i hate his guts

InvisibleGhost wrote:

Thelastremaining wrote:

Yes, his phone and internet got disconnected. I think he called me around the time he stoped talking to me, and I missed his call. no message( but that is because it is long distance and he has an expensive plan and I have a cheap one, so he calls, hangs up and I call him back, but I was out that night). I'm pretty sure it was him. I am waiting for his phone to come back on and we'll be able to talk, I am trying to give him the benifit of the doubt to be fair and then I can find out where I stand.

Well, I think a huge thing in relationships is kinda being blunt and honest about what you need. It is fairly weird.. that in a relationship with two people who see each others as equal that 1 calls all the time and the other never calls. I always called my gfs, I can't relate to him on that.

I felt like he was being demanding, and my only worth is what I can contribute, rather than him just being happy to be with me. He doesn't even have a job either, and I won't be used because i have a college degree. I probably wont get a job and he knows this, yet he is wondering what i can contribute. It just shows to me, he has not bothered to notice my worth for who I am

Thats totally different then, but I guess i'd have also asked what he'd be contributing as well since he has no job or college degree.

True. I can see that and that really fits who he. I looked at it like he was shutting me out and didn't want to share with me, like keeping secrets from me when I am so open with him

That might be a causal effect of being in a relationship with someone who's distant. You might also have to keep an open mind here tho, that it might be a low-self esteem thing on your part. Not saying you have it, but it might be why you took it that way. I'd say probably your next bf should be someone who's open and honest.

I don't mind a guy with problems, but he has to own them and know them about himself and accept them. Like I do with mine.

That isn't asking too much, sometimes personal problems are perception tho. My girlfriend would also say that I am sometimes cold in the way I deal with things emotionally, I can't own that always because I don't understand it or see it. I can try and work on it tho, to try and improve things. What you ask, still isn't asking for much. I guess I was taken back, hate his guts, seems more extreme usually to me than just disliking or being mad at, but I take it your venting.

I did, i asked him if I did something wrong, and he ignored me

Definitely red flag for me here and kinda.. just rude if not disrespectful.

Can you tell me why this is troubling? I just want an ally, not someone that makes me feel inferior to others.

A person you're in a relationship with should never try to make you feel inferior. Its just you also have to realize--sometimes we're not always right and someone should love you no matter your beliefs (as long as they don't outright harm others). I told my girlfriend i'd always be on the same team as her but thats not the same as always taking her side.

If someone I love is wrong, NOT often, but sometimes I will call them on it in a respectful way that doesn't hinder the relationship, just as I want them to call me on my #######4.

I know what you mean, but it makes me feel as if he is comparing me to everyone else. I just want to be taken as ME especially in an intimate relationship. And when someone gives me the 'it could be worse attitude' I always say, yes I guess it could be, could be living in the Congo getting tortured by rebel forces! Why can't he just deal with me personally, that is the true intimacey that I give. I never compare, I take others on their own merit