a way to guard themselves. You have to be able to read between the lines. I'm not clouded by emotions, nor do I ever project emotions onto people... since I don't have them. Perhaps, that's why I look at people differently then you.

That must be quite useful, having no emotions. You have less stress or more stress? I consider stress the most evil thing. Whatever causes stress is bad.

Tempest80 wrote:With me I have no real inhibitions to start with, well I'm AsPD So I have very poor impulse control, alcohol takes away what little impulse control I have. I get in a lot of trouble when I drink, so I just don't anymore. Even one drink, which isn't enough to get drunk will lower my impulse control and I won't be able to just stop at one drink.

I've never been an alcoholic or a drug addict. I have done a lot of drugs though... in the past.

I am all about impulse control and self control. Ultimately I try to train myself never to show any physical reaction even to a loud noise. Concerning drinking, I am not specifically trying to get drunk through alcohol. There is buying a high quality beer like you would buy a special cheese, coffee, or cookies, and that is different than say buying a case of cheap swill with the aim of getting trashed. I specifically developed this skill to deal with harsh winters, as moderate alcohol is a muscle relaxer.

michijo wrote:. For some reason this place caught my eye:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kazan

That looks like a very nice city to visit. Exploring new places is always very exciting. I have work commitments so I can't pack up and leave for extended periods of time. I have to improvise to explore new things. I'll pack up a couple days worth of supplies in my hiking pack, including a small tent and I'll take off into the mountains and go exploring.

I got to explore some caves this last summer, it was very exciting... it was very dark and wet deep in, there was bats as well.

As far as countries go, I've only been to Germany where I lived as a child and I've visited as an adult. I also spent some time in France exploring. I'd really like to visit Australia next and Italy. Probably in a couple of years I'll head off again. I spent some time not being able to travel (legal reasons lol) but I'm allowed again now.

michijo wrote:Its tough though with women continually telling me to be more confident. It started to get annoying, and I feel almost a resentment toward this "confidence".

How do you typically react when in comes to women you're interested in? Do you judge them before knowing them? Do you freeze up when you try to talk to them? In what way does it appear to them that you lack confidence?

michijo wrote:That must be quite useful, having no emotions. You have less stress or more stress? I consider stress the most evil thing.

I don't know any different so I can't say if I have more or less stress, but I suspect I have less being as I don't experience stress I can experience frustration and anger as well as irritation and that annoys me... I suppose that could stress me in the situation, but once I'm out of the situation that's frustrating it's as if it never happened. I don't experience any stress otherwise.

People with emotions seem to be stressed quite often, of course I use the word 'stress' and most emotional words, without even having a real understand of what they mean. So keep in mind my definitions of them may be different then yours.

michijo wrote:I am all about impulse control and self control.

Do you ever let loose? Are you relaxed in social situations?

Tempest80 wrote:That looks like a very nice city to visit. Exploring new places is always very exciting. I have work commitments so I can't pack up and leave for extended periods of time. I have to improvise to explore new things. I'll pack up a couple days worth of supplies in my hiking pack, including a small tent and I'll take off into the mountains and go exploring.

I got to explore some caves this last summer, it was very exciting... it was very dark and wet deep in, there was bats as well.

As far as countries go, I've only been to Germany where I lived as a child and I've visited as an adult. I also spent some time in France exploring. I'd really like to visit Australia next and Italy. Probably in a couple of years I'll head off again. I spent some time not being able to travel (legal reasons lol) but I'm allowed again now.

Ive never been spelunking. My sister does that, going off to Washington State or Oregon to do mountain climbing. You live over there in North West where mountains and glaciers are around.

I spent a lot of time in Europe. The places I spent the most time are Antwerp Belgium, where I lived with a Belgian friend for 3 months. I really got into Belgium, even going to small towns like Mole. I have a love of Flanders and have rotating Pieter Bruegel paintings on my desktop. I met an American girl where I live now working in a coffee shop, and she told me her grandfather was from Antwerp, and that was enough to make me ask her out on a date.

