i hate his guts

he is pathetic, mean, rude, offensive, ignorant, inconsiderate, cold, and ugly inside. I can't wait to dump him! his stupid internet and phone have been disconnected, so I have to wait until it's back in order to dump him.
He said, "I'm not good enough for you"
what does this mean? is he wanting me to stroke his ego and say how great he is. I don't do judgments like that, it's like, if I am with you, then obviously it's because I want to be. or is he trying to say he doesn't want to be with me. I don't care, if he doesn't. I am awesome and a the best person I know, and I don't want to be hogged up by him, if he doesn't want to be with me, because I can be with someone else if I want to. I just hate him!
He's giving me this bad energy and I don't want or need it. I have been able to feel some good feelings with him, but he has also given me paranoia, rejection, abandonment, insecurity. and what he doesn't get, is these feelings will make me cut or have an anxiety episode which is major nasty and dangerous! (He already caused both to happen!)
I really hate him! I want him to go away, and take his nasty, dark and damaging energy with him. He is a jerk and deserves to get hurt so he can see how it feels and if he likes it!!!

he is so ignorant, because I told him, I don't have any expectations. but then he still says, "Im not good enough for you" what does he think I expect. Or its because other bitches have done this to him, put expectations upon him and he is transfering and misdirecting their demandingness to me. I don't appreciate his nasty, regurgitated left over hostilities from other girls, being put onto me and he can get his dirty, girl stunk, control infested vomit away from me!
See how ignorant he is, he can't just start a clean slate with me, as I am, he has to see me as a shadow of all his other dirty bitch garbage, when I DO NOT do that to him!!
He is MEAN!!

thanks for not giving a $#%^!!!! no one EVER helps me. I am ALWAYS ON MY OWN!!!! MORE THAN ANY OF YOU!!!

Good on you for deciding that you're worth more!

InvisibleGhost wrote:Or its because other bitches have done this to him, put expectations upon him and he is transfering and misdirecting their demandingness to me. I don't appreciate his nasty, regurgitated left over hostilities from other girls, being put onto me

I hate this so much. It took ages for my husband to understand that every girl he's been with is different, and I'm not like the majority of them. But at least he was open to that - we wouldn't have gotten married otherwise, I think.

IG,

How are you doing today? are you safe and well?

I'm curious to hear how this person has played a negative role in your life? what specific kind of things did they do?

Sorry for lashing out when no one answered. I almost didnot post because i did not want to be ingnored, and then I was.

pursuitofhappiness wrote:IG,
How are you doing today? are you safe and well?
I'm curious to hear how this person has played a negative role in your life? what specific kind of things did they do?

I am doing ok. I think i am safe, for now, but with me that can change tomorrow.
And him, he is long distance, until I go home to where he is. So for now our relationship is long distance (and failing all because of him)!

1.He ignores my emails and facebook messages. many go unanswered
2.He defends other people to me, instead of taking my side
3.He sometimes answers my questions with "oh, never mind"
4.He stereotypes me, and fails to see 'ME'
5.He tells me my educations is 'indoctrinating' me, instead of giving me credit enough to know that I am unindoctrinatable!! (as if i have no critical thinking abilities whatsoever!!)
6.When we USED to chat on facebook, he would just leave without saying goodbye. Just disppear and I was left hanging wondering what I did wrong.
7. He aked me 'what can I do and contribute' when talking about me living in his house (which he invited me to do ages ago)
8.He assumes a lot about me based on his experiences with other girls. As if I am like them!
9. He never calls me, I call him (not anymore I havent)
10. He pays me NO attention. I have not heard from him in 3 weeks now.
11. He says that he wants a relationship in reality, yet keeps me as 'in a relationship' with him on facebook, and says that his only fear is that I will find a boyfriend.
12. He is helping out and spending time with female neighbors of his, helping them live, yet leaves me to fend for myself with no support or help from him, like he is giving to them instead of me!!
13. He assumes the worst in me, he told me "well, you are there by choice" (living abroad), and I said, 'NO, I am not!" because he hasn't BOTHERED to take the time to understand my story! He is not interested!
14. he also tends to push me away a lot.
15. The few times I have discussed the hardships I have faced or the issues i have, he takes the 'generalization' attitude. you know the one, where EVERYTHING you have been through, is compared on a MASS POPULUS SCALE and equilibralized according to all people!!! HOW INVALIDATING!!

