Family friends that are friends with my enemies

I don't know if I'm posting this to the right thread.
We used to have family friends/acquaintances who lived close by and they'd stop by every once in a while. They are very friendly people and know most in our neighborhood. They are also very chatty and like to give out info to others about other people( they don't keep things to themselves). They also don't like living by the rule and sometimes break rules in the neighborhood to suit them, which isn't really our business. Well, they had been friends with another couple in our neighborhood who lives next door to us, and whom we only knew by face and said hi to each other.
Well, their friends (the couple) started harassing us and doing nuisances and deliberate things to frighten and annoy us. We were being watched and harassed constantly. After enduring it for months, we finally had to call the police. After that, they started calling the police on us for things we did not do, or saying we were making noise ( in our own home) at normal hours, and so on...we couldn't be home without finding the police at our door.

Well, we told our "friends" about this and they did nothing (they are friends with them, after all).
It reached a point where I feared for my safety and my family's safety, so we decided that we'd have to move or we'll never feel safe or feel free. I started having insomnia, anxiety, and other health and psychological problems that I continue to battle (some of them) to this day.

Even as we were moving, they'd stare at us and go outside to watch us smugly while we packed our belongings in our car. It was a very scary and traumatizing period in my life that I'd never want to relive.

Now, after moving, I refuse to see the family friends or even visit them. I don't want them to know of our plans and how we live, out of fear. It also brings back painful and traumatizing memories. I can't be friends with them anymore..I don't want them to know where we live out of fear they'll tell our harassers. My significant other does not like that I don't associate with them anymore and he doesn't know many people in our area, so he wanted to keep those as friends.

Anyway, we needed a favor and my SO thought of asking them and I refused. Now, anytime we get stuck with a dilemma we don't know how to fix, he reminds me that I put him in this position, since he can't ask his "friend" for favors or a question. Anytime we plan things by ourselves and things don't go as planned, he reminds me it's because I want to do everything "alone" and by ourselves without depending on others.

I didn't want things to be this way with these friends ( they are more like friendly acquaintances to me, but my SO liked to keep in strong contact with them, so we can have friends to turn to in times of need. He doesn't agree with lots of things they do, but he doesn't care )
Am I wrong in cutting those friends off? Would you stay friends with a friend of an enemy? Is my way of thinking wrong?
Thanks in advance for any help.

i think that you were wrong to move. you should have kept a log of their harassment and prosecuted them. but that's done with now.

of your husband, ask him if he is going to be personally responsible for these friends not telling your enemies where you now live and forcing you to move again. that will at least make him think a bit.

candidly, as far as i'm concerned, friends that don't help you when you really need them are what are termed 'fair weather friends', or put another way not friends at all.

i had such a friend when i was unfairly dismissed. they wouldn't even write me a reference. i told them point blank that i wouldn't be keeping in touch with them. admittedly, i was really angry. i'd known them the whole 20 years that i'd worked for my former employer. and in my hour of need they just turned their back on me. i can't say that i really regret what i did.

Thank you for your reply. I did keep a log and the police were not interested in seeing it or even looking at videos of their harassment. There was no other choice but to move. It cost us lots of money, wasted time, and trouble, which made me resent the whole trauma even more and everyone involved in it who turned their backs on us or a blind eye.

Anyway, it hurts to even remember this.

shock_the_monkey wrote:i think that you were wrong to move. you should have kept a log of their harassment and prosecuted them. but that's done with now.
.

dawnf wrote:Thank you for your reply. I did keep a log and the police were not interested in seeing it or even looking at videos of their harassment. There was no other choice but to move. It cost us lots of money, wasted time, and trouble, which made me resent the whole trauma even more and everyone involved in it who turned their backs on us or a blind eye.

Anyway, it hurts to even remember this.

... without wanting to rub salt into the wound, in the UK there's a police complaints commission (PCC) that investigates such failings. i've no idea whether such a body exists where you are.

You and your spouse moved on, so you two can start a fresh chapter with new friends. Start by joining a church, local club pertaining to your interests, or adult classes to find such friends. Time to put that past in the rear view mirror...

Thanks for the help. I don't know if there is such a commission in the US., but I really try to avoid any complaints against police.

... without wanting to rub salt into the wound, in the UK there's a police complaints commission (PCC) that investigates such failings. i've no idea whether such a body exists where you are.

-- Wed Apr 25, 2018 9:39 pm --

Thank you. That's what I'm trying to do. I wish my spouse felt the same:(

realityhere wrote:You and your spouse moved on, so you two can start a fresh chapter with new friends. Start by joining a church, local club pertaining to your interests, or adult classes to find such friends. Time to put that past in the rear view mirror...

dawnf,

You may have to do it without the SO, after all you should try to build a network outside of your partnership anyway. Your intimate relationship should not be the one and only fallback you have.

dawnf wrote:Thanks for the help. I don't know if there is such a commission in the US., but I really try to avoid any complaints against police.

... you're probably not familiar with the stephen lawrence inquiry. i'll say one thing of the british: we have a very acute sense of justice.