Narcissistic relationship

Hi everyone. New here, and I apologize ahead of time -- I am wondering if there is a specific forum for those who are trying to get over having been in a narcissistic relationship. My God, five years of my life gone ... and I hadn't realized just how toxic this relationship has been until recently. I don't know how or when, but something has opened my eyes and now I am trying to get out of it. I just can't take it anymore. Any direction would be great. I need to talk to others who've experienced this kind of hell.
Thanks!
Chelle

Hello ChelleMarie,

Both of our relationship forums (this one and Significant Others, Family and Friends; link: family-support/) are for relationship issues of any kind. We have multiple stories in both forums from people who were involved with someone who has a Personality Disorder. So, feel free to choose the one you are most comfortable with.

In your post, you say you want to exit the relationship. So, obviously you are still involved. What is keeping you there?

What is keeping me in the relationship... it's funny, because I've asked myself that so many times, usually where we're in the midst of a huge battle. Truth is, I love him more than I have ever loved anyone because when things are great, he really can be a very doting, loving person. He wakes up with me every morning, makes me breakfast and coffee; takes care of the animals, does laundry and keeps up with the house. When we're loving one another it's truly magical and we laugh and have a great time.
But then I'll find something that ends up throwing everything off. Text messages from other girls, e-mails (he's not always careful about hiding these things). And they're not just friendly texts -- they're so much more. He'll say he's done nothing wrong, and I'm crazy and need mental help. Then he'll go on to tell me how everyone hates me, and how I make every day terrible. He gets so defensive, so much so that he says the most horrible, mean and terrible things to me. And when I'm right there, with the courage to break things off, he comes back with the "I'm sorry" and tells me that he was angry and then goes into how wonderful I am, and how he couldn't live life without me.

It's all very confusing and you'd think that by now I would have learned something about relationships. I am 48 years old with two daughters (18 and 20); work full time, etc. How did I end up in a relationship like this?