Think my wife is nuts

13 years 4 kids later up and downs like any other relationship. I'll try and make this short and sweet. I was addicted to opiets for 3 years she loved me told me it was destroying our marriage I continued abusing. She found a younger man left me and took the kids moved in with the guy, they lost their apartment with in 3 or so months begged to come back pregnant and I took her back with really no issues I felt responsible for the situation. She came back but stayed in contact with this kid the entire time he moved back with his parents. She eventually left me again with my kids to live with him and his parents two weeks later he beat the newborn baby so cps got involved she moved back until he got released from jail then went back to him leaving me and my kids. Another month goes by they get into a domestic altercation over her lieing to him and stealing from the parents. I pick her up take her to the homeless shelter where two weeks later she meets a new guy and now she's engaged and pregnant again. Wtf? I have full custody of my 4 kids and she just relinquished the rights to her new baby so now it's in foster care. Any insight is she mentally ill?

how old is your wife and how old are the guys that impregnated her? have you discussed a mental exam with her? i don't think anything she did could be classified as a mental illness but the motivation for doing it could be due to a mental problem.

i would suggest you in a lovingly manner discuss with her. she did not commit a crime unless her boyfriend was underage. there no way to force a mental health examination based on her actions.

She's 31 I was in a hurry and I'm useing my phone sorry for the lack in detail the whole situation is confusing and like a bad trio on LSD! My wife is 31 he was 26 I will try to give more detail in the situation. So I was addicted to pain pills I neglected her she took our 4 kids left me in a bad situation, fine I deserved it learned the issue is she lasted 3 months with this 26 year old came back promised change but obviously never had the intention of change she continued the relationship for 7 or so months behind my back then she eventually moved in with the 26 year old and parents with my 4 kids and her new baby she had with the 26 year old. 2 or 3 weeks leaving me yet again the 26 year old beat their child severely and slapped my youngest across the face so child services got involved and I received my kids back in my custody. He went to jail she stayed in contact after moving back in with me, when he was released from jail she left me and our kids to be with him thus lasted a little under two months they both went to jail for domestic violence guess the kid couldn't handle her lieing and manipulation so she calls me from jail and I pick her up take her to a homeless shelter provide her transportation. She hooks up with another guy at a therapy session in less then a month pregnant and engaged in less then 2 months. I've gained full custody of my kids and she relinquished custody rights to their child. I'm sooo like.. it's nuts... I would see what anyone thinks.

Hey methodburns,

I want to suggest another way to look at what is going on -

So you have been honest about what happened from your side, the addiction, and that during that time you neglected her. It happens, and it appears you are improving your life now.

Okay so there are endless ways she could have reacted, but I am going to give a few stereotypical examples -

1.) Continue to support you, and the relationship you two shared.
2.) Leave, and spend some time just getting her own life together.
3.) Leave, and pursue a new stable relationship.
4.) Leave, and purse meaningless/risky relationships.

I greatly over simplified, but for a reason.

She had a lot of range of choices, and her action/choice does tell you something about her character, who she is, what is important to her. Her character is not dependent on what you did, or didn't do. You aren't responsible for her personality, her nature, what she chooses, etc.

You know you could have done better, and perhaps she never saw it coming that you'd become addicted, but that is something you can and are dealing with.

Her part is still her part.

And the biggy - it's the hard times in life that reveal who we (and others) really are.