Destined to be alone forever?

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Hey,

Try as best as you can to just be natural when you interact with her. I've done that whole 'quiet' thing on the phone too, but just get into a comforta/relaxing position, and then let the words flow out. If you say something 'bad', then who cares? - you can laugh it off. be more 'on your toes', and do'nt question everything. Think on your feet and such...


Kevin

I am a 32 years old female and this is the first time that I am using a website like this. I am having problems to form a relationship (no surprise I know!) and I wish to share information to get to know myself better and also improve myself and become a better partner for the one that will share his life with me.
I have had a very challenging childhood, in which my father left us early, I have not anybody I can trust or even rely on. I have overtaken the mother figure for my younger brother and also my mother herself. I am seeing myself at the moment as a bomb that can explode anytime! Everything bothers me real quick and I do not have any patience left, not in my private life, not in my work life, not with myself even... It is hard to live with myself even, seeing that I am incapable of controlling my temper and seeing I cannot do anything except watching myself exploding like a bomb.
I am not a freak ! Do not get me wrong here, I think I have comforted too many people around me, except myself all the time... I have accepted challenging men being by my side, because I am bad at breaking up, or even saying "No".
The strangest thing is though.... I was tougher when I was younger, I was pursuing only my interests in sense of not beng sensitive to other men, and did not have any problem treating others bad... now I see myself feeling bad when I say No, or reject someone's inquiry for helping him or her. I do not know when I stopped being the tough girl, and became the desperate emergency helping buddy... I wished I could change things, I see what is giong wrong, but changing them... I cannot for some reason no matter how hard I try..

In a very challengin time I met a man that was wiling to support me, that is at least what he said. Now that time passes by and we see each other's mistakes, everything became more comlicated than ever.. I only can say that I am already an empty bottle and have nothing to give... for some reason though he does not want to give up, but is not willing to give all, at the same time I do not know where I stand... sometimes I think it is not worth the thoughts and just relax and enjoy what you have with him, even if it is only sex, than this is your outlet and enjoy.... but then again... I always wished that I would have a family, and already 32 and not even having a serious relationship makes me depressed and think...
Any comments? Or even advises?

Hey
I don't know if this will help at all but I am in the position of the female you are talking about. She is continuing to stand by you which means that she really does care about you. From the sounds of it you really appreciate it and want this to continue. Express this too her. Explain how you feel inside and your issues your feeling. This will help her to understand why your like this and she won't think less of you for it. If anything she will appreciate it and it will take some of the weight off of her. Remember communication is the key. Good luck and god bless