Angry with women and others

I'm kinda frustrated in full time. I can do strong sport or any of that, nothing changed.

You will feel frustrated. But it is not your fault. Media pushes the belief that one at a certain age needs a partner and must lose their virginity. Most young people end up thinking this to be the way. You will feel sad to see how others are having fun. Trust me, it is not how things are in their lives. Only when it comes to finally deciding to marry that past of theirs turn into horror.

I was... i just did a mistake. Everybody does, everybody is still doing it. And sometimes I think, and many people said to me (even some of her friends), that the bigger mistake was saying to her.
It was the right thing to do, but we were just at the start, I had guilty feelings, I knew I did wrong; and I've been treated like a criminal while I see people that cheat on their boy/girlfriends continuously and they are looked are the best of good people, with just "they are like this"

I am guessing that you kissed the other girl because those other people didn’t treat cheating to be anything wrong? The truth is that although society tries to make it look like we all are same, inside the four walls we are individuals with feelings. Majority of the people will never tell their friends how they were treated by their significant other at home or in private when it comes to cheating and all. It is something that will always be frowned upon. Who wants their reputation to be dented?

I don't say anything that everybody in my situation would not think.
You think i'm here and i have bad times due the way i think; but it's the opposite.
Being egoist right now I'm thinking to the best for me. Not to step on others, but just because I realized that if I don't think about that nobody does.

Be careful about following the society. As I said earlier, we are all individuals with feelings. When we don’t hear the heart today ‘s heaven changes into tomorrow’s hell.

Thanks.
Neither with not better men, so for them, is worthing to aspire to the best. .
Of course they will not "stop" at her, but they are anyway a better prize.

There is no fun in having a temporary prize. Majority of the women regret later.

Yeah, money too.
But I would like to be loved for what I am and what I can offer as a person. Not for what I have.

There are too many virgins among students of law and medicine/STEM.

What?

I was hinting serious relationship.

Like "don't drive 'cause cars can kill"

There are more heartbroken people than those killed in car accidents.

Sorry but this makes nonsense.

Then why not hire a prostitute? Or maybe wait till you become a legal bar goer? If you hang out there till the closing time you will easily get a woman to ask you to go home with her.

A lot of us men feel this way, and though we may feel pressure to prove something when we are younger, I agree with this sentiment.

Main thing is to be true to ourselves. Life has enough pressure without us pressuring ourselves to be what we aren't.

That's true. Most men aren't doing it from the heart. You people should start suing those who pressure you. It is actually sexual harassment.

No emotional connection, no interest in sex for me. I am content now to just accept this is my nature, and don't care what others do so long as it doesn't negatively affect me. I also accept that some others can have sex without any connection, and that works for them.

I used to have no judgement either until we friends married and I ended up in healthcare. It is crazy that no one is talking about how psychology dramatically changes after marriage. I was shocked to see the sudden flipping of our society also. It starts to tag premarital sex mistake. It converts the experience into sexual baggage and give no help to those who are struggling in the marriage because of their past.

lensen wrote:Most young people end up thinking this to be the way. You will feel sad to see how others are having fun. Trust me, it is not how things are in their lives. Only when it comes to finally deciding to marry that past of theirs turn into horror.

It is crazy that no one is talking about how psychology dramatically changes after marriage. I was shocked to see the sudden flipping of our society also. It starts to tag premarital sex mistake. It converts the experience into sexual baggage and give no help to those who are struggling in the marriage because of their past.

What do you mean by all this? Why would one's past turn into a horror in a marriage? And in what way is society tagging premarital sex a mistake?
I've never heard of a case of someone being denied professional help due to having a sexual past. Do you by society mean some kind of a religious institution?

The fact is that i have not the power to choice.
Own you virginity. Sure, no problem, i'm forced to it. Lol
If thinking about other things would be the answer, the problem would not even exist.
Plus we are talking about an important side of social life and human comunication.
Probably football doesn't fit me as well, but i don't care lol cause it is not important in life, it is not important for me.

So, i read a lot about guys who followed the "don't mind about it" rule and all of them regret it, cause they are 37 yo now and still virgin.
If today i will die? End of all with this thing to regret.
And then, saving myself for someone special; and that someone special can be disappointed about my performance.

But we are not talking about having sex itself. Just being loved or appreciated at least.. i am not at all, that's it.

I will answer to you others then, guys, sorry.

