Snooping. The "new" relationship destoryer

I snoop. Compulsively. I used to (past tense because he got a password on his phone, and every time i even so much as think about snooping on his phone i get instant diarhea ((sorry for the TMI) snoop on my boyfriends phone looking for texts or anything i could that would prove him to be cheating. now, to my defense, i have found alot of evidence to fuel my snooping. But i do go crazy with it. I look in places in his room no one would think to hide anything. I have gone through a whole BOX of old computer cd's and looked at each one to find evidence of his infidelity. I look in his dad's room for stuff he hides ( i have found ALOT in his dad's room that PROVE him to be cheating) i snoop in his car, in his work bag, as i write this i feel like im getting sick, just recalling the memories. i snoop online, i try to think of his new possibly screen names and google them. I search craigslist for him posting want ads to meet women (which i have caught him doing). I understand that he has given me a reason to snoop, but i cannot control it when i start. I can't stop until i find something. and then even when we are doing good, when i have no reason to believe he is cheating, i still snoop. i compulsively check for his infidelity and its ruining our relationship, when we do actually love each other very much.

someone please give me some guidance (other than "Leave him") or words of wisdom, something, just even a relatable story... i feel so crazy.

Could you just do the opposite and tell him it's ok to have an open relationship? If you know he's seeing other women any time he wants then there's no reason to snoop, right? I know that sounds goofy, but it's the only thing I can think of. Compulsive behavior is really hard to get a handle on.

Or maybe do a threesome with another woman and him. Maybe that's an even worse suggestion. Ever have any threesome fantasies?

i compulsively check for his infidelity and its ruining our relationship, when we do actually love each other very much.

So, why do it?

The energy you're spending on this could be put to better use, like investing in telling him you love him and that he is the only one you want. You know, the best recipe for love is to GIVE IT!

What your'e doing is a total breach of privacy and he will only resent you for it down the track. If you don't give him credit for being an intelligent human being, then don't expect him to act like one.

Let go of your paranoia and invest in enjoying the relationship instead of focusing on its failure. You are clearly focused on failure, and because you are...then expect FAILURE.

It's like hopping on a bus that says Smith st. You really want to go to White street, but if you hop on a bus that takes you to Smith street, then expect to get off at Smith st. You will NEVER get to White street while ever you're subconsciously focused on Smith st. Hope this makes sense.