Read this one....

When i was 19 years of age i ran into this lady that i met when i was taking the bus commuting to work. I felt as if she was unhappy, maybe she was really good at it, but her life was really not working out with her husband (She told me later on). Yeah, bad idea house wrecker, shame on me. Remind me not to get married, seriously! What goes around comes around, right? Really doesn't matter because shits just been nothing but ILL anyhow back to story. She knew her husband was having an affair. She said they haven't slept together for awhile (not sure if i believe that or not). So we gone out since than, had our differences. Finally she got the devorce. She had to deal with alot of my issues. I guess everyday the pain just gotten worse and worse. You know when suffering from PTS, things are not normal around you. We've gone travelling, since she had money and i didn't. Dead-End job what can you expect. At first the relationship was nice (for like couple of years), but slowly got worse. She would gain weight, act differently around me or some nights things wouldn't work out, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Oh i'm tired baby, blah blah blah, w/e. I'm a paraniod wreck to even begin with and i would always have my suspecion regardless. Just felt as if she was seeing someone else. They just know how to deal with mind games i guess, cause i still don't understand the BITCH. Yes, she was old enough to be my mother go figure. She's twice my age, i guess when you're not all their this sort of thing comes with the territory. Living an adnormal life, i couldn't stop thinking why people were looking at us in public. It's okay to see two #######1, but not a young guy and an lady, wtf? She was always overprotective, can't have no girl numbers on my cell (which wasn't a problem to even begin with). I couldn't even look someone in the eye when outdoors, now how the ###$ do you think i've done it so long. BEATS ME. Went through JC with C's, D's, and Fails. Didn't know what the ###$ i wanted to do. I would be with her and feel more secure than being with my parents (great idea idiot). My parents never knew what my brother and i were suffering from. They were just in their own little world. So somehow i guess i felt understood when i was with her, you know what i mean. She was an idiot too, since like sometime in the relastionship i took her to some site and pointed out what happens when you have PTS illness. She was like, "That is exactly what you have, i've seen it". NO $#%^! I always wanted to be with a girl around my age. I was afraid and i don't know why? I thought it would be the GREATEST thing in the world. I can't explain it, like i'm a normal person finally and this is my girlfriend she's 27. Dream on..... So we broke up more than the stars in the universe and gotten back, because of my up/downs mental problems that had no reasoning. I saw so many signs but didn't know wtf to do. Some of them are actually personal but like she would still have her ex-bosses number on her phone and i was like, wtf is this $#%^. Oh sorry honey, i just haven't gotten around deleting it yet. BS! Her favorite line was, "I'm just a girl" yeah a ######6 weird one too. It's like, lady look into the ###$ mirror do you see anything remotely close to being a little girl (i'm assuming either in teens or young adult). I was so ###$ in the head, sometimes i would have these crazy thoughts that maybe there is a man underneath that body. Anyhow we broke up for good i guess (It's march and i haven't seen her since Dec. 2007) since i found this young girl, she's 21 but also has a young little girl (what a step ingenious). At first she was really amazing when i would believe something she would say to me. I would joke around with her and would look so serious she would believe me (thank the MEDS). I slowly noticed many difference with her. The ######6 kid would never stfu. So we would be watching a movie at her place and there goes the kid ######6 crying. Better yet, this girl is so mindless she would let some drunk guy touch her while sitting next to me and not say a ######6 word. The dude wasn't single either. His f'n girlfriend was like RIGHT THERE. I wasn't feeling to good so i tried not to look at people so i just stared like a fool at the fireplace. It was some party (i ######6 hate parties) for new years. I kept on telling her, let's go you've had like four cups of alcohol already, you drunk ###$. She wanted to stay longer, wtf? This whole time i didn't even knew anything about the $#%^ that was happening next to me. The guy was weird and that's what i thought, because he would get my attention and say, "Eh what was your name again" and would shake my hand and between us would be her, so after i look away and say in my head, WTF is this dude on, this is like the third ######6 time, he would roll his hand around her shoulder right next to me. I'm sure his girlfriend noticed but that broud was probably dummer than shitz. This is long, i can never explain anything without writing a ######6 book. So i finally got her to go, and somehow we got into some gay arguement on the way home (i was driving) and she wanted to go back. Now remember this whole time she didn't tell me anything about that incedent or if i even ######6 knew. Finally i got her to come over so i can just be with her for the rest of the night. When i finally part the car, i don't know what it was but she finally brought it up. I was like WTF? That whole time you were sitting there you never thought about saying anything to him, or even telling me about this $#%^. Making me look like a fool, the ######6 guy was not only big but drunk and he was pissing me off with his whats your name again and hand shakes around this broud. She's like "I thought you knew" wtf? Leave this bitch now. I was so sick i dropped her off home and told her to never call me. That is not a girl for me. But instead we got back together like two days later. haha! Anyhow i always would insult her because she was an idiot. Two worded sentence bitch, would never even communicate well, like this is what happen to me this morning and it really sucked, and what did she say, either changes the topic or just says two words and thats it. The bitch would even get mad if i tried helping someone with their question while walking to school on the phone with her, she would just hangup. I mean this is it, "Hi, what is it, oh the class is right over there" CLICK. wtf? I call back and she would say i'm ignoring her. ###$ i thought i had some serious problems $#%^. Well, her ex beat her so her previous relationship was kind of ###$ up. The guy would do drugs and drink and would come home start beating her for something so stupid. So she decided to have the lil' girl so she thought hopefully it will change the guy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ###$! MUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA! Yeah, you're thinking now wtf are you doing with this dumb broud. Anyhow the last week i talk to her was at the beginning of March. So since Dec. i've been seeing her. Gas, Food, movies, time, energy, pain, you have no idea how much i lost during that time period, ###$! So that week we would always brush me off in some way or some how. I would be like, he i haven't seen you over the weekend, can i come by, and she would be like no because you've been a BAD BOY. Since it was probably from me insulting her that day, muhahahahaha! I felt something strange though, i don't know if you understand but, it's like no matter what i said to her she still didn't want me to come over. Strange. Well, the weekend came and we haven't talked for like couple of days, hmm.... and i'd figure i would drop off a dozen of white roses at her works and apologize for whatever the ######6 reason it was she had issues with. Well, it almost look as if she tried avoiding me since she noticed i was right about to walk in, and she would go straight into the supply room. The other girls were like "You can't be here dr. so and so is here". First i thought well they are right, but i don't think that would be a problem. They were probably trying to get me out of there so i don't talk to her. Well, she went into the supply room and close the door. When i opened the door her back was against me and she just stood there like a ######6 zombie. I was like hey, i'm sorry for what i have done. She turns around with this TERN running down her left eye while whiping it, and says to me, for what you haven't done anything wrong. I showed her the flowers, roses whatever and she took them (probably threw them away like right after i left). So i really didn't know what was going on, since well i'm sort of slow. Let's see, she hasn't called or hasn't been herself lately. She looked as if she was really working and was going to get something out of the supply room when i went into their office, but saw the tern and when she says you haven't done anything wrong, what the ###$ does that tell you? Well, i tried calling her that night (friday) and some dude picked up and said, she's not here can i take a message i was like no it's okay. Than like 5 minutes later some girl called me with a restricted number and was like hi can i talk to blah blah blah, i was like yeah this is him, than hung up. Hmm.....So i would leave messages on her phone telling her how i didn't mean what i did, or i would change (i really would too) bs! hahaha and nothing. Well, the bitch was seeing some dude, that week, and didn't have the balls to tell me oh it's not working out, or anything ###$ close. Since after that weekend i was like, okay wtf? So days went by and by and by, weekend goes, next week, nothing. I wouldn't even try going to her work, i knew something was missing. I ######6 didn't deserve this okay, i really didn't. So i called her like two nights ago (yeah ######6 great what a good idea). Some dude picked up, i think it was the same moron. He's like she's not her right now HOMIE, can i take a message, i was like NEGITIVE. CLICK. She calls back and says, "What do you want". MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WTF? What do i want? What the ###$ happened? MUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Why did you stop the communication sequence first off right. Okay back to this bs, i was like who is that. She's like my bf, i was like so you were probably seeing him that whole week since you were acting different great. She said something really fast or maybe i'm deaf, but it was really ###$ up. Like all those month were a waste of time, nothing was there and blah blah blah. I was like, umm....shes like so what do you want. I was like, just forget it, and just hung up the phone. I told you not to call her you idiot, i kept on telling myself. ###$ ###$ ###$ ###$ ###$! Now the lady is seeing some dude that lives in Wa. and sending this dude naked pictures of her, MUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Man, this getting any better or what, since i tried calling her around those couple of ###$ up weeks with this broud just to see what she's been up too. Well, for one thing she would never pick up. E-mails me and states i don't want to talk, i will always remember you. blah blah blah blah. wtf?

