Concerned about inability to forget someone

I am new to this forum and not sure I am posting in the right place. About two years ago I came across someone who seemed like me. I was almost instantly attracted to him mentally, emotionally, and physically. This person is a bit of a public figure, does talks and videos. I sent some fan letters that were ignored. As I do a lot of research I sent some info I thought might be useful. Ignored. Stopped doing that. But did post in a mutual forum hoping he'd see how much we had in common. Nothing really resulted. At least six months ago I started trying different ways to forget about him. I have always thought about him excessively. I should mention I am of mature age, have never had anything like this happen, and usually by two months was over a relationship break-up. So I tried being angry. Tried not going on any sites or forums he was on. Tried selftalk in which I told myself I shouldn't let myself be treated like this. Nothing worked. Sometimes I almost feel possessed. I am not traditionally religious, but I have prayed for it to end. I fear i have some mental illness. I researched seeing a therapist, but it is just too expensive. Wondering what others think, any suggestions. Thank you.

naira wrote:Tried selftalk in which I told myself I shouldn't let myself be treated like this.

I assume this is roleplay because I took it from the first half of your post that you have never met this person or even talked to him.

I haven't looked it up but there must be some research into being obsessive with a stranger, especially someone who has some level of public exposure, like a celebrity.

Yes, a therapist would be good if you could afford one. The only suggestion I could make is one that you have already enacted and that is staying away from where this person is and avoiding any media that might expose you to him.

This is probably not the right forum for this kind of issue but I'm not sure what is because, as you have stated, this hasn't happened to you before and might pass and never occur again.

Thanks for your reply. You said you assumed this was "role play". What is that? Also, I never got any notification in my email of a reply. I thought that was automatic.

Updating my original post. This is weird. I have no idea of why, but after posting about it on here, my focusing on this person seemed to wane. The feelings are less, as are the thoughts. I have started reading a helpful self-help book. This has led me to focus more on myself, rather than others. I have started some rewarding new activities. So I do think I will come to terms with this and move on. Thanks again for your reply ,Otter

I"m glad things have gotten better.

I know how this is, I recently had a very good friend who was more like a sister suddenly remove themselves from my life.

Several months ago, I started to have some issue with my mental health once again and this resulted in some confused and altered thinking. Over time it got worse, and the mood swings became far more pronounced. I was going from happy to sad, frustrated to relaxed in a matter of minutes sometimes. During this time my friend who also has their own mental health battles was exceptionally helpful and understanding.

We always seemed to have a bond, and I know they also felt it, we just couldn't put a finger on it to be honest it was a little strange. During our conversations we would talk about a wide array of things, and I would discuss my issues and she would elaborate on hers too. She had recently separated from her husband and was going through a very difficult time. Some days for her were worse than others, especially given that he was both mentally and physically abusive towards her.

Unfortunately, our talks caused me to become more and more attached to her without realizing I had fallen in love with her. I know that it was wrong, and I told her how I felt and knew that she would say no because she had just gotten out of an abusive relationship. She told me that I she wasn't interested in me in that way. I accepted her explanation as she was open and honest towards me.

Little did I know that in the very next week she would be in a new relationship with someone else. I still felt strong feelings towards her, but I found it was more to do with my medication altering my mental state. It was with her assistance and that of another friend that I found the cause of my issues. I had been prescribed Pregabalin, which can affect your mental health (and for over a year it hadn't seemingly had any effect).

The detox off the Pregabalin was a slow process over a month and even when it was completed there was still lingering effects. I couldn't shake my feelings towards her and over time I was able to come to the realization that my feelings were not the marriage type love but more a brother and sister type love. I had come to this revelation during a therapy session on a Monday morning. I messaged her to chat, but she seemingly didn't see it (I later found out she'd blocked my messages)

The Tuesday was her son's birthday and I had promised to phone her to wish him a Happy Birthday. She naturally didn't answer the phone, so I left a voice message. She texted back later, and I accidently rang her phone while closing down the message. She didn't answer or respond when I apologized for the accidental phone call. The very next day I was gone from all her social media and forms of contact. Her children's birthday presents were still here and so was her thank you gift which I had spent about 6 hours drawing for her.

I had her belated birthday gift as well as a gift for her daughters upcoming birthday. I couldn't use them for anyone else so I packaged them up and delivered them to the reception of her work so they could give them to her. I didn't want to have to face her especially since I already knew she was upset. I know was also struggling with her mental health last week and I think maybe my feelings and actions added to her problems.

Her removing me was her response, when all I ever wanted was for her to say something and I would have stepped back. I always asked if it was OK to do something (like purchase the presents and she never said NO) So I was under the impression that it was still fine. I know that she probably hates my guts right now and I cannot blame her for that, but I just wish she had said something so I knew I was overstepping the boundaries.