Why doesn't my boyfriend call me?

Hi you two. Thanks for all your help and advice and words of wisdom.

Jay your sneaky suspicion about me taking him back came true. I swear my feelings were so removed from wanting him back and I was so resolved completely to not have him in my life.

But then I talked to my friend who still works with him and he had been using her phone and everyone elses and crying and going crazy trying to get me to call him or text him for two days.

I talked to Norma on Tuesday night and told her I was done with him and he was the one that broke up with me anyway! She told me how frantic and in a panic he was and how hard it was on him and how much he regreted saying Asta La Vista to me the way he did. She told me he was crying and carrying on so much it was heartbreaking for her and she knows he really loves me and regrets being mean to me and treating me bad and I should try to find it in my heart to give him another chance becasue she believes he really loves me deeply.

Well that opened my heart and I started crying and letting my feelings come back and I couldn't shut them off. Love hurts, but it might be worth it with him. What do I have to lose? I've never had a man in love with me the way he is with me. My husband and I do not have a future.

So I texted him and we talked the next day Wednesday. He called me throughout the day and we met at a bar closer to my side of town (he is willing to accomidate me and compromise on that and he is bending over backwards to please me) and although he wanted to go to the RV and have makeup sex I wasn't interested. We kissed and made up and he told me how lost and afraid he was that he had messed up enough to lose me. He promised he wouldn't do that again. Well at least he knows how to get rid of me if he choses!!

Thursday he didn't go to work. He called me in the morning to tell me his aunt in San Diego died and he was leaving in the evening to go to the services. So we met at the RV and had a good time and he was mad at his wife because she took his truck keys. He thought he lost them, but I told him she surely hid them! Tricky old girl!!

So then I went to Norma's because I hadn't seen her in a while and he called and he said he was outside! So that was a nice surprise to see him for a few minutes before he left town.

Maybe he learned his lesson not to take me for granted, not to say Asta La Vista unless and until he really means it! He wants to move out of his wife's house, but he is afraid to live alone. He has never lived alone in his life! I don't want him to live alone either, I want to be with him.

PART TWO: The plot thickens

My husband came home from work Thursday and we were home alone and he always takes that opportunity to talk.

Well he dropped a bomb on me. He told me he has had a "friendship" with a women he worked with when we lived in California. They have kept in touch with each other through out all her failed marriages and relationships. He has used her for a shoulder to cry on about his relationship with me. He said they never had sex but who cares at this point!

Anyway he wants to know if I am planning on moving in with Javier because he wants to persue a relationship with her! She wants to move here and get together with him!

So all through our 18 year marriage he has had an intimate "friendship" with another woman while shutting me out.

Good riddance to him and good luck to them. They haven't seen each other in years, he says they have never had sex or made out, but they talk on the phone and email and she knows everything about our lives.

So now I am re-thinking my options. I'm thinking I should move out sooner. My son is old enough to choose who he wants to live with his dad or me. My daughter will stay with me.

I knew he had secrets, but this was still a shock. No wonder he was so understanding and accepting of my relationship with Javier. He lies and says that he never wanted to persue a relationship with her until I got together with Javier. But he's also said he thinks I had guts to be the one to end our marriage because we are not compatable.

Javier is out of town and hasn't called me. He is busy with family though and it is completely understandable. He gave me his phone to keep. I should have had him take it so he could call me but I wasn't sure if he had long distance. I found out later after he left that he does. So I am sad that he doesn't have the phone and he can't call me. But it is better. It is good for him to get away from me.

With all the revelations about how messed up my marriage has been I am re-thinking my capacity to be in a relationship and I'm wondering if I should just be alone. I feel so lost and alone knowing my husband has for all these years been betraying me by having a more intimate relationship with another woman and never with me.