Porn == cheating?

So if I masturbate to porn, is that considered cheating?

It depends on the person's personal views really. I don't think it is. I even see it as a sexual aid. I always like to fap off about an hour before I think sex is going to happen. Helps to last a little longer. And if you bring it up with the girl about why you lasted a bit longer, they sometimes won't mind. Every now and then they'll even ask you to rub one out if they're in the mood.

Cheating? Heck, no.

However, some women do have insecurities about their appearance, so if the question comes up, make it absolutely clear that you think she's hot and desirable, that you're not holding her to the silicone standard of the porn industry, and that you like her just the way she is. Requests for changes in appearance should be made in this form: "I really like it when you wear _____." Or, "You look beautiful between your legs. Why not showcase it with a landing strip?"

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my vibrator.

Ericisme wrote:So if I masturbate to porn, is that considered cheating?

Hi there.

You know masturbation is natural way for satisfy oneself, who is desiring for sex. But yes, watching porn is cheating or harmful to you. Cause porn can lead you to depression and may be you can become person whose mind is full of lust. It will not help you for a long time, It is similar to drugs. No difference between taking drugs or watching porn daily. So here make a choice what is better for you.

Thanks

inform your partner as views whether masturbation is cheating varies on individuals

It varies. I wouldn't say my partner is cheating because he looks at other women or porn. However, if he was always choosing porn, strippers, or even other people in general over time with me, I wouldn't be happy enough to stay. There would have to be a balance.
I'm curious though, would you (or any guy/girl) prefer to view porn of your lover? Or is there just something about the not having been with a woman that makes it seem desireable?

Well I wouldnt call it cheating. There are loads of men that watch porn while having partners. But they generally say that they only do it when their partner is unavailable.
For me cheating requires actual intimate/sexual contact which doesn't occur when watching porn.

FrayedEndOfSanity wrote:Cheating? Heck, no.

However, some women do have insecurities about their appearance, so if the question comes up, make it absolutely clear that you think she's hot and desirable, that you're not holding her to the silicone standard of the porn industry, and that you like her just the way she is. Requests for changes in appearance should be made in this form: "I really like it when you wear _____." Or, "You look beautiful between your legs. Why not showcase it with a landing strip?"

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my vibrator.

Hmmm... I still stand by this post, but I think I need to re-work it. I'm reading it, and I don't the wording I used. I use humor a lot for self-defense, and I wasn't being totally honest.

I was actually speaking from experience. I was making fun of myself for something I had done 12 years ago. My boyfriend at the time had an awesome collection of sexy, beautifully photographed women. I didn't care that he had them, but I made a big deal of how I thought they were better looking and more confident than I was. I didn't give him a lot of grief, but I was uncomfortable with the thought that he secretly wanted someone better. He deleted it all from his computer, and I feel bad to this day. It was a beautiful collection, and heck, I'd like to have it now!

Did I think he was cheating? No. But I was uncomfortable. I thought that his watching porn would make him like me less.

Now, I don't actually have a problem with porn - it's what KIND of porn. A lot of it places the girl into undesirable situations, and I much prefer watching something where people are on equal ground. Since an orgasm is a very reinforcing thing, watching someone get made fun of or treated as an inferior being can lead someone to believe that this is acceptable in personal relationships. In this case, Ravine is right, there is a possibility that it can "rot your brain." It's also been documented that men can get addicted to porn, and prefer it to being intimate with their partners. Although this can be a good solution for certain, specific cases, it can lead to frustration, and dissolve relationships.

If there's something that you want to try, but your partner isn't up for it, I don't see a problem of partially fulfilling that fantasy by watching porn. Also, time for solitary sex within a relationship is acceptable to me. Sometimes, you just want a quickie, and don't feel like worrying about another person. I believe that this promotes better overall sex, since you can devote time to mutual pleasure at a later date. However, masturbation should not come between you and your partner. If someone prefers solitary sex to sex with their partner, there may be an underlying issue. This issue would need to get resolved, so that the couple can have an informal sexual schedule that is acceptable to both.

It has been researched, and found normal, for both men and women, to occasionally fantasize about sex with someone other than their partner. I don't consider these fleeting fantasies to be cheating.

This is my (long) definition of cheating. Remember, these are my opinions, and I am not saying that yours are wrong.

- Having oral, or any other kind of sex, mutual masturbation, or making out with someone other than your agreed partner(s). If you agree to love as a threesome, don't assume that it's ok to go out and find more on the side.
- [Corollary] Getting a lap dance at the strip joint is NOT cheating in my book. Lap dances fall under the definition of porn, unless you're engaging in more than just teasing.
- Nurturing a strong emotional relationship, filled with romance and sexual tension, with someone you know in real life or online.
- [Corollary] Random, occasional online encounters are not cheating, unless you're developing an online relationship with your cyber partner. I consider random online encounters to be the same thing as reading a steamy romance novel. However, repeated devotion of time to one or more people on the other end of the internet can border on cheating.
- Devoting time, effort, and care to people or things to the point that you neglect your partner(s). Yes, you CAN cheat on your wife with your job.
- Kissing on the mouth is a gray area. In some circles, it's considered friendly affection. Overall, I would consider this to be inappropriate. Turn a cheek.

As previous posters have said, and what I was trying to say earlier: if your partner has an issue with porn, but your use of it is simply a distraction, it just may be a confidence/morality issue. It's best to respect the needs of your partner, and discuss it. However, if your views differ on several key subjects, consider if this is the right person for you. You may come to the conclusion that you are willing to compromise. But you may also find that it's best to look elsewhere. It is up to you to evaluate your priorities at that point.

Also, everyone's definition of cheating is different. Some people consider even looking at another person to be a breach of their monogamy. I'm not saying they're wrong - I just don't think that way.

[Edit:] Updated definition for multiple-partner relationships.

I might also add that the reason that some women object to pornography, has nothing to do with comparisons made between themselves and the other women depicted in porn or their own lack of self confidence or some other insecurities. Indeed many women would be insulted and angry to find that if they objected to pornography, then people would reason that it's all got to do with being insecure about themselves.


Given that most porn show's women in rather degrading, submissive and powerless positions and depicts unrealistic ideas of what what women prefer sexually, a female partner might just be surprised as to how their male partner can find sexual satisfaction from viewing that.

It might surprise some men to know that many men, find pornography degrading. This has nothing to do with religion or morals but rather is a intelligent decision made with the understanding that men and women don't realistically behave like that when enjoying sex. The behaviors of men and women depicted in porn is very limited. A lot more enjoyable and sensuous sexual experiences can be found by exploring many other intimate behaviors than the rather restrictive and predictably boring behaviors in porn.

If people get their sexual education from that, then they are getting a rather poor understanding of how to really enjoy themselves and what their girlfriends realistically want.

Well said, Forensic.