obsession

first of all, i dont think this is the right section to put this, but i dont know where else it would go. i think this is the best fit place for it.


a friend of mine wants some input on his problem. i should let you know he's obsessed with marilyn manson and he knows it, but it doesnt affect him like this does.
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here's what he wrote:


When I was a Junior and in the second semester I joked with my friends in my advanced computer class that I liked Britney Spears because they knew I liked Marilyn Manson. I would have to say February and I blasted Toxic a lot through my headphones. I didn’t really like the song though. Then she came out with her music video for Everytime and it basically blew me apart. I never cared about her at all until then. I found out she was beautiful and the music/lyrics were good. Then a week later we had to put a cat to sleep because she was suffering too much. She was about 14 and we’ve had her since I was 4 or 5. It tore me apart but we had to. That happened on a Saturday, then Monday Spring Break began and I went to Dallas to visit my cousin. On…Wednesday of that week the radio played a remix of Everytime, in which it was on the limited remix CD of the Greatest Hits CD. We were in his car going to his work so he could get his paycheck.

I returned back to my home on Sunday and the next day was school. I didn’t feel like unpacking so there were no CDs in my CD player so when my alarm went off, it went to the radio. The song was on and in my dream I heard it in a very faint distant and closer was a baby crying. My eyes were shut tight and a little wet. I never saw anything but from the atmosphere of the room I picked up in bed with her with my back to her and her cuddling against me. Then it did a sudden jump (you know how dreams are, jagged) to where she got up and caressed the baby in which the cradle was near. Then suddenly I became the baby and was crying against her upper chest. When I woke up, I felt like I was crying and left a life I was living. My eyes were teary and my throat was a little sore. The radio was blasted really loud and didn’t wake up until the song was over. That was the first hit of depressing I got.

About a week later I got another dream with her in it. We came home from some event of having fun. We walked in all happy and such and I turn to the left to see my mom vacuuming the living room and was like “Hi mom!” But she ignored me completely, I shrugged it off and followed Britney down the hall and we went into the bathroom. She had something in her hand but I didn’t remember at the time, could have been a condom or even a birth test. I woke up right after I shut the door though. I didn’t feel like I escaped another life, I just felt…depressed even more.

I had downloaded her latest album of the time, In The Zone, and downloaded the Live In Miami from Showtime. I enjoyed watching it and such but…it really didn’t help. I ended up deleting both to try and help myself and stopped close to all paying attention of her. I didn’t fully get over it till about December.

Then this year it came back completely with the show Chaotic that appeared on UPN. I watched the first episode and found out through it that she was pretty much depressed and lonely throughout the same time I was. I was dumbfounded and fell down into depression again. Then the way Kevin was…trying to leave her so soon and such made me just want to pull my hair out. I dozed off constantly, imagining holding her and sometimes it felt like I really was. It was hard to want to go to sleep because I was scared of falling into a deep sleep and dreaming of her all over again. It eventually happened and I couldn’t help it.

Weeks later her video for Someday (I Will Understand) was released through the Chaotic show and the video and song was a different turn and very beautiful. Some of the pitches she touched were amazing and it constantly sent chills and tears through my eyes. Even now it does and I can’t stop it. That same night I had a dream that I went to her apartment, so it seemed anyways, and she had a five year old girl and boy (This was before the rumor of twins). I sort of knelt down on the ground and talked to them while she finished getting ready and waiting on her friend to show up. They were slightly frightened but at the same time felt a little warm with me. I felt bad for them and her because, obviously, Kevin had left her. But I didn’t let it get to me to where I wouldn’t go out with her.

I had a recent dream where I walked in the kitchen and my mom said something. I said “What?” and she repeated it again but it was too blurry to understand her, I just barely understood Britney and that was it. Then as I walked out of the kitchen, she told me I should pay closer attention to my dreams. I found it weird because most of my dreams with her seem too real compared to any other dream I have ever had.

When I looked at pictures from their wedding it literally tore me apart. Even though she seemed really happy she also seemed empty behind it. I refuse to watch any episode of Chaotic and would rather not have to look at the pictures again. It doesn’t feel right and as if she’s…I guess cheating on me? It’s hard to find the right word for it. But it does feel like she should and will, in the future, be with me.

