Confused and heartbroken by Personal Trainer

I signed up with a Personal Trainer 3 months ago and we connected almost immediately. I see him at training almost every day and we went out to breakfast, lunch and dinner a few times. He feeds me his food asking me to try it, offers me his drink, swapped his drink for mine when I didn’t like what I ordered, gives me long tight hugs, kisses me on my cheeks, scooping my face in his hands and kisses me on my forehead, say things to me like, ‘don’t push me away, I am here for you’, ‘I am taking down the wall brick by brick and you are building it up again’, ‘I will always need you in my life’, etc - all sweet words and I am totally falling for him but he told me today he only treat me as friends, nothing more, nothing less. When I challenged him on his behaviour towards me, the intimate moments we shared, he said he is a free spirit, open to things like this and does not mean anything more than friends. I bought his a watch 2 weeks ago, he has been wearing it everyday, ever since. He said he will always be my friends regardless and asked to continue this friendship with him. I am hurting terribly feeling stupid to have fall for him, being misled by him, please help me, how to get over him? Is this how guys behave in general? Can any guys out there tell me this is a norm and it is me being stupid and misunderstood the meaning of his behaviour? Please advice. Will be grateful for any advice or insights.

Hi Spaghettidonna,

His behavior is not normal. Honestly, from what you wrote, he sounds very manipulative.

I do think your reaction is normal. You reacted based on what you saw, how you were treated, and it is understandable that you developed feelings.

Unfortunately, there are some people out there who use emotions like a game. They play on other's emotions. They can be very charming. I guess it's an ego boost for them to put on these shows of affection, to win someone over, just to prove to themselves that they can. It's very possible that is the person he really is.

I don't know of any quick way to get over it, but speaking about this with others may help.

Question for you to ponder (it needs no answer, the question is for you) -

If someone had told you, watch out around this person, they play games, would you have believed them, or done the same thing? I ask just because sometimes we just can't see manipulation clearly until after we have experienced it.

Hi spaghettidonna, your name is hinting that you are italian. Am I wrong?
How old are you and how old is he?

How xdude said probably he is just playing with you. He likes the fact that you are so emotionally connected with him, this feed his pride as a man. But he doesn't seem want to have something serious with you.

Now now, what I'm saying is not sure, but in a scenario like this he probably is just looking for fun; maybe you will be able to get kisses and sex from him, but probably then he will want his time just for himself, he will spend time with you when he will be interested in doing it and probably he will meet other girls.
Anyway this doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you, just not that much. Now it is on you... don't think that you can change him.

Thank you so much, xdude and guess what for your kind advice and it does makes sense now you both has explained in this way. I am truly grateful and now I know what I need to do. I will cut all ties. No, I am Chinese and he is 24. Embarrassingly, I am 34, I should have known better but he is really charming, caring and I now see that he is manipulating me all along. Thank you again, it has helped me immensely but still the heartache will need time to heal.