GuessWhat wrote:The fact is that i have not the power to choice.
Own you virginity. Sure, no problem, i'm forced to it. Lol

Don't own anything lol. What you focus on is what ends up defining you.
I was miserable after a break-up and was spending my days in a darkened room listening to Smiths and drinking gin. Until a friend pulled me out and took to some random club we'd never been in. Think I was still in my pyjamas (was probably mistaken for a hipster outfit) and carrying a bottle. The friend told me it's an obligational game and the rules are - I get assigned a random guy they pick and must approach and kiss them. The sober me would rather flee the country than do it, but the gin and the misery and the taste of mascara in my tears lol made me accept as I was already drowning in this self-pitying-wanting-to-reach-bottom indifference. There were no stakes and I couldn't care less what some stranger's reaction would be. Won't talk of results of my escapade as it doesn't relate to topic here. But it was a sort of a-taking up a role that is not natural to me but still going through it-experience. Not saying you should go kissing random people. What I'm saying is - moving out of your comfort zone and practice can help you. Will toughen you up. At approaching and seducing women. And everything else. You do have a choice. To think you have no choice in a world of 7 billion people is insane.
A certain percentage of guys out there are natural charmers, most probably aren't and simply learn through experience. Same as with driving or a piano.
(expecting now lensen to say i should have saved those kisses for marriage)

bobok wrote:

lensen wrote:Most young people end up thinking this to be the way. You will feel sad to see how others are having fun. Trust me, it is not how things are in their lives. Only when it comes to finally deciding to marry that past of theirs turn into horror.

It is crazy that no one is talking about how psychology dramatically changes after marriage. I was shocked to see the sudden flipping of our society also. It starts to tag premarital sex mistake. It converts the experience into sexual baggage and give no help to those who are struggling in the marriage because of their past.

What do you mean by all this? Why would one's past turn into a horror in a marriage? And in what way is society tagging premarital sex a mistake?

Too many to mention. I'll just give you some:

Sexless marriage doesn't work, but that's what people end up with after premarital sex. It is the 5th most common reason for divorce. What we found out was that once men and women get used to it, they struggle with arousal in the marriage. "Seen it before, did it before" ideology just doesn't work between spouses.

I've never heard of a case of someone being denied professional help due to having a sexual past.

Where did I say this? My accounts are based on professional help actually.

Do you by society mean some kind of a religious institution?

Religion has nothing to do with it. The truth is that the more we study the more we find out that there are too many frauds behind the launch of sexual revolution. By far only Sue Ellen Browder confessed to brainwashing the masses about it while Kinsey's studies turned out to be fake.

The fact is that i have not the power to choice.
Own you virginity. Sure, no problem, i'm forced to it. Lol
If thinking about other things would be the answer, the problem would not even exist.
Plus we are talking about an important side of social life and human comunication.
Probably football doesn't fit me as well, but i don't care lol cause it is not important in life, it is not important for me.

We have been there. Agree that it is hard not to think. But this is also true that the more you make yourself capable in other areas of your life, the better chance you will have in getting attractive females. There are more virgin men than women actually. Many get away from the pressure by lying that they were not virgin. It apparently works.

So, i read a lot about guys who followed the "don't mind about it" rule and all of them regret it, cause they are 37 yo now and still virgin.

I don't think people from STEM and law have much time to tell how they feel about staying virgin. But I guess you would agree that because of their professions they can easily get women to settle down with.

If today i will die? End of all with this thing to regret.

It is much worse to handle a breakup.

And then, saving myself for someone special; and that someone special can be disappointed about my performance.

Don't fall for that performance thing. In fact, you should not be with someone who says that to you. It is actually quite demeaning because the person is comparing you with their past partners. Secondly, it is messed up if someone tells you to do what you did with other people. It signals low self respect, impatience and unwilling to be your friend.

Sex is expression of love. It will come naturally to you when you fall in love with your special someone.

Females, look away if this triggers you...

GuessWhat wrote:So, i read a lot about guys who followed the "don't mind about it" rule and all of them regret it, cause they are 37 yo now and still virgin.

There are two versions of this "don't mind about it" rule. Depends which one you latch unto.

There is the I'm gonna be a puppy dog, and maybe someone will love me version, and there is the "I am a LION" and Lion's are loners who make their own way version.

GuessWhat wrote:I will answer to you others then, guys, sorry.

Okay step one, for the LION is you aren't a Lioness, and it's not your job to figure out what they are going through (they are going through their own struggles, but all that's important is you figure out what you need).

What do you want as a LION? Assume you will be achieving your wants on your own, What do you want?

I know a girl who uses tinder for her dates. And she is slightly under the average for her look (she is the first to admit it), i don't know if she has a job but i think No. Anyway, she has not issue to get pretty guys on this site, and these guys said to her that they has almost never found someone.
So, if pretty guys can't get girls, how many chance do i have?

lensen wrote:You will feel frustrated. But it is not your fault.

I will look like a braggart but I know it is not my fault.
I'm just asking for something that everybody have, everybody can give it. I'm not asking for the life of a porn actor. Just a normal sentimental life.
It is proven that when this is lacking, human behaviour can only go worse.

lensen wrote:I am guessing that you kissed the other girl because those other people didn’t treat cheating to be anything wrong?

