Using women for sex only.

Hi gang,
Here's my story/problem; I am a married but close to be separated 41 y.o man and i've been thinking about my behavior in my past and present relationships and trying to find out what went wrong with them and why I can find a sastisfiying love relationship with a woman.
Yesterday I found myself stealing my sister-in-law's underwear out of her bag (she was visiting us) so I can fantasize and masturbate thinking about her. I realized I have a problem...I love having sex with women! any women...I get bored with one woman so I need to conquer another one and when I'm done with this one, I start looking somewhere else. Every woman a meet become a "pontential"...If I can get 2 women at the same time, its even better. I do have a problem. Some people say it's normal, that I am just a guy with a penis and lots of sex drive...All I need to do is self-control.
But why I need a different woman all the time and never be sastisfied with only one?? How and where I can get help for this? I'm ruining my life with this behavior and I need to change...HELP!!
Best,
Eric.

Well, what do you want from life, exactly? It would seem laughable to me if anyone suggested that marriage was for everyone. There are ~7 billion people on the planet and there is virtually nothing that we can all agree to - marriage included.I d'ont want to say to you to just go off and continue having fun in yourt sexual encounters, but if marriage isn't for you, then you should'nt get married. If lengthy relationships are not for you either, then leave them before you sense that things are getting more serious. You certainly don't have to do what everyone else does in life.

i agree with chucky. make sure the woman knows what you want too. and some people do have relationships even though they have other people on the side. this is only acceptable if people agree to those terms ahead of time and really mean it.

why make 1 woman happy, when there,s millions of them

hey, ya i do agree with everyone and that a little self control could probably solve it but I have a curiosity that does not have to do with anything being spoken but how many women have u actually been involved with? or do you even keep track?

mrquestion wrote:hey, ya i do agree with everyone and that a little self control could probably solve it but I have a curiosity that does not have to do with anything being spoken but how many women have u actually been involved with? or do you even keep track?

well if your asking me//i cant give you a answer ,but over a hundred in my lifetime// i had 2 daughters before i was 19 with 2 diferent ladies//im not proud or bragging .i was in a couple of rock bands when young the frontman singer//now you dont have to do anything to score with ladies in that position//plus i can talk to women ,make them laugh. laugh them into bed if you like// i prefer the company of women, im in touch with my femine side in a cool way //im not bisexual just straight as they come//i think i was used as much as useing, women ask for sex if you bond from the off //they dont have to say it, its body language//of course you get nown around your town , so there is always someone curious to try you out so to speak//i never had bad thing said about me //only the odd lady who didnt like to admit to her friends they had secome to my charms//but i treat women with respect ,fat thin.good looking, not so good looking ect ect//if they had a boyfriend tou gh its not me forceing them they get what they want//in sex i was an am a considerate lover ,always wait fore you ladies to orgasm before i do,an not rush things ,if they tell me what the wanted fair enough i will give it a go// so all in all i went with a lot of ladies who most are still my friends if i see them// an a lot of them went with me thus useing me for pleasure//i dont now but could still if i wanted go with other women//but i dont ,i still love there company an they mine/even as i get older i see the sign,s an the chances but dont follow them up// now comes the guilt trip as i was married in some of these encounters//it just comes on you an you make a disition to give up// plus the aids scare now im not putting loved one in a position like that//i used to go to the std clinic for checks//then i thought why am i still doing this an drew a line//they say a leopard never changes its spots ..i did//i went for a massive blood test for all std,s came back clear as i thought, an made a vow to never agian an i havent , not for the lack of opportunity //an i still love the company of women//im not bragging im telling it as it was i think men an women use each other its that simple

Well I don't see a problem with you having sex with as many women as you want providing you are not cheating on anyone or hurting anyone. If you are forming actual relationships with these women then it doesn't seem fair on them because they will ultimately be left by you and probably get hurt. I suggest if you want a long, meaningful relationship with someone then you go and get some kind of therapy. If not make sure you are upfront with the women you have sex with about what you are like and what you want.

absolutely wrote:Well I don't see a problem with you having sex with as many women as you want providing you are not cheating on anyone or hurting anyone. If you are forming actual relationships with these women then it doesn't seem fair on them because they will ultimately be left by you and probably get hurt. I suggest if you want a long, meaningful relationship with someone then you go and get some kind of therapy. If not make sure you are upfront with the women you have sex with about what you are like and what you want.

i told you thats all ended now//that was then now is now//just me the wife an grown up kids//some of were suprised additions to my family,ie rang to say your my dad do you want to no me//to which i reply of course//you have got to hurt someone on a life like that//you may have your soul mate an eventual life partner .that ocouse involves some distress //but she stuck by me an now its pay back time for me bigtime //your bound to have guilt,but as i said in another threat//never regret the thinks you have done//only the things you havent//

That's nature, you're born and destined to spread your seed, you're just following your instincts.

Hi manic

Well, I have a question for you?
On a scale of 1 to 10, do you think you deserve happiness? (1 = not at all; 10 = really deserve)...and
second question, again from 1 to 10, how easy is it for you to express your emotions and tell a woman you love her?

Why am I asking these questions?
Because I believe that everything we do is based and centred around our inner core. In other words, everything we do comes from our mental and psychological 'seeds'. As I see it, this is not about sex, but about control. It's about wanting to 'conquer'. Please don't get offended by what I'm saying, it's just food for thought. I used to be a counsellor in the 90s and currently completing a master's in coaching psychology.

Let me tell you my personal story as well: I was married for 7.5 years, and with my husband for a total of 11. Not once did I cheat despite my unhappiness for more than half that time. Why didn't I cheat? Because I have a very strong sense of 'self' and 'value system'. Being an only child, I got to know "me" from a very young age. I know what makes me tick, what makes me sad, every aspect of my being: I'm totally in touch with who I am. I have inner peace, almost too much. That's why I'm asking you these questions: maybe you're "searching" for answers subconsciously and from the women you're with. Anyway, more of my story...

Shortly before I left my husband I fell in love, and it hit me like a sledge hammer. My marriage was on the rocks way before this happened, but when it did, it really cemented my values and made me grow into the woman I am today. Had this man not come into my life, I may not have done all the things that I have. To me, he is the most wonderful thing (and tragic thing) that has touched my life. Now, the twist....this man with whom I fell in love didn't work out. He's too many issues and a psychological block that he can't get past, so it never came into fruition. So, off I went into the big wide world of single life. I wasn't bed hopping by any means, but I've had my fair share of relationships and a couple of one night stands. My point here? The more men I went out with the closer I came to my own values and what I really wanted in life, and still do. The couple of one night stands I had, I hated, and hated myself even more for not listening to "me".

I don't know about others, but my theory is...the closer we are to our 'core' the more honest and stronger we become. The further away we are from our core, the more out of control our behaviour becomes. It seems to me that you're searching for some 'soulful' meaning in life, maybe? I don't know, just putting the question out there...

The fact that you're here asking this question and saying you need help, suggests that you want 'inner peace', you want to get closer to who you are but looking to sex for the answer. Are you actually wanting 'connection' or just physical pleasure? AND...on a scale of 1 - 10, how great is the sex anyway? Answering this question requires an absolute face to face encounter with self honesty. Self growth is extremely painful and a life long commitment. x