Why did she say she was "too busy"?

robrobin205 wrote:Hi, I think she's not that busy, she is just making excuses. But maybe you are not her priority in life.

How long she's been doing this to you?

I didn't see her again until a couple of days ago. I think I saw her two times before I asked her the coffee question.

Well, her loss. Onto the next woman then.

My son is autistic, so I am very very aware of how difficult it can be with ASD to read social signals.

I apologize if I came across abrupt or condescending, I have read your previous posts and am aware of your difficulties. That was why I was trying to lay it down in simple terms.
I apologise also for misunderstanding your own observations about the girl in question.

I did mean what I said though, about you having the courage to put yourself out there.
All the best.

Markness, hats off to you for asking the girl if she wanted a coffee, that is excellent, I admire you a lot for that. And I think it is perfectly reasonable at that time to ask her for a coffee as she was chatty to you first, I think most people would think "hmmm, I wonder if she is interested in getting to know me".

But her saying she is too busy is basically a rejection. I mean imagine if some girl you got chatty to who seemed nice asked if you would like to meet for a coffee, it wouldn't matter if you don't like coffee or if you were pretty busy, you'd find time for it. But don't take it to heart that she wasn't interested.

Nyyx wrote:My son is autistic, so I am very very aware of how difficult it can be with ASD to read social signals.

I apologize if I came across abrupt or condescending, I have read your previous posts and am aware of your difficulties. That was why I was trying to lay it down in simple terms.
I apologise also for misunderstanding your own observations about the girl in question.

I did mean what I said though, about you having the courage to put yourself out there.
All the best.

It's like being forced to play a tune when you don't even know the notes or know how to play an instrument.

You have my forgiveness, Nyx, and I thank you for the best wishes. I just wish I knew what to focus on.

Rainman19 wrote:Markness, hats off to you for asking the girl if she wanted a coffee, that is excellent, I admire you a lot for that. And I think it is perfectly reasonable at that time to ask her for a coffee as she was chatty to you first, I think most people would think "hmmm, I wonder if she is interested in getting to know me".

But her saying she is too busy is basically a rejection. I mean imagine if some girl you got chatty to who seemed nice asked if you would like to meet for a coffee, it wouldn't matter if you don't like coffee or if you were pretty busy, you'd find time for it. But don't take it to heart that she wasn't interested.

Thanks, Rainman19. I just wish I didn't suffer from the social handicaps and I am always wondering if things will get better or if they will stay the same.

Markness, I think you did great there and you did everything right. I am in my late 30s now, in my 20s I was practically single for the whole 10 years. I was so lacking in confidence in my early 20s especially that even when I got really friendly and chatty with girls my age I still never dared ask them out in fear of rejection. I then started in my late 20s to grasp every opportunity and I asked 2 women out at work and they both gave me the brush off. I then got friendly with one woman at work and we met up for a drink after work and then for a day out on the weekend but she told me "I am sorry but I am not interested in anything romance wise, but we can be friends". I thought what was the point. I then asked another girl out at work who I always smiled and said hello to. She messaged me and said she'd like to meet up. We met up many times but nothing romance wise came of it. But the thing is at last I was trying. And then finally I got really friendly with someone at work and we met up out of work and have now been together for 2 years. I pretty much had given up hope of meeting someone I liked but it can and will happen if you keep trying. I have found it so much easier in my 30s, I found in my teenage years and 20s people were so shallow.

Keep grasping every opportunity and something will happen!

Thanks, Rainman. I just don't know if I can hold on any longer. I think I should just commit suicide.

No. If you are depressed please see someone.

It will get better.