Crash

hey, Lyric. i'm just interested why do you think that he's narcissistic and manipulative?
Let's see what you have told us about his behavior.

Lyric wrote:In contrast, Tyler (the Narcissist) is only around when I want him to be

that's... great isn't it? he gives you space, and doesn't suffocate you with his neediness.

Lyric wrote:and then it's only to play around or to be sexual.

He likes sex. And i assume you like sex too. Feels good.

Lyric wrote:His basic ideals towards helping someone are to tell them "$#%^ happens"

He's in high school as i understand. You mean he wouldn't help his close friend if he would ask for help?

Lyric wrote: or that they shouldn't complain about their issues to others.

How is this called ... boundaries i think. Yes, personal boundaries. More info on google.

Lyric wrote:*beats head on wall* I just... Don't want to think that I'm strictly attracted to bad relationships.

Could you tell why you feel this is a bad relationship?
I think you could ask yourself - do you want to change this person?
Because for what it's worth i can tell you - it's not your or anyone's job to do that. It's his. You can help and support him but he shouldn't be your "project". People aren't that.

Cheers

He actually is narcissistic, three psychologists agree on that one, And it's his over all attitude. He.. doesn't care about anyone. He isn't capable of it. In either case, I'm done with him as of today... I don't need to deal with it when I have so much going on.

Lyric wrote: He.. doesn't care about anyone. He isn't capable of it. In either case, I'm done with him as of today...

I like your signature. It's something about loving unconditionally isn't it?

Hey, Lyric. I think not loving someone who doesn't love you is pretty healthy. I'm glad you're getting your life back on track.

jasmin wrote: I think not loving someone who doesn't love you is pretty healthy

hey, jasmin, hope i won't steal this thread, since lyric seems to solve her problems already. This thing is on my mind recently for some time already - and i believe it's not a coincidence that i kinda found discussion about it here.
So what you are saying is that we should only love those people who love us too?
Now if i understand correctly this means that let's say in a relationship people should fall in love with each other at the same moment. And this thing, this conditional love "i'll love you only if you love me back" you think is healthy in what way?
From my point of view it seems like a bit of black-mail and selfish.
Please correct me if i'm wrong but isn't love about giving?
For example parents love their newborn so much - and they don't really get anything from it. The baby is as selfish as he can be - because he's weak.
I'm too young to have my kids but do you think parents love their baby because they expect to get anything back or is it unconditional?

Hope you'll have time to respond to this longish post.
Anyone having anything to say about this topic, please, tell me your opinions too.


Cheers

Ambitions wrote:

Lyric wrote: He.. doesn't care about anyone. He isn't capable of it. In either case, I'm done with him as of today...

I like your signature. It's something about loving unconditionally isn't it?

He's a cruel person, that can't honestly describe on here. I didn't say anything to him, or anything, but more like leaving the ball in his court. If he comes to me, I'll see if anything can be worked out. I just want... a glimmer, something, anything, to show that he cares about ANYTHING.

Hi, Ambitions! I meant to say that it's not healthy to keep loving and waiting for someone when you know that they will never love you. Love should be shared and enjoyed and you can't wait for the other person to fall in love with you for ever.
When most of us fall in love, the first thing we hope for is that the other person will love us back, so that we ca be happy with them.
Also, I think that parents love their children becouse it is easyer to care for them that way. It benefits the parent becouse they will live on, through their children.
Your post wasn't long, it's ok

Lyric, I think you have the right idea. Wait and see if he comes to you and tell him what you need from him and ask him what he needs. It's best to solve this with comunication, but you need to know that he cares enough to contact you about it.

Lyric wrote:He's a cruel person, that can't honestly describe on here. I didn't say anything to him, or anything, but more like leaving the ball in his court. If he comes to me, I'll see if anything can be worked out. I just want... a glimmer, something, anything, to show that he cares about ANYTHING.

I understand now. I can see now how that's... real.

Jasmin wrote:Hi, Ambitions! I meant to say that it's not healthy to keep loving and waiting for someone when you know that they will never love you. Love should be shared and enjoyed and you can't wait for the other person to fall in love with you for ever.
When most of us fall in love, the first thing we hope for is that the other person will love us back, so that we ca be happy with them.
Also, I think that parents love their children becouse it is easyer to care for them that way. It benefits the parent becouse they will live on, through their children.
Your post wasn't long, it's ok

Thank you that actually helped me understand this particular situation and my original question.



Cheers

P.S. I kinda thought that the best way to be/feel loved is to give love.

You're welcome, Ambitions. Thank you for joining our forum