FRUSTRATED WITH HIM AND HIS NEEDS

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO ALWAYS BRINGS UP MY PAST (ALTHOUGH IT IS A VERY DISTURBING PAST) HE CONTINUES TO SAY THAT MY PAST WILL ALWAYS BE AN ISSUE WITH US. LET ME START FROM THE BEGINNING. WE MET AT A STRIP CLUB WHERE HE WAS A BOUNCER AND I WAS A DANCER. THAT WAS OVER 2 YEARS AGO. SINCE THEN WE DECIDED TO MOVE IN TOGETHER. AND GROW AS A COUPLE. I HAVE THIS PROBLEM OF ALWAYS HAVING GUYS THAT I TALK TO OVER THE PHONE THEY ARE JJUST FRIENDS AND SOME OF THEM ARE MY EX'S THAT YEA I HAVE SLEPT WITH BUT ALL OF THEM KNOW THAT I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP NOW THAT I AM TOTALLY HAPPY WELL NOT TOTALLY SINCE I AM ON HERE. I JUST WANT HIM TO REALIZE THAT I CAN CHANGE AND THAT HE IS THE ONE THAT I WNAT TO BE WITH. WE HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF SO MANY THINGS LIKE HE SUPPOSIDLY DOES STERIODS AND METH. (I DON'T THINK A GUY THAT IS OVER 300 LBS DOES METH. AND YEA HE DOES HAVE BIG ARMS BUT HE IS MORE OF A BABY THEN I AM WHEN IT COMES TO NEEDLES. ) SO NO HE DON'T DO ANY DRUGS. I HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF MANY THINGS AS WELL. (I.E. A WHORE - YEA I WAS A DANCER AND THAT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT BUT EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THAT I DON'T JUST SLEEP AROUND IT TAKES AT LEAST 2 MONTHS BEFORE I EVEN WANT TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE THAT I AM DATING.) AND A DOPE DEALER I DON'T DO DRUGS SO I WAS TIRED OF PEOPLE SAYING THIS TYPE OF THINGS ABOUT ME SO I WENT OUT ON MY OWN AND PAID FOR AN INDEPENDENT DRUG TEST TO BE DONE AND PAID FOR IT FOR MYSELF. BUT SINCE WE MOVED INTO OUR APARTMENT HERE IN MN WE HAVE BEEN UNDER MORE STRESS AND I HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF THE SEX INDUSTRY AND SO HAS HE AND WE BOTH HAVE REGULAR JOBS AND ARE DOING GREAT AS FAR AS I KNOW. BUT HE CONTINUES TO GO OFF ON ME AND SAY ALL SORTS OF THINGS LIKE CALLING NAMES IF HE THINKS THAT I AM CHEATING ON HIM AND I CAN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS THAT ARE MALE. I GOT A CELL PHONE FROM WORK AND I CAN'T BRING THAT HOME BECAUSE HE THINKS THAT IT IS MY WAY OF COMMUNICATING WITH MEN. I JUST WANT TO GO OUT ONCE IN A WHILE WITH FRIENDS AND HE WON'T EVEN LET ME DO THAT BECAUSE HE THINKS I AM GOING OUT TO MEET MEN AND DANCE WITH EVERYONE THAT HAS A PENIS. I JUST WANT TO GO OUT AND HAVE FUN. I HAVE BEEN TOLD BY HIM MANY TIMES THAT I AM NO GOOD AND THAT I SHOULD JUST LEAVE HE HAS EVEN WRITTEN ON THE WALLS WITH MARKERS AND CRAYONS THAT I AM A WHORE AND A C*** SO MY QUESTION TO EVERYONE IS SINCE I HAVE A GUY THAT I USED TO KNOW AND HAVE BEEN TALKING TO HIM AND I AM TIRED OF STILL TRYING TO WORK ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BF SHOULD I JUST MOVE ON????

CONFUSED

M.S.

It is unacceptable for your boyfriend to control you, your choice in friends, and your activities. And it is ABUSIVE that he calls you a whore and a c*** (and writing it on the walls?? How nuts is that?!). It sounds like you have been through a lot together, but men who are posessive and aggressive - which sounds like your man - and unable to trust the women they are with often accelerate. Next time he gets mad, will he just yell at you, or strike you? Do you really want to live your life being unable to decide what friends you have and what activities you partake in? In my opinion, this relationship is heading dangerous places, and it would be in your best interest to get out as quickly and peacefully as possible. Very sorry that things have turned out this way, hon.