Why is my wife so grumpy ?

We've been married for over 7 years and have 3 children between us. I have a 19 year old and she has a 14 year old, and we have a 7 year old. My wife works hard during the week and is often doing work emails in the evening. She is also away for work maybe a couple of times a month for work. At the weekends, our 14 and 7 year olds have sporting activities but my wife seems happier for me to run them around while my wife sits at home playing games on her phone and generally not doing anything at home. We have a cleaner and I do all the washing, ironing and cooking. My wife does little herself. She suffers from fybromyalgia and has frequent headaches, sometimes bad enough to confine her to bed. I work flexibly but i can be out on and off Monday to Saturday, day or evening/ night. Some may say she is grumpy because of exhaustion which I can't deny, but it happens a lot and even after she has slept for maybe 10 hours. She doesn't show much affection but can respond occasionally if I show her affection. I ask her why but she says it isn't something she just does ! She seems to take pleasure in disagreeing with me about things and can be abrupt bordering on condesending. Her father is very similar. I soldier on in the hope she will improve, and sometimes she can be in a very good mood ! Currently until yesterday, she bairly said a word to me for about 3 days and before that she was grumpy for another few days. She has said in the past she doesn't understand why I'm with her and I wouldn't be surprised if she still things that. It crosses my mind to leave her but I know that is not the right thing to do and in truth, I think she can't do without me, yet is grumpy towards me.

Any advice would be nice to hear.

It's hard to know.

Headaches can cause people to be grumpy, but sometimes it's just a bad habit (a habit with pay offs) including -

* Obtain sympathy
* Control (people tend to walk on egg shells around the grumpy, and empathetic people tend to react)
* Just plain old I forgot how to be happy
* Etc

It's unfortunate too that couples can end up becoming grumpy with each other over time.

Than you for your reply.

Agree with the" control" part. My father in law seems to have similar problems with my mother in law as he's always saying everything has to be done my mother in law's way ! She can't bear to be excluded from anything and wants to know about everything, even getting involved in things going on that don't concern her.

I think most of it boils down to huge insecurity on my wife's part, who gets it from her mother !

My father in law left the family home about 35 years ago when my wife was about 12 years old following an affair. He was gone 6 months but things were worked out and he returned and was forgiven by my mother in law. Can't help thinking though this had a huge detrimental effect on my wife. I may be wrong.