Of course there are more things that have bothered me. Hard to recall all of it now. but this is some. He is very apathetic it seems. and at first he was not, he was great. He just started losing interest for some reason, and fading out.

pheonixrise wrote:I hate this so much.

It's a sign of true ignorance and weakness, means they are not free thinkers!!
Glad your husband began to see you for who you are! That's awesome

-- Mon Aug 01, 2011 6:19 pm --

pheonixrise wrote:Good on you for deciding that you're worth more!

Thank you! I will honor that too

I'm going to be real here, its probably a good thing you want to break up with this guy.

The only main thing that strikes me out really is that he hasn't talked to you in 3 weeks.

People have their opinions, people have their mistakes. The reason why you're so angry with him isn't because he's such a "bad guy" he's just the guy you don't want.

If he changed everything you'd just listed, he'd be someone else.

Some people "like" practicality, when he asks what you can contribute, its kinda blunt and tactless but doesn't make him by himself a bad person.

People say "oh never mind" all the times, its annoying, its not a reason to break up either. Sometimes the question is something they figured out and they don't want to waste your time.

I'm saying, aside from the whole not talking, or initiating contact, there's not a horrible thing on this list imo. You owe it to yourself--to be with someone your compatible with--but instead of the problems you'll get with him, you'll get someone with different problems. You also owe it to yourself to know what relationships are--and what they aren't---and they aren't perfect.

The not saying goodbye on facebook is a little messed up--but i mean, you coulda asked why and told him you appreciated the sentiment.

Him defending other people means he's not a puppet, sometimes you're NOT always right. It means he thinks for himself, the fact that you want him to agree with you all the time is troubling.

Also number 15 isn't invalidating to everyone, SOMETIMES thats how people cope. If life slaps you in the face with a leather glove, sometimes it helps to think that at least you weren't punched threw a glass window instead.

Thelastremaining wrote:
THANK you so much Thelastremaining. I do appreciate the sincerity!!


The only main thing that strikes me out really is that he hasn't talked to you in 3 weeks.

Yes, his phone and internet got disconnected. I think he called me around the time he stoped talking to me, and I missed his call. no message( but that is because it is long distance and he has an expensive plan and I have a cheap one, so he calls, hangs up and I call him back, but I was out that night). I'm pretty sure it was him. I am waiting for his phone to come back on and we'll be able to talk, I am trying to give him the benifit of the doubt to be fair and then I can find out where I stand.

Some people "like" practicality, when he asks what you can contribute, its kinda blunt and tactless but doesn't make him by himself a bad person.

I felt like he was being demanding, and my only worth is what I can contribute, rather than him just being happy to be with me. He doesn't even have a job either, and I won't be used because i have a college degree. I probably wont get a job and he knows this, yet he is wondering what i can contribute. It just shows to me, he has not bothered to notice my worth for who I am

People say "oh never mind" all the times, its annoying, its not a reason to break up either. Sometimes the question is something they figured out and they don't want to waste your time.

True. I can see that and that really fits who he. I looked at it like he was shutting me out and didn't want to share with me, like keeping secrets from me when I am so open with him

I'm saying, aside from the whole not talking, or initiating contact, there's not a horrible thing on this list imo. You owe it to yourself--to be with someone your compatible with--but instead of the problems you'll get with him, you'll get someone with different problems. You also owe it to yourself to know what relationships are--and what they aren't---and they aren't perfect.

I don't mind a guy with problems, but he has to own them and know them about himself and accept them. Like I do with mine.

The not saying goodbye on facebook is a little messed up--but i mean, you coulda asked why and told him you appreciated the sentiment.

I did, i asked him if I did something wrong, and he ignored me

Him defending other people means he's not a puppet, sometimes you're NOT always right. It means he thinks for himself, the fact that you want him to agree with you all the time is troubling.

Can you tell me why this is troubling? I just want an ally, not someone that makes me feel inferior to others.

Also number 15 isn't invalidating to everyone, SOMETIMES thats how people cope. If life slaps you in the face with a leather glove, sometimes it helps to think that at least you weren't punched threw a glass window instead.

I know what you mean, but it makes me feel as if he is comparing me to everyone else. I just want to be taken as ME especially in an intimate relationship. And when someone gives me the 'it could be worse attitude' I always say, yes I guess it could be, could be living in the Congo getting tortured by rebel forces! Why can't he just deal with me personally, that is the true intimacey that I give. I never compare, I take others on their own merit