I know this is probably the most weirdest $#%^ you've ever read, but what do you think? Grammar? Run-Offs? Anxiety? Depression? wtf do you think of this $#%^...? MUHAAHAHHA So i'm lonely and can't stop thinking about this $#%^, wtf do i do....

You attract what you are.

What's that suppose to mean? I'm a good person, don't just justify what you see in the writings. Yes, i do curse which is not a great thing to do, but if you really look into what has happened in this situation, and wouldn't really talk to anyone about you would probably get on the forum and fire it up! I would of expected more people to put in their thoughts, but instead i get you putting down something negitive and very poorly judged. I guess this is the new trend in forums, always some negitive person has to say something so stupid which wouldn't make any sense because WE ARE HERE TO HELP right?

Did you expect her to treat you any better than she treated the husband she left you for?

She didn't treat him as she did becuase he was abusive - she treated him as she did and was attracted to him in the first place because she's insecure, abusive, and immature herself.

She's treating you in the only way she knows to treat anybody - she reacts based on her feelings and her needs - to situations around her.

Same with you.

It's what drew you together - you both wanted attention, approval, distraction, diversion - you both believed that vaguely together you'd accomplish more, have more, become more than you would as individuals. Common misconception.

Well, this lady that i met on the bus was never abusive. I know, my explainations are never specific, on-topic, understanding. Neither of the girls (Young or Old) were abusive (Well, at least physically). The young one was being abused physically by her previous boyfriend. This lady was probably going through hell with her husband before she even met me. Her husband would leave to work and come back the next day. She knew he was cheating on her. Besides she paid for the WHOLE entire wedding and still is paying it off. She was sweet, almost near perfect at least for me, but her age always threw me off. Besides there was a big difference between her and the girl that i met just recently. We were together for so long we could of been husband and wife, but things started going sore. She would be lazy, tired to do things, etc. Plus i would notice things about her that were not only strange but obvious that she's been doing things behind my back.

Anyhow i know you don't want to hear this whole thing again, and besides i just wanted to apologize for my misunderstanding. You still needed to be more specific instead of just stating "You attract what you are" which is so bad. I still think that you got it sort of wrong, it's not your fault. Anyhow thank you for at least taking the time to read and post your opinion.