Australia is probably chill too, though it has its conservative side and is heavily controlled by the United States, as a base in Asia. I was in Germany as well for almost a year living in a squat. Thinking back, I spent uber amounts of time in all major areas of Europe including Czech Republic and England, and not just in the capitals, but going off to little cities like Chester in the UK, etc.

Tempest80 wrote:How do you typically react when in comes to women you're interested in? Do you judge them before knowing them? Do you freeze up when you try to talk to them? In what way does it appear to them that you lack confidence?

It depends. I grew up being told I was a freak and a weirdo, so my general feeling has always been that any given woman I talk to is thinking I am a creep, though there have always been female friends just from the city I live in, who are typically girls I can act silly around. Occasionally I have slept with one of these girls, but they also seem not interested in me in a real romantic way, and I always up listening to them talk about some other guy they have a crush on. I am 33 now and figure this is just the way its going to be. More and more I am thinking of going to prostitutes and/or leaving the USA. I feel like it is American women giving me trouble! I think so, because I only had one girlfriend and she was Hispanic, born in Bogota Colombia, not a real American.

Tempest80 wrote:I don't know any different so I can't say if I have more or less stress, but I suspect I have less being as I don't experience stress I can experience frustration and anger as well as irritation and that annoys me... I suppose that could stress me in the situation, but once I'm out of the situation that's frustrating it's as if it never happened. I don't experience any stress otherwise.

People with emotions seem to be stressed quite often, of course I use the word 'stress' and most emotional words, without even having a real understand of what they mean. So keep in mind my definitions of them may be different then yours.

Stress is something that I can see absolutely being related to control over the populace, the government and media hype up stress with war and elections. Not feeling stress at all would be interesting. I can see also the damage it causes, like making men have receding hairlines.

Tempest80 wrote:Do you ever let loose? Are you relaxed in social situations?

Not sure what you mean by let loose. I am relaxed enough often in social areas, but am never the focus of attention.

michijo wrote: not just in the capitals, but going off to little cities

I've generally always enjoyed the little cities more so then the capitals.

michijo wrote: I grew up being told I was a freak and a weirdo, so my general feeling has always been that any given woman I talk to is thinking I am a creep

You may or may not be, I don't know you. Regardless, if you are... why care what they think? If they think you're a freak they can choose to get to know you or not.

michijo wrote: I always up listening to them talk about some other guy they have a crush on.

The 'friend trap'. Hard one to escape from what I've been told.

michijo wrote: I feel like it is American women giving me trouble!

You will find the same challenges wherever you go.

michijo wrote: More and more I am thinking of going to prostitutes

STDs! Yuck.

michijo wrote: I can see also the damage it causes, like making men have receding hairlines.

That one seems to be largely due to genetics.

michijo wrote: Not feeling stress at all would be interesting.

Perhaps, you should just shut your emotions off. I've heard people can do that, I have no idea how. It sounds horrible having them.

michijo wrote: I am relaxed enough often in social areas, but am never the focus of attention.

That's what I meant.

Tempest80 wrote:I've generally always enjoyed the little cities more so then the capitals.

All depends on how you live there. I enjoyed Istanbul quite a bit, and it is very large. The essence of the thing is whether or not one has something to do, like a job, and a private room, all of which I had available in Istanbul. Though they tend to be trendy, and if you are looking for being accepted as a person, rather than say an "American" or "Canadian", a smaller city might be better. Though my job sort of depended on me being western in Turkey.

Tempest80 wrote:You may or may not be, I don't know you. Regardless, if you are... why care what they think? If they think you're a freak they can choose to get to know you or not.

I dont really care what people think, but being a freak is not a hot scene with the ladies.

Tempest80 wrote:You will find the same challenges wherever you go.

I have found time and again that I get along with Hispanic women, and once I had a woman friend who was from Kyrgyzstan and looked Japanese. She was seemingly a "true-blue" sort of woman, but married already.

Tempest80 wrote: STDs! Yuck.

Well, condom.

michijo wrote: I can see also the damage it causes, like making men have receding hairlines.

Tempest80 wrote:That one seems to be largely due to genetics.

