My commitment issues are absolutely ludicrous!

I’m damn near 30 and I’ve never been in a romantic relationship longer than a month. Whenever I get with someone I immediately start deducing all the ways it will end. Even though I get lonely and sexually frustrated from it I can’t bring myself to stop doing. It has gotten to a point where I bought myself a sex doll for the purposes of sexual release with absolutely zero human attachment...and one week later I find myself thinking of all the ways getting caught with it will ruin me and how to hide/dispose of it.

I’ve always thought I was an aromantic, but this is something else. Something I don’t like. What the hell is wrong with me?

Really only you know what it is that's keeping you at a distance from others. We could guess at some of the common reasons people avoid relationships, but yea, we'd just be guessing. Understood that you may not consciously know either. We people can hide ourselves from ourselves. This is the kind of question a therapist can be very helpful with.

That written, has anyone else said anything, what was their perception why?