Mending A Broken Heart (Article)

For some it may work, for others it just doesn't... Already doing all of these things. They say it gets better with time. It only gets worse.

Mending a broken heart is not easy and has never been. What I've figured out is that time is a healer, when your heart gets broken its best to cry and let it all out. But with time you shouldn't hold on to the past and be willing to let it go and move on.

Elaine123 wrote:For some it may work, for others it just doesn't... Already doing all of these things. They say it gets better with time. It only gets worse.

Steven Wilson wrote:Mending a broken heart is not easy and has never been. What I've figured out is that time is a healer, when your heart gets broken its best to cry and let it all out. But with time you shouldn't hold on to the past and be willing to let it go and move on.

Your both right, it's bloody hard and I just go round and round in circles,it's good to talk and just be honest, not everyone will agree with what you do and say but if it feels right for you to do it there and then, just do it

I find personally that regrets are what keep a broken heart from healing. Getting rid of the "shoulda coulda woulda" goes a long way into letting those wounds heal faster.

EarlyMorning wrote:I find personally that regrets are what keep a broken heart from healing. Getting rid of the "shoulda coulda woulda" goes a long way into letting those wounds heal faster.

That makes so much sense really, but when your the one being blamed for the break up, it takes longer. My husband has taken no responsibility for his part and just blames me!! I know where I went wrong.....

clairl79 wrote:

EarlyMorning wrote:I find personally that regrets are what keep a broken heart from healing. Getting rid of the "shoulda coulda woulda" goes a long way into letting those wounds heal faster.

That makes so much sense really, but when your the one being blamed for the break up, it takes longer. My husband has taken no responsibility for his part and just blames me!! I know where I went wrong.....

And taking no responsibility allows him to feel the victim, which is not the same as feeling heartbroken. There are 2 choices, fix the mistakes or move on. Love and hate are the flip side of the same coin. We are only mended from heartbreak when we feel indifferent.

You can only deal with your feelings so forgive yourself what you feel you're responsible for, then when you can do that, forgive him for what he has done or how he has reacted. If the relationship is beyond fixing try to get to a place of indifference if at all possible.

[\quote]And taking no responsibility allows him to feel the victim, which is not the same as feeling heartbroken. There are 2 choices, fix the mistakes or move on. Love and hate are the flip side of the same coin. We are only mended from heartbreak when we feel indifferent.

You can only deal with your feelings so forgive yourself what you feel you're responsible for, then when you can do that, forgive him for what he has done or how he has reacted. If the relationship is beyond fixing try to get to a place of indifference if at all possible.[/quote]


Again you make a lot of sense we have children so it's hard but I'm being so nice and not making it to difficult for him just so he can't throw anything at me or others to say it's my fault. I knew he was selfish when we was together but he has gone to a whole different world now! We've been together 15 years and this isn't him, I've never seen him act like this or be like this which is why I'm still confused I'm trying to fix things but he's not as he blames me, I'm still so in love with him that I would take him back tomorrow even though he's been nasty and horrible and things would have to change. But as you say there is such a thin line between love and hate but if he keeps pushing me that's where it could easily go I'm heartbroken and he's just in different and acting all happy and smiley (it might be different when's he's on his own but I don't see it!!)
I'm a lot better then I was at the beginning and still have lots of things in my brain keeping it ticking round in circles. I do try and forgive me for my part so I can move on with things as I don't think what he's blaming me for is right and he's over exaggerated things massively. But I can forgive him easily, I'll never forget it but I can forgive (lots of people can't understand that and think I'm being to soft etc) im dealing with things the only way I know how to and that's to be me (although I do confuse myself as if I'm doing things right or not?) I live in hope that we will come back together and start again with a fresh start and sometimes I think he feels the same way and then other times it's like he can't stand to be found me! It's hard and I'm everywhere but I do my best everyday for myself and our children as that's all I can do

clairl79 wrote:I'm a lot better then I was at the beginning and still have lots of things in my brain keeping it ticking round in circles.

Hi Clairl,

I'm glad to read you're doing a lot better.

Sea

Seangel wrote:

clairl79 wrote:I'm a lot better then I was at the beginning and still have lots of things in my brain keeping it ticking round in circles.

Hi Clairl,

I'm glad to read you're doing a lot better.

Sea

I am, but still keep going back, that'll stop in time I know but it's just not quick enough but thank you for your message

clairl79 wrote:I am, but still keep going back, that'll stop in time I know but it's just not quick enough but thank you for your message

I know. That sucks.

Sea