hate my dad

Hi,

I just need to tell someone this and the internet is always a good place to vent.

So here's a little background on me. I am 17 year old boy. I am an athlete looking to play soccer in college. I dress and act like I'm rich but I'm not but all my friends are. I have issues with my dad constently. I dont respect him. He knocked up my mom in college and got her pregnant with me and it screwed up her life. We generally argue about my future. I tend to procrastinate alot in school. I have a 3.1 GPA and a 1620 SAT score. My family was hit pretty hard by the recession. My mom spend all of her money on me and my 3 year old little brother. My dad is unemployed. He doesnt have a college education. He tried to start a business one time and wasted $10,000 dollars of money we didnt have to try and start a business that he doesnt even know how to run. He always rants and lectures about how he wished he had a father to guide him like he guides me. He doesnt guide me. He makes me feel like $#%^. He makes the world sound like a hell hole that is looking to screw me over at every chance. He pretty much says my friends arent really my friends and they dont care about me at all and never will. He uses intimidation to get his way with me. I remember one time when I was 14 I forgot to do the dishes and he called me home from my neighbors house. The second I walked through the door he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and threw me into the wall of my house. He punched me once in the side of the head and said "Didnt I tell you to do the Motherf*cking dishes?". Thats just one of the many times he used force with me. I tried to vent on facebook and he made me delete my account. He brags about how on my 18th birthday he's gunna kick my ass. The effects he has had on me through out my life are catastrophic. In 7th grade I tried to commit suicide through O.Ding on advil and suffication. I dont care what happens to myself anymore. I live my life with an "oh well. Whatever happens happens. Who cares if anything happens to me" type attitude. Im not happy obviously. The only time I'm happy is when I'm with my grandparents. Its the only place I can escape from this guy. Unfortunately they live in Jacksonville, Florida 6 hours away from me. My grandparents are the biggest inspiration in my life. They are the smartest people I have ever met. I used to live with them from birth to age 4. I have always spent ever single vacation and chance I get to go visit them. They don't like my dad either and for good reason. Any way im sure there will be more posts to come but for now I think Im done. Feel free to comment on this.


Thanks,

Me

Heya,

A soccer fan? You'd enjoy living over this part of the world then, as it is the main sport here.

How many more years do you have in college until you reach the next 'crossroads' in your life? (I mean, the next time that you can choose where you want to go.) It's important to continue to look to your future, to the time when you will be NOT living with your father. For now, you have to sit-tight and bear with it. Stay out of his way as much as you can, and don't talk to him unless he talks to you. Even then, don't say much. I doubt that he will ever be in the mood to be civil towards you, but you can show that you are more intelligent than him by never reacting to his direct/indirect taunts.

So - yeh - please keep looking at the future. You won't always be burdened by your father.

Kevin

Chucky wrote:Heya,

A soccer fan? You'd enjoy living over this part of the world then, as it is the main sport here.

How many more years do you have in college until you reach the next 'crossroads' in your life? (I mean, the next time that you can choose where you want to go.) It's important to continue to look to your future, to the time when you will be NOT living with your father. For now, you have to sit-tight and bear with it. Stay out of his way as much as you can, and don't talk to him unless he talks to you. Even then, don't say much. I doubt that he will ever be in the mood to be civil towards you, but you can show that you are more intelligent than him by never reacting to his direct/indirect taunts.

So - yeh - please keep looking at the future. You won't always be burdened by your father.

Kevin

Thanks man and Im sure I would love it where you are. Its only one and a half more years till I am able to go to college. Believe me I am counting down the days til then. As far as my dad is concerned he always tries to provoke me into a conversation. Like he'll ask me "what do I want to do with my life?". Its not a bad question or anything the problem is that he criticizes me on whatever my answer is. I could say I wanna be a doctor. He would reply something like " but you have to go through alot of school to become licensed and you dont wanna do that. I "know" you. You dont like school. You hate school". But then I could also say that I want to be something simple like a mailman or the manager of a restaurant or something. He would then say something like "No, you dont want to be that." and then he would continue on to say why I dont want to be that. I guess the main thing that I hate is that Im sick of him telling me what I want or what I should be. He's not me. He barely knows me despite what he make think. Also...hes and idiot. what credibility does he have? Yeah hes older but the life he grew up with was almost the complete opposite from how I am growing up. His experiences where different too.

Those conversations that you have with your father indicate to me that there's just a lost connection between you both. However, this isn't to say that there can't be something in the future. You just both have to arrive a a consensus as to how you talk to each other. When two people meet, conversations can seem awkward until both develop a certain way of speaking to each other. I'm aware that this chap is your own father, but the same idea stands.

For now, maybe it'd be better to not expect much from him. Just answer the questions and leave it at that. He'll criticise you - yes - but that's just his way. Always look ahead to the good future that awaits you.

Kevin

Too bad you can't just go and live with your grandparents.

Is that a possibility? I mean, if your dad has physically hit you, can't you contact some sort of social service agency and then you can move out of home, go live in a foster home, or better yet, in the custody of your grandparents?

Sorry if I'm "meddling" too much here.