I feel distanced

Pain and simple: I dont feel part of my group in high school

Lets put some more detail into it. In primary school I was a popular kid, everyone was so nice and caring. Everyone respected each other. Well, thats not true. I remember one boy who was the opposite of what I was. Nobody wanted to spend time with him. And in looking back I felt sorry for him. I didnt harass him at all. I should have helped him. But now he is popular, enjoying his time in secondary education.

I am happy for him.

But myself, im the opposite.

I started high school anxiously, still staying with friends I new from primary. As the years dragged on, groups changed, people changed. I joined a group that are funny. All of them are cracking constant jokes, no matter what whats happening. With impressions and amazing anacdotes. But I feel distanced from them.

Im not particulary funny (there is the odd good joke but thats very rare). Everytime I hang with them I get the same thoughts - I just want to disappear, no one will notice. They also rub in all my mistakes, which makes me feel terrible. It only proves the point that im a failure.

I have delt with rasicism in the past during my early days of high school which i know has scarred me. If anyone laughs when ive made a mistake i automatically think its directed at me.Sometimes walking down a street, im flooded with a A-B repeat of my failures. It really angers me. This reoccurance has gon on for years and i want it to stop.

Ive thought about hanging with new people but, theres no one else to hang around with. I fear of being a loner.

I don't know what to do? Please help.

Thank you

Jack123,

Which would be worse: Staying in a group consisting of the 'wrong' people?; or leaving the group, learning some independence and things about yourself, and then finding a 'better' group? The way you're behaving now is like how some people view relationships that have gone sour: They don't want to leave the relationship because they can't deal with the break-up, and so they instead stay in the relationship feeling depressed. Did you ever believe that you would be with this group of people for your entire life? ...

...friends and people move on in their lives. I don't speak to anyone I knew in primary, secondary, or my first college. I only just left my second college and in a few months I wont be talking to any of them either.

Kevin

You obviously have self-esteem issues. Work on those.

It's hard to put things into perspective in the social pressure cooker that is high school. Remember to value your own judgement and opinions. It's a tough lesson to learn, but you can't let other people define who you are or what you're worth. Try to break from a social life restricted to cliques, expand your social circle as much as possible - including people outside of your school - and focus on your own self development. Chat with girls you have no interest in dating. You can never have too many friends.

High school can be hard, but this is just it: don't say that you don't have anyone else to hang around with. If your current group of friends are doing nothing to boost your confidence, might as well find other people who may have the same interests as you. Try talking to the person next to you in class. Sometimes, you'll discover that the most unlikely people have the same interests as you do. Just be casual, loosen up, and be open to others.