girlfriend flirting with someone else

Hi,
I will try to be brief.
I am 46, my gf is a 37 single mom (2 kids)...few months ago she went to a bachelorette party (in a club) with some girls, i found out that she ended up flirting and dancing with some young guy of 21. Before i find out she told that some guy came to her, talked to her while she was dancing, but she refused and sent him away. I found out that she danced with him, i confronted her with this, and said "yeah, i forgot, we danced a little bit, few seconds, but that's it", and she swore that it was it. After 2 months i was able to get some videos made at that club, and i saw that she danced somehow in an intimate way with him, several times, and spoke and laughed several times, and at some point she danced with him on the table, also in an intimate way (when i say intimate, i didn't see any kissing, but intimate position).
I confronted her again with this and she said that simply she forgot about that dancing on the table, because she drank too much that night, and the reason that she danced with him because we had a big fight that day and she just wanted to forget.
1- I am not sure if i can tolerate and accept the dancing and flirting part
2- I sure can not accept the lying. The idea is, whatever happens we can talk about it, even if we end up cheating, we can discuss it, so i don't understand why she still insists on lying.
I am not sure if what i wrote makes any sense to you. But i appreciate your advices.
Thanks in advance

Hey joe,

I have no specific advice, just some thoughts.

Relationships are not about absolute right/wrong, just what works for the two people involved. I think it's fine that you feel she over-stepped what you are okay with. What I will write though is for your sake, please be wise in weighing the whole situation out. I am going to use a bad analogy, but maybe it will help?

If your car breaks down after a few years, most people won't throw their car away. They will fix what is wrong, and enjoy many more years. Yes, that seems like a terrible analogy, but if you've had an otherwise good relationship, weigh that too. People make mistakes, all of us eventually.

As for the lying part, yes, people do lie sometimes to avoid. Not ideal, but people are not always ideal.

The main thing I'm trying to get at is if you are overall happy with her, be careful about tossing that happiness aside for this one event. Now if it was happening over and over, that is a different matter.