Girlfriend wants an open relationship

Philonoe wrote:Well,

- he needs to talks about his relationship issues and she is present

- she goes with an other guy and she tells everything

It seems to me that each one needs own space.

One might argue it's healthier to include the girlfriend when discussing relationship issues with anonymous online folk. Personally I'd be a bit scared by a lack of personal space here, but believe it's a matter of personal preference. Seems like it works for them.

Philonoe wrote:Many people here : blazingcouch, the girlfriend, shanzeek

Getting crowded.

If I'm gonna be perfectly honest, I think the issue here is that one person wants an open relationship, and the other doesn't but is too afraid to speak one's mind as it will inevitably lead to an end of the relationship. Just a guess though.

shanzeek wrote:

Philonoe wrote:Many people here : blazingcouch, the girlfriend, shanzeek

Getting crowded.

If I'm gonna be perfectly honest, I think the issue here is that one person wants an open relationship, and the other doesn't but is too afraid to speak one's mind as it will inevitably lead to an end of the relationship. Just a guess though.

Yup, my impression too, he is rationalizing and not wanting to face that he doesn't like the situation and the relationship is toast whatever the efforts, deep feelings like this hardly change !

Hello,

I think the most important thing is to be aware of "what do I want and need to be happy". Because if you can not be yourself in open relationship, you probably will end to feel very sad and even used. I am sorry to say that but you really have to listen to your heart.

Dahlia

question for everybody here (sorry for hijacking the thread, but the OP seems to have moved on) - do you think it's possible to genuinely love someone and feel the need for an open relationship? I really can't help thinking love is a monogamous thing between two people, not 3, or 8.

shanzeek wrote:do you think it's possible to genuinely love someone and feel the need for an open relationship?

I think people are very different. It is possible to someone not everyone. Actually I do know four people who are all together. I mean they are in polygamous relationship. They do love each other. But probably many people can not do that.

Dahlia

Dahliaa wrote:

shanzeek wrote:do you think it's possible to genuinely love someone and feel the need for an open relationship?

I think people are very different. It is possible to someone not everyone. Actually I do know four people who are all together. I mean they are in polygamous relationship. They do love each other. But probably many people can not do that.

Dahlia

i guess it requires a love that is not possessive or selfish, which is something I'd have hard time achieving, maybe if I wasn't that much in love I could. It does sound interesting though.

shanzeek wrote:

Dahliaa wrote:

shanzeek wrote:do you think it's possible to genuinely love someone and feel the need for an open relationship?

I think people are very different. It is possible to someone not everyone. Actually I do know four people who are all together. I mean they are in polygamous relationship. They do love each other. But probably many people can not do that.

Dahlia

i guess it requires a love that is not possessive or selfish, which is something I'd have hard time achieving, maybe if I wasn't that much in love I could. It does sound interesting though.

I do not know if I could. Probably not. It might be very stressful situation because of all those emotions.

Dahliaa wrote:do you think it's possible to genuinely love someone and feel the need for an open relationship?

I think people are very different. It is possible to someone not everyone. Actually I do know four people who are all together. I mean they are in polygamous relationship. They do love each other. But probably many people can not do that.

Dahlia[/quote]

Would be absolutely impossible for me, it's not a possessiveness problem but imagining someone I love, having a physical encounter with another guy churns my insides and gives me anxiety.

I'm not closed minded on the subject, but wonder if people are really that happy in such open dynamics, that they just aren't looking to fill a hole in their persons or egoes.
If you think about it the differences between a friendship and a relationship, to me are, 1° commitment to a person and 2° sex, so if either is not there or devalued I just don't see how different it would be from a friendship, that's a bit strange.