Dating an egomaniac

How does one deal with a partner whose ego is absolutely massive?

I'm having trouble with my girlfriend of two years. There are many things I love about her - she's fun, intelligent, beautiful, often extremely selfless and loving - but she can also be extremely egotistical, in my opinion.

She is simply never wrong about anything. Even when she's wrong she's right. (She once asked me after we had quarreled if I could just let her be right about everything - I laughed but then realized she was serious. I've been trying. But we're both very opinionated and she is starting to take every difference in opinion as a personal attack). I have told her that I'm not interested in a competition but she constantly wants to compete.

Her ego can also lead her to frequently criticize me - the way I dress, the way I sing. Things she used to profess to love about me. She has never offered an apology without some sort of "but" attached. Like many New Yorkers, she isn't the greatest listener and has a habit of 'talking over' people (including me), which I sometimes find embarrassing in social situations.

It may come down to a difference of values. We both have well-paying jobs. But whereas I acknowledge that luck played a certain role in my career she credits her success to pure hard work. (Meaning that the less successful simply didn't work as hard).

Recently, she told me that the relationship might not be able to work because we're both dominant. She believes that her dominant personal type requires someone more submissive.

I hope she isn't right. There are so many positives but they seem to be rapidly diminishing. I'm starting to feel very frustrated and I've been bottling up my anger, which I know isn't healthy.

Is there any way two dominant personality types can make a relationship work? Any tips out there?

Thanks for reading.

Hi, Seamus! Well, you're a dominant personality too and you're not treating her like crap. Maybe the way she decides to treat others is the problem. You can't really fix that about her, she's the one who has to want the change. Maybe you have strong personalities but different temperaments so you can't always understand where the other person is coming from?
It's really weird that she expects you to "let her be right" about everything, though. Relationships are about communication and common ground.

Relationships are about communication and common ground.

That is very true. And while reading the original post I get the impression that Seamus and his girlfriend have very different values and can't communicate because of that. It reminds me of a lot of people I know who can only see things from their own perspective.

"I want this, I want that, you do this wrong.. "
Some people think they are all that and point to others when something goes wrong.
I don't know if you have ever heard about narcism. Narcissus belongs to the Greek mythology, he was a handsome young man who failed to view things from other people's perspective. Your girlfriend reminds me of him.

I hope you can have a good conversation with her. Has she ever cried because you are suffering from this? Does she even care?
Maybe you should try to tell her how deep this really is and make your conclusions afterwards. After all you are dating a person and not just a pretty face. As the relationship lasts longer the inside of her becomes more important.
Many friends of mine end their relationships after a while because they come to the same conclusion as you.

I wish you all the best

You both have to be willing to compromise. Without compromise the relationship will never work.