One morning when I woke up I felt like I was in like sateen sheets. When I opened my eyes I was in a big oval shaped bedroom and right as I stood up, I collapse and then saw my own bedroom. I guess I was sleep walking then when I realized it, I fell.

When I watched the alternate clips from her Greatest hits DVD some tore me. I never liked the song Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know until I saw the alt. for it. It had the song in instrumental and sounded richer and deeper. Most of it outtakes or ‘bloopers’. There’s one part where she’s in the tree then does a thumbs up and moves a little while doing beaver teeth and I felt like I should have been there. Then there’s another part where she’s standing and looking down at the ground then looks towards the camera while doing a goofy face in which it always makes me smile widely. It continues into showing the bedroom doors from My Prerogative, she opens then it shows her, then it shows the doors from the other perspective and the guy from Toxic holding the Hot Dog points to himself and such. The rest of it doesn’t bother me too much. It’s like a minute and a half thing. The music really bugs me and makes me feel like her and I ‘share’ moments with it.

For the most part, I would do anything to be with her and spend the rest of my life with. I would never get on a roller coaster but if she asked me to get on one with her while we’re dating, I’d do it. I’d probably die from a heart attack though. Then there’s like…the sexual things that I would never do with anyone but if she wanted to, I definitely would. I would never dream of arguing with her or disagreeing. To me she’s like an angel that fell down and is searching for me, even though I don’t feel worthy at all.

One day I thought Someday would make a great song for newlyweds to share their first dance with. That night I had a dream that the song came on during my wedding and I had a big complication, I couldn’t exactly see her face but I assumed that it all was her. I know we wouldn’t end up dancing to HER song as she may feel…weirded out? I didn’t know much of what to think but it felt great to hold her in my arms.


I'm sure I left some things out and it's hard to remember them all at this point because my mind is drained.

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then later he writes:

A friend of mine has the samething but with a different celebrity...but feels like he should BE the person.

Sometimes I feel like I'm connected with her but don't realize it until it actually happens.

For instance; all morning yesterday I was thinking what she'd look like if she cut her hair and remembering when she DID cut it short long time ago. Last night I saw pictures of her midday yesterday with short hair. And I swear to god it's true and it somewhat scares me.

But I know if I had blurted out "she's gonna get a hair cut!" it'd probably be the opposite. It's really strange.

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any input?

Christ.
That's what you call an unhealthy obsession.
Now, obession over your favourite musician/actor is quite normal with youngsters. Let me guess, your friend is a teenager?
Most girls go through this stage (boy band member/actor) starting at about 13 years... And it can usually stop at around sixteen.
Boys mature and develop emotional/sexual fixation at 16. It can last to any random age. Now, if it carry's on, and becomes more serious is the problem.
Tell me, does your friend get physically depressed about this aswell? Does he ever get sick? Cause if he does, you should REALLY try to talk him into seeing a psychiatrist. This can be serious. There have been many depressed teens who have even killed themselves, let alone gotten sick from not having their idol next to them, or even becoming them, as your friend reffered to in the last paragraph.
Your friend is overacting his 'love' for the idol. Nobody can possibly have reoccuring/reppetative dreams about the same thing, day in, day out. It's just not possible. No matter How obsessed he is, the mind develops many different patterns in a dream, and the majority of ALL the things that have run through your mind all merge into one story, which creates a dream.
I doubt that Britney is ALL he thinks of, even though he is obsessed to a very critical state.
This is your friend needing a girlfriend. Does he have self-esteem problems? Do you think he has no courage to go out and find one?
That's what it sounds like. He's got an attention problem. He seems to be wanting attention, he lacks it.
Point: Why would he write a whole essay on it? (Just so someone else will read it). He could be searching for attention from ANYONE on the other hand, though. ... It could be from his own mother.
Bottom line is, he's creating this fictional character that doesn't exist. One that will love him. One that will give him the attention and entertainment he's obviously lacking.
I think you should talk to him, personally about the matter. Consider getting him into more social places, and maybe find him a girlfriend.

--- DarkMaiden

thanks

i'll try talking to him

he's not a teenager. he's in his 20's. though, i am a teenager and concerned.

but thanks i'll try helping him or mention things you've suggested to him

You're welcome, Guest. Good luck.