In love with a friend / coworker she doesn't feel the same.

Hi,

Three months ago i move to another country to start a new job and i met this girl. We work together but she's not my boss and I'm not hers.
From the beginning she was super nice and with time we started to spend more time together, going out to dinner the two of us alone..., staying in the office to watch a movie after work some Fridays..., she calls me sunshine sometimes...
She has always stated that we're only friends and nothing else, and i felt the same way although i've always found her very attractive.
At first i thought i was only sexually attracted to her and i thought i could control it, but with time my feelings for her have grown.
I started noticing this change on my feelings when she broke up with her boyfriend a couple of weeks ago and called me crying in the middle of the night because she wanted some company, even if it was only on the phone, but i offer to go to her place and stay with her. We spent the rest of the night talking and slept in the same bed although nothing else happened. Next day we spent it together walking around and talking about everything, i started feeling a connection with her that i haven't feel in a very very long time...
She started asking me if i wanted to stay with her and keep her company so i stayed at her place 2 or 3 more nights, same deal, talking, sleeping in the same bed but nothing else, she has always been clear with me that she's not attracted to me and i accept that.

I've never told her anything because i think it is not fair for her to bring this up at the moment.The thing is i can't stop thinking about her, we still talk every day at work and after, although this last week we have been a little more distant from each other.
It's been more than 13 years since i had any kind of relationship with a girl and now i can't stop thinking of her, wishing that she writes me, a little jealous if i think of her having sex with others, (she has no problem talking with me about that), she's the first thing in my head when i wake up and the last when i go to bed...
I know i need to stop thinking of her but i don't know how, and it hurts a lot when i get home alone and realize nothing is going to happen, some part of me still hopes that her feelings change..., i really thought that we could have a future, she has everything i like in a girl and i don't know if i will find that again.

I think it is time you probably talked to her about what is going on inside of you. And then make changes based on what each of you is able to do to find the right kind of relationship (if you can). I know this is easier said than done but things need to start to evolve. You really sound like you're in pain.

I get like this and the only way I can move on is to move onto someone else... and hopefully that person likes me back.

It's been almost a month since I opened this thread and i thought I could get over her and just have a friendship with her, but last week on Thursday she had a date with another guy and I felt kind of jealous to be honest, then on Saturday she messaged me that she had spent the night with another guy but in the morning was weird. When i asked her why, she answered me telling me how they had sex and spent the night together and then the next morning they had coffee and had sex again and that the guy came but she didn't and that she thought that he would take care of her but he didn't...

I don't know how to explain how that message made me feel, i started crying and feeling desperate, and even started hyperventilating.

The thing is that at that moment knew that i had to talk to her, i think i realized that it was more than a sexual attraction. I talked to her last Monday and explained everything, that i found her very attractive and that i don't know if i'm in love with her, obsessed or sexually attracted to her and that i needed time to clear my head.
I think that went well, she understood and we've been keeping our distance since then, no messages and little contact because we have not been at the office at the same time until yesterday, and then, when i saw her there, everything came back. I couldn't believe how beautiful she is and how much i like her so i started feeling jealous that she could like the new guy that join the company a week ago and put me aside...

I don't wanna feel this way, i don't want to worry about this things, i want her to live her life and i want to live mine, but i don't know how to stop thinking of her and worrying about this nonsense imaginations of mine.
What can i do to make this stop? I don't want to feel jealous or whatever when i think that she's going to fell for another guy.

I don't think there is anything you can do to stop cold turkey, especially because you are going to see her at work. I think it was a good thing you stopped the messages. It might be best that you don't contact each other outside of work or in any way that doesn't concern work.

If you can try dating that would really help. Naturally, you should date only to stop thinking about her but it's clear you want to love someone.

You also need to make sure she doesn't contact you. She should help you through this by making sure she does what you need her to, in this case, maybe not contacting you.