i really like this girl

ive been seeing this girl for a couple months and i really like her she was abused pretty badly i guess by her ex and its hard to get close i told her i just want to be with her and she said i overwhemed her with my emotions i dont care about having sex because i know its tough for her and i said i want to wait and i just wanted her i think shes freaked out shes been gone home for the weekend she said she just wants to be friends right now because shes scared and she doesnt even know why she said she saw a future with me before but now isnt sure and doesnt want to say something and make the wrong choice i asked her if things could go back the way they were with just cuddling and stuff she said she didnt know i told her i want to see her when she gets back even if its for 10 min she said yea but she just wants to be friends right now does anyone know what i should do has anyone gone through this? she called me last night and said shes stressed out with money and school and stuff she wants to hangout when schools done in a few weeks but is too busy to right now i texted her yesterday and said id like to see her saturday she said shell let me know so i said i know you need ur space and i understand if she doesnt want to see me right now and i feel bad even asking because i know she needs her space she said i know but i understand. should i stick with it give up do u think she really wants to be with me? ive been giving her her space i just dont know whats going on in her head i need help understanding

There could be a lot of different things going on in her head. It is hard to know.

Respect her decisions. If she says she only wants to be friends now, then she's giving you a clear message.

Are you happy to be just friends? If not, you may have to leave her alone.

It's possible she may in time want to be more than friends, but maybe she's not ready for a romantic/sexual relationship, or maybe she just doesn't want that kind of relationship with you.

If you can accept things the way they are, and you want this girl in your life, I'd suggest backing off. Let her come to you when she wants your company. She may find your emotions scary, and need clear boundaries to feel safe. But if you decide to do this and give her the space she wants, don't be resentful if the relationship doesn't develop further and head in the direction you want. You can be there for her, but sadly you can't make her want you.

For what it's worth...I think people who are AFRAID of emotional intimacy are wasting both their time and yours.

Does she need time?

Who knows; she probably doesn't either. What does she need time for? To heal herself? Unless she has made a REAL effort, and by that I mean make an appointment to see a psychologist as a start to her healing, you're most probably wasting your time waiting. If you wait, you are probably floating on a cloud of wishful thinking that has no foundation. Clouds don't have foundations, they are nothing more than distant illusions.

Sorry, but I was married for 7.5 years and with him for 11 in total, and his intimacy phobia never got better: it got worse It may have developed if he made a choice to live a colourful story, but he chose to stay phobic, thus living a boring essay.

Face it, everyone has a story to tell about their childhood; very few are free from negative experiences of some sort, much less 'models of a "perfect" existence'. What's important is her inner strength and what she is doing to move closer to the reason she was born in the first place. We ALL have a responsibility to be the best we can be, whether that be emotionally, physically, mentally, academically, spiritually...whatever. Those who merely 'exist', are totally wasting their time, thus living like a boring essay: introduction, mediocre body and conclusion. There are essays, which are usually about arguments, and there are best selling stories that entertain and add real value to the psyche. People don't buy essays, but they DO buy stories. We all have a choice...live like an essay, or live a story.

I think you've already seen the 'introduction, so you can guess whether you're walking into an essay or a story.

It's all right to like this *girl*, you do gotta respect only being friends though or else you will push this person away. May be quit pushing the being more than friends subject, your problebly causeing alot of stress. In my opinion a friendship is far better, do friend stuff like laughing about stupid crap and rideing bikes down steep hills yelling ahhhh!!! to fast. If you cant be happy with a friendship though, I agree to just leave this person alone because your only going to hurt um badly.

Well if you really like this girl and feel like she's worth sticking around I would...anyway, what's wrong with having an extra friend around?