Not necessarily. I have noticed my hairline has receded further than any male in my family. I have a large forehead anyway from Scandinavian influence, but I have noticed widow's peak forming with some drama on my head, more than either of my grandfathers, and I think it is from stress. I also read vitamin D deficiency causes it, so I started taking D3 supplement.

I read also masturbation causes it. Another reason to go to a prostitute!

michijo wrote:once I had a woman friend who was from Kyrgyzstan

Interesting history in that state. I'd imagine there would be lots to talk about in reference to that with that woman.

michijo wrote:Well, condom.

If it broke, you'd be a dead man. Have you tried hooking up for intimate encounters on Plenty of Fish?

michijo wrote:I read also masturbation causes it. Another reason to go to a prostitute!

Not everything you read is true I doubt masturbation has anything to do with a receding hairline. AIDS could possibly speed up a receding hairline though... just sayin'

Tempest80 wrote:
Interesting history in that state. I'd imagine there would be lots to talk about in reference to that with that woman.

One can talk about a lot with such a person, mainly because she was so Eastern and unaware of what is really western, the music and stuff, a very pure nice sort of person. My ex girlfriend was Hispanic and moved to the usa at age 6. I really like her until she became influenced by redneck American culture. It was like she was pure, but then she met this junkie from California and hooked up with gutterpunks! I hate gutterpunks now for what they did to her! They dragged her into their American cesspool of street orphans and she succumbed to American redneck hillbilly evil. She even started listening to bluegrass music. Now she is sort of returned to her normal hispanic mind, after having a child.

Tempest80 wrote:If it broke, you'd be a dead man. Have you tried hooking up for intimate encounters on Plenty of Fish?

I hate plenty of fish, all ugly people. I have had more luck on okcupid to be honest. I met one woman on there who became my friend and we met, but never really had sex. She came over tonight and laid on my bed and played with my cat, a white American woman mind you in my apartment. I laid down next to her and jokingly asked her to have sex with me, and she said no! Then she started talking about some jerk she is in love with, incidentally who punched her in the face and left a scar above her eye, a real cave man type! You know, American women really like cave-men. She came over just to cook french fries in my oven, as she neglected her gas bill.

Tempest80 wrote:Not everything you read is true I doubt masturbation has anything to do with a receding hairline. AIDS could possibly speed up a receding hairline though... just sayin'

Well I am tested and I dont have any STD's or AIDS. Whenever a man masturbates, a specific form of testosterone called "dihydrotestosterone" is released into his body. This testosterone kills hair follicles. There are many studies I have read about it. Vitamin D and Vitamin B12 deficiency are also attributed to hair loss.

michijo wrote:It was like she was pure, but then she met this junkie from California and hooked up with gutterpunks! I hate gutterpunks now for what they did to her!

I'm sure she had free will, people make choices and she chose that. They didn't do it to her.

michijo wrote:I hate plenty of fish, all ugly people.

Most are! I checked out womens profiles on there once, they were all making fish faces, what the ###$ is up with that? Am I the only one who noticed that? It looks ridiculous All the profiles on that site are insanely fake, not that I'm one to judge someone for being fake. I wear a mask everyday, but it's needed for me. Not for them.

michijo wrote:She came over just to cook french fries in my oven, as she neglected her gas bill.

How the hell do you manage to keep meeting such low lifes? Why let her come over to cook in your oven because she didn't pay her bills? You puzzle me. You seem to aggressive and hateful, but then you do stuff like that.

michijo wrote:Well I am tested and I dont have any STD's or AIDS.

I get tested every 6 months. I'm dead set on staying STD free, I need to keep healthy as my daughter has a medical condition that can turn life threatening any time, colds can trigger it. She's a match for my blood, so I need to make sure I can give her my blood if needed. High risk of her system failing when she's around 12 - 13 years old, she's 9 now. I'm often travelling to Children's Hospital with her, on a regular basis.

michijo wrote:Whenever a man masturbates, a specific form of testosterone called "dihydrotestosterone" is released into his body. This testosterone kills hair follicles

I can't argue that, I've not done any reading on the subject. Interesting though, if it is accurate.