Breaking up when you love one another

How do you let go when you both love one another? Better question is, how do you decide if its right? My GF and I are both in our mid 40’s and we just had our one-year anniversary. We both love one another very much and are best friends. When we met on our first date it was instant comfort, laughing, which last 4 hrs. After our 3rd date she flew across the county to even spend time with my family for thanksgiving. Her kids love me and both of our families adore everyone, so it all seems like all the pros should lineup for a long term future. We have never had a fight at all until the other night. Although it was petty, it did create a long open talk between us that led to questions, our desires, our fears. One being she got out of a really bad marriage a few years ago with a narcissist who has left her with the fear of ever being in a marriage again. While I do want to get to get married, a piece of paper is not going to stop me if that is the case, but it did come out that even the fact of even living with anyone makes her feel trapped and she does not want to go through the same thing as her ex. This is tough to process as I know that I can’t continue with this forever for a hope of that may change. Where I am trapped is know we are just alike, we totally get each other, literally laugh every day, and it all aligns but this one thing. I could go on and on about all the pros of who we are together and how we feel. I did leave it as “I am not your ex and I can’t carry the burden on my shoulders to convince you that”. So now are at a cross road and just processing it but trying to build the strength to just rip the band aid off and move on.

Hi ctlguy,

Here is what I understood of your story:
You are both in your mid 40, you met one year ago and are very good together.
What I didn't understand is : do you live far from each other?

Is there a necessity to marry and live together now?

Philonoe wrote:Hi ctlguy,

Here is what I understood of your story:
You are both in your mid 40, you met one year ago and are very good together.
What I didn't understand is : do you live far from each other?

Is there a necessity to marry and live together now?

We live 15min from one another. I was fine with the way things are and its comfortable. She finally broke up with me because she state she cant give me what I want and we are in different places in our lives.

Hard part is I have done a lot of reflecting and having a piece of paper is not as important, BUT in time I would like to spend the rest my life with someone. The thought of that to her right now makes her feel uncomfortable.

I'm sorry for you ctlguy