Am I Mentally Ill?

Is it possible that there is something wrong with me?

Sure, I've shown many signs of possibly having mental issues but that aside, I seem to only date men who are severely ill.

Let me count the ways:

1. Abusive, can not hold a job, WAY too hyper all of the time - actually, I've never over analyzed this guy too much but he reminded me 100% of another guy I dated who was diagnosed ill.

2. Depressed- all of the time. The child character Eore (winnie the pooh) reminds me a lot of this guy. He had little interests other then video games and violent sex.

3. I never really found out what was wrong with this one. He lied all of the time to everyone. Made of fake stories of who he was, where he lived, what he did. The police (with fear in their eyes) told me to stay away. I could see EXTREME violent tendencies in him (however was never hit - relationship only lated 3 - 4 months)

4. This guy told me he was BPD... but he also told me he was schizophrenic--- years passed and he revoked the schizophrenic comment, saying that he'd never said this. I saw him talking to the wall, talking to him self, unable to function in a 'norm' way. Nothing was ever right.

5. Okay, so this new guy tells me that he is Bipolar. I knew something was up with him right away.

There's something going on. How do 5 of 6 relationships end up to be " mentally ill " ?

The messed up thing is that I seem to always like these people. I love their charm, intelligence, what APPEARS to be confidence (however I later learn I was wrong about that), their dark childhood, the strong sense of comfort I get with them--- etc.

I don't get it though. I chose NOT TO DATE ANOTHER " MENTALLY ILL " guy. I just don't know how to maintain the relationship. I feel that they are over dependent.

I've been single for a year this time (longest ever) and met a many guys (friends of friends, a how do you do in the park, internet etc) and passed them all by. (except one that seemed VERY sane tho wasn't interested in me) and when I finally took a second glance a guy he turned out to be bipolar.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have a big issue with this. I have always found it quite charming and interesting being with someone who is 'clinically ill' but I just don't think I can do it again.

I'm afraid that I'm falling into the trap that I've seem to have set for myself... again, and again.

Is it possible that there's something wrong with me and that's why I'm attracted to these men?


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EDIT:

I'd like to add that every one of these guys like either aggressive or very violent sex. What shocked the hell out of me is that guy #4 had only had sex with one girl before me and #5 had sex with two girls before me... he was a virgin in so many ways. I'm shocked to learn that these near 'virgins' were so much into violent sex.

It's all a matter of perspective.

What you are saying is you find "mentally ill" charming?

I find that we all paint a very good impression of ourselves to try and stand with the other "normal" people of our society. How can you keep something like it a secret for long though?

Perhaps you find it easy to take in these strays because you care, and you want to help.

Mentally ill can come in all shapes and sizes.