Mending A Broken Heart (Article)

This is all really excellent advice that puts a lot of the emotions we feel after a break up in much needed perspective. I’m recently going through a break up and can identify with the stages listed in this post. First I was in denial, trying to find ways that the relationship could somehow be fixed. For a while, I even still said that my boyfriend and I were having a brief split to figure stuff out instead of calling it a break up. Then I moved into feelings of hurt and betrayal—wondering why my boyfriend wasn’t making any effort to try and fix what we had. I felt as if he’d abandoned me and our love. Soon afterwards I became quite angry and began to essentially point out all of his faults and transgressions, justifying why I am a better person now that he’s out of my life. I’m still waiting on the acceptance stage but I’m sure it will come soon.

Being in a situation when your heart is broken is very depressing. But there are some ways on how to lessen and even move on on your broken heart. These tips for surviving a breakup can help you throughout a hard time. It will help not only emotionally, but in a way that could keep you from overindulging in spending to mask the pain.

Nightowl9910 wrote:Good insightful article! I particularly found the part when it said accept the thoughts about the person rather than suppress them interesting. Because when reading something similiar recently it strongly encourages the idea of thought diverting. I actually do think thought diverting is a good strategy in these situations, it just takes persistent effort to get it to work imo. That said, I can understand the logic behind the idea of not actively resisting the thoughts of the person and accepting them - but finding the right sort of balance with it. So think both ideas are good one's, even though they're near opposites of each other!

I am at that stage when everything that reminds me of my ex makes me cry. I removed everything he ever gave me but even the chair where we shared our first kiss, the memento from one of our trips, EVERYTHING makes me ache, hurt, and cry.

What should I do? Avoid the thoughts or let them flow?

Everyone went through this stage and we all know it's hard to move on with a broken heart. But I guess if you have the will to move one and continue, we will soon realize that breaking up and moving on is not bad. It's just part of our life and we should continue to deal with it.

Thank you annieeee,

That article helps. I really hope you guys are right. But I don't get why it has to hurts so much.

I would first like to say that I always have the WORST types of people attracted to me. I feel cursed. I have contemplated suicide to escape the pattern. I am a very angry person. I have self control but sometimes lose my cool and hit things or myself (never in the stomach). I am also pregnant though. Hormonal. I just recently got extremely hurt by a piece of *. This person is a waste case because all they care about is partying. I did not know they were into drugs until I had already fell for them. Deeper into the relationship/connection I realized they are mental. Almost like a lost existence. I have tried to see them as a child because that is the only way I can forgive. I am at the point where I can't allow myself to trust anyone new because before this nightmare I was involved in another nightmare relationship for 8 years. This recent one was less than 2 years. I am beginning to think that there is no such thing as true love and that we as individuals are constantly searching for love in the wrong people and experiences. Life just flat out sucks. I have experienced amazing things but at the same time I am getting more bitter from having so much disappointment. I am going on 32. Aesthetically beautiful. Bitter inside. Fed up. Great provider for my family and pets. In fact, they are really all I have. But I want MORE. It SUCKS. I have also lost a slew of people to death, including my first love. This is not why I am unlucky in love though. Life just flat out SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS. I am in college trying to better my future, and I am building my credit, but I still see a LONELY road for me. No Wedding. No Wonderful Intimacy. I HATE LIFE. I only love some of it.

Dear robinhurtstoo,

I understand what you are feeling. I was always alone and angry and jumped when someone seemed remotely interested in me. I see now that I loved him much more than he loved me and in the end I was the one that got hurt.

I recently joined a dating site - mostly just to see if there was anyone in the world who could think I was pretty. The response was overwhelming! I'm not saying I have met my soul-mate in one of the interested guys but what I learned from this experience:

I know you will find someone who loves you, deeply, madly and truly. We just have to push past the pain (as Oprah said "Feel the burn") and risk to love again. Someone will find you and recognize the precious jewel you are.

Good Luck and stay strong!

Dear Thexena

Thanks for saying that. It really is a crappy let down. People who are users usually never come out of it. I am so done with this person. I do not want to join a dating website though. I just need to get out more so I have a higher chance of meeting someone worth my while. I am not seeking it now though. I just know that I most definitely do not want a loser. Sorry to use that word to describe my ex but that is the truth. Most users are losers because they lose. They end up losing. I have done all I can to help him but it is just over. You are awesome! I think you are most definitely right about me finding the one who will see me as a gem. My ex is stupid. It is really sad. I do not love him anymore.

I just never have time to go out to meet new people (you don't find decent guys in bars or clubs anyway) that is why I joined the dating site. But I realized on Friday that I am long not over my ex and I still love him even though I hate him. (Does that even make sense?) I still dream of my ex and I compare this new guy a lot to my ex (What this one does different/better/worse) even when I try not to. I must say that the pain is less now and I don't cry as often about my ex.

But I am glad you realized your ex was a loser/user.

I wish you the best of luck!

This is a good read and as much as it makes sense i have 2 children with the person that's broke my heart so cant for their sake not talk to him, it's very early on for me as its only been a few weeks and i still can't and don't want to believe it but i'm glad i read and maybe i'll read it again at another time