Idealization as a symptom

I never saw all these answers before. I bet i lose a lot of answers this way and just stay wondering..
About the difference with ptsd and bpd. It does seem more empathetic the first or self aware. But that is the problem when you read online and you don't have experience with actual persons to see the difference. They all look similar in descriptions online .without actual knowledge and experience enough.

start going down the PD rabbit hole again my psychologist may throw something at me.

lol

I can't quote but Yes borderlines seem narcissistic too me too. I don't have much experience though.But in a different way. More turbulent narcissist.
If they are very unstable and obvious it does feel creepy(sorry)i bet a narcissist will love that obvious admiration and superficiality. I fell for different reasons but the superficiality was upsetting.My.mother confuses me though is different kind than that

-- Thu Oct 26, 2017 11:55 am --

@shazneek what about counter dependency? But without the arrogance

Most people who experience the more extreme end of trauma come away with a "never again" mentality I think. How that expresses itself depends on the personality of the individual I guess, some become abusers themselves others take on a survivalist mentality

That never again is my problem. That attack prevention of never allowing others to hurt you,you never allow them to love you either this way accidentally. And is compulsive.not conscious enough to stop. You can't possibly believe that people are not there to hurt you. And you say so what let them hurt you. But you just can't take it anymore

Quoth wrote:

shanzeek wrote:

Quoth wrote:
I don't know of any clinical measure by which pwBPD have affective empathy, the empathy quotient has them as a form of "zero negative" empathy alongside narcissism and psychopathy. There is eveidence to suggest BPD is actually less empathic than NPD and it is maternal BPD linked to the worst psychosocial outcomes for a child. Not to be unpleasant but they are all parasitic personalities.

Do you by any chance have a link to share to support this claim? I'm interested to read more about it.

Zero negative empathy comes from Simon baron-cohen's book Zero Degrees of Empathy: A New Theory of Human Cruelty and Kindness.

I began here with poor psychosocial outcomes, this paper list about 5 other key ones on the subject and I sort of branched out from there.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl ... po=6.00000

Studies of BPD being less empathetic than NPD was something I picked up from akuma, and given it's not in my history you'll probably need to give her a poke for those.

There are also papers looking at the problem from a neurophysiological point of view
E.g. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21586330

Thank you.
What makes you think Akuma is a she (or did I live in lie all this time)?

Maybe we should call everyone a she instead of he, that we use for both genders. lol

Although i relate more with the attachment theory.
Theoretically the way i read it.if you are counter dependant (that doesn't mean you have necessarily a pd,same with insecure attachments)
If you are then you feel superficially independent, and a codependent would get you addicted.because deep down you have same trauma origin lol. A non wouldn't have the same effect. It's similar why narcissists match with dependants.
Or something like this.

julllia wrote:Although i relate more with the attachment theory.
Theoretically the way i read it.if you are counter dependant (that doesn't mean you have necessarily a pd,same with insecure attachments)
If you are then you feel superficially independent, and a codependent would get you addicted.because deep down you have same trauma origin lol. A non wouldn't have the same effect. It's similar why narcissists match with dependants.
Or something like this.

Counter-dependency is mostly about failure to trust others and form bonds with them?
As a baby, I was separated from my parents and raised for few years by the same person my (NPD) father was, and then later re-united with my parents again (complicated story). Anyways, I am never certain which of those three people should I take into consideration when reading about "primary caregiver"
The more I read the less I know (and I genuinely don't know much, at least not in terms of psychology) I feel like everything I knew about myself is just..inaccurate.
Digging like this through childhood and past trauma without a psychotherapist's supervision, completely messes with my mind and makes me dysfunctional, I think I'll just stop before I seriously damage something..

^i do feel that it can make you more depressed and is more dangerous if you do it on your own.i agree. I am afraid too lol. I am too bored to stop but i don't think it helps so much practically to get better on my own. Is more about having another perspective of cool revelations.
Is like trying to get to where is more painful to you.and obviously i can't pass a point on my own.

Because i had 3 too caregivers. i feel more screwed up.
Or like i am half my mother and half my father.and if i was just one it would be easier lol

The first i had was about true self. suddenly you discover emotions you had forgotten.
I really have to try therapy but i just can't.

julllia wrote:
The first i had was about true self. suddenly you discover emotions you had forgotten.
I really have to try therapy but i just can't.

I used certain substances in the past to gain better introspection of myself but I most definitely lacked knowledge in doing so..
What is stopping you from going to therapy?
I would like to avoid my own family finding out about it (from various reasons) but it seems to be very complicated as my mother's profession is in relation to it all and I fear she would eventually find out. In the past she'd accompany me and stay present during the session so I wouldn't dare speak about anything of importance.

How on earth to you gain introspection with substances.
Don't you lose it? Or you mean antidepressants?
Leaving the toxic environment of my family was the happiest thing.as long as i stayed there i could never find my sanity.i felt tortured. My aunt was even worse.And the scariest part is that they had to die for me to escape.i never found the strength to get out on my own.
My mother cares now only because the others is not her first priority.
My family was more invalidating. Like an example i would say i want to die or i want to go to therapy and they would say "everyone feels like this is normal ,get over it" etc
But now i can do whatever .money i don't have.
Isn't what your mother wants to do so unprofessional. Like she violates your rights.you can't say no to her? You are afraid to say no? Do they have control of the money?
This was always biggest sabotage.

I don't know i literally think i am avoidant and i can't deal with it. Except the money that i don't have to spare. And i don't trust people in general.
A lot if times i want to avoid things without knowing why.
It doesn't make sense because i want so much to do them but i don't want to do it.

julllia wrote:How on earth to you gain introspection with substances.
Don't you lose it? Or you mean antidepressants?

Nope not antidepr, some of them were illegal..Reckless much, Ikno'.

But now i can do whatever

I'm glad. (:

Isn't what your mother wants to do so unprofessional. Like she violates your rights.you can't say no to her? You are afraid to say no? Do they have control of the money?
This was always biggest sabotage.

No, no, she's not the bad guy, she's probably a bit over-protective and she took me to see psychiatrists she personally knows so that was the reason she would stick around during the session. It wasn't fear but strong shame that stopped me from opening up (no idea why), I tried but the psychiatrist would usually focus on the wrong thing and I'd lose that little bit of trust I forced myself to feel for them and give up.

I don't know i literally think i am avoidant and i can't deal with it. Except the money that i don't have to spare. And i don't trust people in general.
A lot if times i want to avoid things without knowing why.

Yeah I get this..