how should i go about this?

before i begin, lemme just say i'm well aware that my gf sounds like she's a walking health-hazard and that i love her all the same--if all you have to say is that i should find someone who's less of a liability, thanks for reading but that kinda defeats the purpose of why i'm asking for help on here--i'm not leaving her, ever. i'm swallowing a big enough pill just telling this story...okay, backstory first.

my gf and i have been dating almost 3 years now and it's been exclusively long distance save our first month or so. she plans to go to the same college as me next year, in which we'll get a place together and get married. however, she does sorta come off as a walking health-hazard: she's hypoglycemic, clinically depressed, overly emotional or has high anxiety, was at one time anorexic and bullimic, is allergic to dog hair (and i heart dogs) and has been to her local hospital so many times for anything from a 106 fever to dehydration to a bee sting (all in the past 5 months) that they probably have a reserved room for her. and on top of that, our relationship has always been secret from our parents but not from our extended families or friends. on the flipside, she's extremely intelligent, surprisingly mature for also having the peter pan-complex (she thinks she's a princess and i'm going to rescue her from her uncompassionate parents), she's adorable as a kitten and she's damn hot too. she also has some sense of athleticism in that she's a certified jr. lifeguard and a helluva dancer.

but that's where the straw broke my back and got me to reach out on here...she's obsessed with being skinny, she's easily depressed, and stubborn as a mule about almost everything. her cousin and best friend think she's not eating enough again or possibly reverting back to bullimia in her epic quest to be a size 3--which is sad because she's a size 7 now and i've told her i'd be very upset if she ever went below a size 5. no matter how much i tell her she's already skinny enough, she's got the clear symptom of someone who's anorexic. however, i'm not sure how accurate that label is because she does eat...she's just not eating enough. like, her typical meal is a bowl of noodles and crackers, and she'll eat half the noodles and most of the crackers. she's just eating too light. but i believe that the reason she's so unhealthy to begin with and so often in the hospital is because she's not taking in enough nutrients because she's not eating enough. she wouldn't have these fevers, dehydration, chronic depression, anxiety attacks, etc if she just ate more. she's succeeding at being skinny, but not at being healthy. but this isn't just about her eating habits, or i'd be on the anorexia forum...

she's clinically depressed and takes meds for it, so there's really no need to explain that part of my concerns. but she does say some pretty stupid things and argue over pretty petty things when it comes to how we'll live together. for example, usage of the radio. don't laugh, this incident pretty much represents all the "little" fights we have, including my addressing her eating habits: it's basically her way or the highway on 9 out of 10 things we discuss. obviously everything is fine if we listen to her music, but she gets utterly annoyed whenever i play my music. a legit blanket statement would be that she's from southern california and is your stereotypical socal spoiled brat.

what eats at me personally though is that when we first started talking and even into our dating, i was always the one playing hard to get because i knew she'd always had it easy when it came to guys bowing down to her beauty and whatnot. i think it's even an understatement to say she was the one who did the chasing between us. she had to work for me, and all this time later she tells me that it was what made her love me so much--that i gave her a challenge and i wasn't easy like the rest. but over the years, that seems to have changed. to make things short, i feel like i've finally become her b*tch.

what i need help with is how to go about attacking her potential problematic eating habits and self-image, her depression, and how to get her to better compromise on the finer details of our futuer-living together-relationship. should i just let her fight her first two demons and hope she survives til we're together, when i can physically be there to take care of her? or should i step up my game in making her realize she's hurting herself to obtain an image she has no need to reach? and how can i be sure whether she's seriously that stubborn of if she's just giving me hell? and lastly, should i go back to being my old mysterious hard-to-get self even though we've been together 3 years and will be engaged in about 9 months? it's not like the relationship is floundering or that she's bored of me, but perhaps that could give her a lil kick in the butt to stop being such a stubborn dork with me?

thanks for any advice.

Hi, jonination! Of course you shouldn't break up with her just because she's sick! You have to give her information about the issues she has and tell her to see a therapist. If you think that if you act like you used to, she'll listen to you, then maybe it's what you should do. You can tell her about this forum as well.