I have no expectations from other people

Hey,

So just coming home from my psychologist with a new discovery which keeps being on my mind. Basically, I told him about a few new developments in my life, one which involved the death of a pet, and some even "worst" things that are going on in my relationship with my girlfriend.

While, on the theoretical part, the relationship stuff should've been way heavier (wasn't really close to the animal or something), while storytelling, he noticed that: When talking about the animal I was describing a lot of personal emotion, was really emotionally involved in it but while telling him about the relationship I didn't mention a personal emotion at all.

The only emotions I can remember I felt are love and fear of losing her. I didn't really feel anything else: disappointment, anger, fury, whatever else normal emotions you are supposed to feel. I don't have abandonment issues, my childhood was happy etc.

What I did notice tho, and have been told (even by my best friend) is that I don't have expectation from people. While it does indeed make you happier and suffer less, it also makes others think you don't care about them. Also, it seems I tend to forgive extremely fast and not mind things that usually get people to get into fights.

My question is: could this lack of expectations be causing my "distancing" / "lack of anger/resentment/etc" towards people? And how can I start having expectations from people without going to the other extreme of too high expectations?

Hey taigi100,

Just a 90 degree question, because it doesn't seem you are causing others any harm.

Are you happy as-is?

You know if we take polls of our lives, it's a sure thing that someone is going to find something wrong, but then if you change for them, someone else will be unhappy too.

Ironic too because your 'zen' outlook on relationships is the very thing some others are striving/wishing to achieve in theirs.

Hey xdude,

While I might think I'm happy as this, but I don't think I am.
Thing is, being like this I'm missing out on a lot of emotions of life, I'm very distant from people and can't become truly vulnerable around them. This might be good for most "people" but I'd really wish to become as vulnerable as possible emotionally to a significant other.

I feel that lacking this behaviour, not being able to actually have a fight and stand up for myself in delicate situations with close people, avoiding conflict and so on just makes me lose. The only way I know how to stand up for myself is with strangers and that's literally beating the **** out of them and that only applies to males

I believe I need to start to figure out what my needs are and get mad/angry when they are not met by close people. I don't want to fall into the other extreme of being too angry, but I think I need a bit of it in order to find some balance.

Hey tagi,

Confrontation, anger, competition, etc., are all possibilities if you express your deeper needs/wants. So are appreciation, acceptance, cooperation.

What feels like a reasonable next step?