Probably. One of them is the one who said that I did wrong saying to the girl that i cheated on her.

The truth is that although society tries to make it look like we all are same, inside the four walls we are individuals with feelings. Majority of the people will never tell their friends how they were treated by their significant other at home or in private when it comes to cheating and all. It is something that will always be frowned upon. Who wants their reputation to be dented?

I don't understand this part.

I don't say anything that everybody in my situation would not think.
You think i'm here and i have bad times due the way i think; but it's the opposite.
Being egoist right now I'm thinking to the best for me. Not to step on others, but just because I realized that if I don't think about that nobody does.

Be careful about following the society. As I said earlier, we are all individuals with feelings. When we don’t hear the heart today ‘s heaven changes into tomorrow’s hell.

sorry, I don't understand what this have anything to do with what i said again

There is no fun in having a temporary prize. Majority of the women regret later.

They regret just for the fact that they will discover those men don't care at all.
While I showed a lot that I cared about her and she was just playing around.

I was hinting serious relationship.

It is what i want. I just did a mistake, for inexperience, just because i didn't have chances in the past.

Then why not hire a prostitute?

Prostitutes don't care about you.

xdude wrote:Females, look away if this triggers you...

You don't say anything offensive.

xdude wrote:

GuessWhat wrote:So, i read a lot about guys who followed the "don't mind about it" rule and all of them regret it, cause they are 37 yo now and still virgin.

There are two versions of this "don't mind about it" rule. Depends which one you latch unto.

There is the I'm gonna be a puppy dog, and maybe someone will love me version, and there is the "I am a LION" and Lion's are loners who make their own way version.

Both of them doesn't work.
I don't believe that self confidence can help at all in this. Not that much at least.
Ugly guys don't get girls just for their strong behaviour, take it from me. I saw a lot of this situations with my own eyes.

Oh, the puppy dog version is always the most chosen. Of course it is, if a guy have a girl just once evey 3 years, it is normal that he will act as the most convenient guy, when he find a girl who seem getting along with him.
Being full of yourself doesn't help, girls go away and when you ask why they will say " 'cause you are too full of yourself"

Of course the truth is that they were never interested in you for real. Or just get tired.

xdude wrote:

GuessWhat wrote:I will answer to you others then, guys, sorry.

Okay step one, for the LION is you aren't a Lioness, and it's not your job to figure out what they are going through (they are going through their own struggles, but all that's important is you figure out what you need).

??

xdude wrote:What do you want as a LION? Assume you will be achieving your wants on your own, What do you want?

Just having my girlfriend, Being happy with her and make her happy, being the source of part of her happiness. I worked well enough once for 2 weeks, why can't i have a chance again?

I think you'll find that both men and women change over the years, including the type of others they choose. You are young, and you are right to perceive that at your age looks, and appearances drive a lot of people. But really, people do change in their priorities.

Still, many women say that the most attractive trait is confidence. There is something to that. Doesn't necessarily mean being over-the-top cocky, but there is something between the extremes. Embracing your inner lion is just a mindset, an attitude, to improve your own life. It doesn't mean you have to turn into a self-involved jerk

Yeah, they do.. and i think that will make things worse, but I don't want to talk about it right now.

They talk about confidence, but they want the good looking man, if then he is timid they just "make him more brave".
I think that mine is not even a fear to be worthless, most an awareness. I mean, come on, if I don't lack anything important, i wouldn't have spent 22 years alone.
Still if I write girls online, they don't even answer me.
I'm sorry, maybe I was looking for help here, but probably mine was kinda an outburst. I realized to be worthless for girls since 2 years ago, things still not changed. Maybe they never will change, and i can't accept it.

GuessWhat wrote:They talk about confidence, but they want the good looking man, if then he is timid they just "make him more brave".

I'm sorry but it's simply not true. You just don't want it to be confidence you're lacking as it's something you hold the power over and could work on, how easier it is to say 'it's my appearance, nothing I can do about it'.
Appearance is 35% of what most people look for in a relationship. On its own is absolutely useless, what am I supposed to do with 'only pretty' after initial few months of blind in-loveness, keep it in a museum? To be in a relationship is so-much-more than having something pretty to look at and you stripping your failures down to 'girls wanting solely attractive boys' is nothing but blame externalization and a misogynistic attempt of stripping women down to brainless superficiality in order to cater to your own fragile ego. It's you who is projecting your own superficiality and appearance obsession to a whole gender (take a look at your initial post and notice your choice of words in describing people).
Here are numerous other traits people also want in a relationship and which are possible to improve/develop:
http://ideonomy.mit.edu/essays/traits.html
Have 5% of this list and you'll do more than fine.
To think your appearance is your main issue is your actual issue.
Think I'm done with this thread. Good luck.