Opening a door...

...after closing the other.

I broke up with/ threw out, my now ex, whom I believe absolutely to be a covert narcissist a little over two months ago. I had been leaning towards an end since day one of meeting which resulted in a 2.5 years​ later and have regretfully paid the price.

I was unaware of what NPD was at the time of our break-up although had a plethora of endless examples just not specific reference yet. Now that I am aware I am strictly no contact and that was about two weeks ago and have since been dealing with shellshock, depression and basically a crushed heart at the final confirmation that unfortunately, yes, I was right all along.

I can't count how many times I had either pondered or spoken aloud to a friend, "He's either really dumb or completely evil." I used terms such as, "demon possessed, shape-shifter, moraless, pathological liar, misogynistic, game player, bullying, cheater, shameless and ostracization to describe my experience with him to the best of my ability grasping at straws to piece together this puzzle of a man I had grown to love with unhealthy codependency and self-deceptive​ ignorance primarily extended via endorphin/sex addiction since he matched my primary attechment object abuse, neglect and sexual trauma profile like no other resulting in the most fulfilling pseudo-deviant sexual experience in my adulthood​; being used as an object and doing it with perfection adhering to the only existing boundary created the day we met, "No means yes."

Over the short course of this 'relationship' I was dumfounded at the inexhaustible deception and betrayl shamelessly dolled out like candy as if every day was Halloween. I am near positive he played a role in the suicide of a woman whom he was involved with right before he and I met. It happened within days of us meeting although I heard about it initially from a friend of mine and not him. He m would have mentioned it otherwise I believe. I had a suspicion throughout our whole relationship that hem was striving to drive me to suicide; he seemed to secretly yet with passive antagonist aggression relish in my suffering and injuries both physically and emotionally, exploiting them, triggering them all while completing neglecting them and maintaining to his audience a guisse of concern and the desire to help me and take care of me.

He attempts contact multiple times daily. Uiu have yet to respond since the decision to go no contact.

So! Yeah, hi.