need more space

I live on my own and in the same city as my family. Occassionally I've lived back at home if a relationship failed or once when I was robbed blind and lived back with my parents for a short period of time.

My first time on my own around 8 years ago, I spent most of it alone cause my relationship ended. So I kept more in touch with my family but they were 90% too busy for me.

Now I'm off on my own, got a steady girlfriend and I can't get enough time to myself. My dad is calling me pretty often, and giving me drives home from work which I appreciate but I like my family in small doses. Not meaning to sound mean but my mother who is mostly better now was a mother who yelled very loudly when she was angry and my sister would fly off the handle over the smallest issue. My father was sometimes good one minute and ready to tear you apart the next.

Now I realise my father is a workaholic and down to 1 job, cause of company cutbacks and he must not like that. But he's always asking what are you doing this weekend? Are you off? For months I was working 11 and 12 hour days, usually 4 or 5 days a week. I'm a homebody, though I do like getting out sometimes, on my days off I usually like to relax and read or spend it with my gf. Now me and my gf are trying to work things out and see if its going to make it.

I'd be fine just seeing my family once a month, but my father acts like he never see's me anymore when he talks to my sister. I'm 34, I like going out to see a hockey game with him or some event but lately to all he usually wants to do is watch countless reruns of TAXI that we've already seen about 50 or so episodes of and are just watching over and over.


what should I do?

What you are feeling is normal. I really can't give you advise. As ultimately it is your family and your decision. As people grow older they tend to reflect on life, or the lack of life left actually. Things tend to slow down and they become reminiscent, or they simply have regrets. At any rate a lot of parents want to bond with their adult children. To catch up for when they were too busy. Sounds like he has idle time now so he has a lot of time to think about the relationship or lack of.

BTW, reminded me of the old Kat Stevens song. I'm sure you have heard it but give it a listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B32yjbCSVpU