NPD OR HPD

Ho!

I forgot to tell you that she broke up with me when I arrived home, after working all night (8:00 am).

First she made "aggressive and unloving" love too me, and then she told me she was leaving me for another guy from another country she met on second-life a month before, and with whom she had been talking via webcam all those weeks, while I was working my ass all night long...

...She then told me he was coming in a tree months time, to live with her, at the same town where we lived.

Ha! Then she went to her hometown for two weeks just to "recover" from the break-up near her family. Tree days latter she "broke up with me" on facebook, and oficialized her "new" relationship with this guy...

Tree days before returning to our town she went out for a drink on a Saturday night and got laid with other guy.

She then went to facebook again to "brake-up" with the guy from "second-life" (which was already learning Spanish to come and live with her), and oficialized her "new, new relation" with the guy with whom she got laid.

From here you know the rest

Ha! And 1,5 years ago, I found her flirting with a colleague of mine (she also worked in the same corporation) via email. It was my colleague from my team of research. We worked together. He forward me one of her emails to him email after some long 15 days of being harassed by her... It was like her "ultimatum email, to see if she could leave me so they could start a relationship of their own...

At the end of the day, she ended it all. She blamed him, she promised me she would seek psychological help (she went to the psychotherapist until the beginning of the summer, and then just started not going)...and I forgave her...Although I felt like Sh**t...

HPD? Or just a tremendous lack of empathy and respect for me.

And what about her easiness in "changing loves"?

I understand also your pain, because my ex is also the type of person which tries to break-up only if she already has a safety belt. If the SL guy lived here, she surely would have done the same has yours did

I'm so sorry...

God damn, I bet you're glad overall to be free from this woman's grasp. It seems that she can never be happy in any relationship an always looks for more. I'm sure that she will meet her 'Mr. Right' some day, but that day may be a very long time in the future. It certainly does sound like she has HPD, perhaps she is even the perfect example of it. Who knows, maybe she'll get on well with an Narcissistic Personality Disorder guy.

Yes. I guess you are right.

She was too much! As I said once, I miss what I tought we had. I cry for because of the way it ended up to be, after I invested so much on it.

Sometimes I stupidly dream that she could somehow be cured and we could be happy. Stupid co-dependent me.

I should just be happy because its over for good....

She already had a 6 months relationship with a guy (the longer one besides ours ). She ended up betraying him. Because as she said:

"he was a narcissistic son of a beach and he treated me like garbage (including sexual abuse). So he deserved to be betrayed."

Well, but at least it was a more fair relationship because they betrayed each other with other lovers...

Unlike me. I have never been unfaithful to her...

Enough about her anyway, what are your plans for the future now? I imagine that you have afairly good circle of friends and a few female 'suitors' that you could hook up with.

You are damn right! Enough!

What can possibly be said or concluded that I still did not do?

Well, as I'm an immigrant I have some friends we have met together. Most of them are couples, so I still prefer to bee alone.

I need to create a clean set of friends without disposing the old one, of course. But i feel I just need to slowly create new routines with them so that they stop reminding me of my ex, just for their presence and her absence.

I'm very illusioned with the course I'm going to take on "Emotional Autonomy". I'm also searching for other courses or activities were I can meet normal people and socialize.

I feel that I still need to be alone. Although on January another guy is coming to live to my apartment to share the rental.

And you? What were your techniques to take out your HPD from your life, for once and for good?

Hmmm, it sounds like you want to bring new things into your life. As an immigrant though, I'm sure that you are good socially and should easily be able to find new groups of friends. Where did you immigrate from though? I managed to cope with my HPD break-up by simply ceasing all forms of contact with her. I changed my email and phone number a few times because she kept getting the new ones. However, I rarely read any message from her and simply deleted them.

I better go to bed dude. It's 2AM here.

Yeah. Me Too. It's 3 AM here.

I came from Portugal to live in Spain. I live in Spain.

In my case, I should first try to get some extra income to cut my dependency on her paying half of our bank lones (which unfortunately are all under my name). Until then, I cannot piss her too much, or else she can really get me into trouble!

But yeah. During this time is more difficult. Nobody is here. Everybody went to their families to spent these celebration days.

As soon as January comes... I believe I'll start finding new people and new activities. I'm lucky not to be a shy or closed person (as you may see from my posts )...

Good night and thanks for being available and helpfull...

Hi,

Sorry, I assumed that you live in the USA. I live in Ireland, so I am not too far from you. I also speak some Spanish. Yes, I got the feeling from your posts that you are not a shy person - That's why I said that you will do great in the future and will have no problem making friends.

Do you like Spain? I was once in Madrid, but only for a stop-over while I was going to Argentina.

Kevin

We do have more or less the same time zone (Spain is 1 hour more).

I like it here. I do not live on a great city. I live in Murcia, a medium size city. I like Madrid tough.

Here one can have a life of a small city but with lots of things one would expect from a bigger city.

It's a simple but pleasant life. Lots of people on the street, lots of terraces...The "tapas"...

I do not know Ireland. Is it Dublin or Belfast? Here there is a lot of people who go to Dublin. Dublin has a lot of Spanish people. And they love it!

Hi,

Yeh, there are often a lot of Spanish tourists here. I live in a town called Naas, which is ~30 kilometers from Dublin. Dublin is the capital city of the Republic of Ireland; Belfast is the capital city of Northern Ireland. Murcia is a popular tourist destination for Irish tourists (I think), but places like Ibiza and Gran Canaria are more popular. To be honest, I would never go to those places because they are too 'touristy' - Know what I mean?