Ugh! My boyfriend is an idiot!

My stupid ass of a boyfriend is putting me down saying ill never get a job because of my scars, like i cant wear a freaking long sleeve shirt, nd hes saying i gotta cook him dinner every night if we get married, hes kinda sexist so this is the "cause im a woman thing" now he says i cant handle any stress he said "u cant really handle anything more then sleeping" those were his exact words, idk about the rest of the world but that is just like a super hurtful thing, he knows im a self harmer, he knows how i am yet hes saying this %#@&#!, and of course now i want to hurt myself really bad. Sorry for ranting needed to get this out and stuff.

Listen, SHL, do not hurt yourself becouse of him. He is acting like an asshole and you don't need his $#%^. If he hurts you and makes you want to harm yourself, maybe you need to get away from him.

He doesn't sound like a positive influence at all. I know it can be hard and scary to leave someone who you love, but sometimes it's necessary. I thought leaving my husband who I'd been with for 10 yrs would kill me, but without the stress of the relationship, I seldom cut anymore. He was a nice enough guy but he was very selfish. He was mad at me when I was hospitalized (mental health hospitalization) and didn't do anything the doctors said to do to help me when I got home. It was a hard thing to do, but I'm a million times better without him. Sometimes you have to do hard things to make yourself a better, healthier person.

Or, see if he's willing to go to counseling, if nothing more than under the guise of trying to educate him about cutting.

Ya i actually just got out of another hospital yesterday and hes being way more supportive and loving now.

I hope he treats you well from now on, SHL. You deserve it.

He does sound like an ass.

People like that disgust me.. sorry.

I suggest you get away from him, or even create some space until he wises up.

He might be all nice and supportive now, but how long will that last?

Sounds like he is doing more harm than good.

What you need to realize, is that you dont need him. The harsh reality is the only person who will be there for you always is yourself, so start treating yourself with more respect. Dont let anyone, especailly that asswipe, tell you what to do, or get you down.

You are number one, k?
Not him, not anyone else.

Maybe, when he see's you treating yourself with respect, he'll realize that you deserve that respect and start giving it.


Just my thoughts.

And I'm sorry you're going through this, I know it must be so difficult and painful for you.

But you can get through it xx

((**hugs**))


Puff xx

Asides anything else, sentiments like "you WILL cook my dinner" are sexist and misogynistic. No woman should put up with that, period.

On another note, more rationally speaking, you will not be refused a job because of scars. If nothing else, they are something personal, and you can hide them until you've already got the job! And no one can fire you because of scars. I honestly can't think of any examples of where people have been refused jobs because of this.

This 'man' is refusing to even acknowledge then fact that you are depressed, let alone help you get out of it. In a non-reactionary "kick-him-to-the-curb, you-go-girlfriend" way, I think you need to stop seeing this man, for your own sanity. He is not doing you any good, and will only help to perpetuate the negativity that you are feeling.

Negative feelings will, I promise you, pass. A bad partner can stick around for ages.

You're young right?

Scars can easily be excused with a story if anyone questions them and you don't want to share. You were in a nasty car accident and the broken glass as the passenger window collapsed cut pretty bad.

I will say though that if you CHOOSE to STAY with someone who treats you like $#%^ then you DESERVE IT. Maybe I'll get in trouble for saying this, but you didn't say he's threatening you with violence or anything. If you CHOOSE to stay with someone who treats you like $#%^ then you have nobody to blame but yourself.

Some people don't seem to realise you can just remove those people from your life. Well now you realise this. If you didn't realise before it's not your fault. So either you want a boyfriend who treats you like that by definition and therefore it's your choice, or you get rid of him and find someone who won't make you feel like crap. You have nothing to prove, it's all about you. And now it's all up to you too.

If you want a little boost you can ditch him with a speech too, "all these months we've been going out, all those times I cried out in bed. You were amazing. *sigh* See, thing is, none of that ever happened. You are a nasty, abusive sexist pig and a medicore lover at best. We're not just through, we never even got started. See you around loser. -walk out-

But if he is violent or dangerous in any way then you should do something less childish and just break off in the normal fashion. I just thought it might do your confidence good to get one over on him.

Good luck.

P.S. The supportive and loving thing when you got out of hospital will pass. If you want a relationship where you have to go to hospital to be treated well, that's up to you. Remember this post when he goes back to how he was before.

voice_of_reason wrote:You're young right?

Scars can easily be excused with a story if anyone questions them and you don't want to share. You were in a nasty car accident and the broken glass as the passenger window collapsed cut pretty bad.

I will say though that if you CHOOSE to STAY with someone who treats you like $#%^ then you DESERVE IT. Maybe I'll get in trouble for saying this, but you didn't say he's threatening you with violence or anything. If you CHOOSE to stay with someone who treats you like $#%^ then you have nobody to blame but yourself.

Some people don't seem to realise you can just remove those people from your life. Well now you realise this. If you didn't realise before it's not your fault. So either you want a boyfriend who treats you like that by definition and therefore it's your choice, or you get rid of him and find someone who won't make you feel like crap. You have nothing to prove, it's all about you. And now it's all up to you too.

If you want a little boost you can ditch him with a speech too, "all these months we've been going out, all those times I cried out in bed. You were amazing. *sigh* See, thing is, none of that ever happened. You are a nasty, abusive sexist pig and a medicore lover at best. We're not just through, we never even got started. See you around loser. -walk out-

But if he is violent or dangerous in any way then you should do something less childish and just break off in the normal fashion. I just thought it might do your confidence good to get one over on him.

Good luck.

P.S. The supportive and loving thing when you got out of hospital will pass. If you want a relationship where you have to go to hospital to be treated well, that's up to you. Remember this post when he goes back to how he was before.

I have too many scars for them to be excused and iv'e been with him for years not months, so maybe in your relationships it's easy to break it off with the person you love but not for me, so yes i am choosing but at the same time it's that love thing that just keeps me there.

Love is what you give, not what you receive. The more you give (emotionally) the more you will love someone. Many people think it's the opposite but they are very wrong. I suppose that is why some people feel the need to suffer abuse from their partners. It reinforces their negative self image, they may get a buzz from the humiliation in an environment where they are confirmed they are OK with sex and by giving in to their partner in return it means they are giving even more, thus for them the love would feel very strong.

You can't have too many scars to be excused by a car accident. I take it you've not seen many car accidents. It can rip people into tiny pieces. I know someone who went through a windscreen and lived. They are covered in scars from head to toe. A car accident is a good explanation for scars unless you carved words into your arm or some such.

I hope things get better for you, but then again I suspect you wouldn't "love" him as much if he wasn't the way he was.