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Why are some people hard to ignore?

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Why are some people hard to ignore?

Postby psychopomp » Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:08 am

I'm sure most of you have had to deal with people who are rude at one time or another and because of it you learn to ignore the comments. However, there are some people out there, for whatever reason always seem to cut right though me. My boss is one of them. She always has a comment for everything and for some reason they're like stinging barbs and I can't seem to ignore them. For example, If I feel chilled in my office I'll put on a sweater- I don't make a big production of it, I just put the darn thing on and mind my own business, but heaven forbid my boss sees me put one one because she has to comment on it "oh it's not cold in here, the temp is only (whatever)." As if she's passive-aggressively trying to start a fight. Now if this were anyone else, I probably wouldn't get riled up, I'd probably make a joke of it and not obsess, however with this one person I just want to yell at her to shut up. I'm sick of her constant comments. Why does she get to me so easily? Does anyone else experience things like this- that there are people in this world that for whatever reason you just can't tune them out? What advice is there to get over it? I just want to do my job and not obsess about what stupid comment my boss may have for me next. I'm always walking on eggshells.
"I do not know you and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you."- V for Vendetta
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Re: Why are some people hard to ignore?

Postby johnbc » Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:09 pm

ahhh ok...yeah. the dynamics of small talk amongst members of team can be complex of a sort. and yes, i do include the manager as a member of the team. team dynamics is in a sense a lovely organism, it is very charming to be a part of one and contribute to its' success...really. certainly, is an odd time and place when to find one person that embodies all the necessary skills and traits to make a team work for all its' members.

on the surface, perhaps it seems the goal of a team is to meet the business work goals/requirements in a manner that suits time and quality constraints. but to acheive success while sacrificing the long term health and functionality of a team...is not good nor desired.

you should take from manager, at the least, that she is not very diverse in her skills in communicating with team members. it is probably that she has never been good at talking with people that have your personality traits. it is her shortcoming in how she lacks the skill and does not seek other avenues for her own improvement. don't assume she is picking on you...assume more that she does not know how to do the small talk thing with you.

most teams have other people around that are able to perceive your difficulties and would step up to assist. evidently this is not the case. her small talk attempts lack creativety, are not positive, and foster the feeling for having less communication. take solace in knowing it is her shortcoming but have faith in an eventual improvement. seek better communication with her...do not seek to ignore. it will improve...don't be impatient with the slow slow pace toward a better state.
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