Was she a Narcissist/Borderline?

- She wanted a relationship within 2 months of getting to know me / when I told her that we should take things slowly and get to know one another, she lost it and began crying

- She had sex with me very quickly

- If I didn't do as she wanted, she would ignore me. When I mirrored and ignored her back, she would get in touch with one of my family members just to get in touch with me. Weird because she had no problem contacting me directly when there was no issue

- She broke up with me and when I accepted and said that I understand, she became upset

- She contacted me a week later by calling me at a time when she figured that I wouldn't answer, but would of course see that she called. I asked her to hang out, she said she would let me know her schedule, didn't hear back from her

- I tried to contact her a couple of days later only to be sent directly to voicemail (she would later deny this, saying she's not capable of such an act)

- I receive a text on HER birthday from her mother checking in on me. Her mother and I were not close at all

- Four months pass, I receive a call from her mother basically probing if I still had feelings for her

- She speaks to one of my family members probing about how I've been

- She calls me and hangs up when I answer

- Later that evening, she texts me saying that I called her as if she didn't call me first

- The conversation was completely crazy. She blamed me for the failure of the relationship but taking absolutely no accountability for any of her own wrongdoings. She was rewriting past events (saying that I said things that I know I didn't say), being very critical of me, seemed bitter/angry/frustrated with me even after so much time had passed.

Hi FHK

I am one of the other moderators from BPD and NPD forum here at the site
(i moved you post here as it is "relationship" based)

Anyway
As you know, we cant diagnose here, we speak from our own personal experiences
so that being said ...

Age, inexperience, childhood etc.. can also be a factor in this. its not as easy with so little info

do i think her behavior is slightly off? yes
but this could be for a number of reasons it doesn't have to come down to a PD

Your said SHE had sex with you very quickly wasnt you involved in this matter was this all HER?
You could have said no

Some people do get romantically involved quicker than others that could have its reasons to
ofc 2 months relationship cant have had a lot of time to get to know her, i see that

Her behavior involving your family, i agree is somewhat controlling
Her game play with the phoning and texting ive seen in myself and others but this isnt proof of a PD either imo

its a shame you wasnt with her longer, but judging from what you have said if this behavior was seen in the very early months in your meeting/hanging out/relationship then ofc yes i see read flags here

Question
Are you wanting to learn about "her behavior" coz you want to understand her and then get back with her ?

Or is it for your own knowledge so it doesn't happen again with another girl?

Actually, this is my second run in with an individual with these attributes which is why I was able to pinpoint things quicker this time. I am by no means qualified to clinically diagnose someone, but the similarities in the behavior of these two women is striking. Once you meet one, which usually leads you to researching the problem, when you see it again, you're able to protect yourself because of the knowledge.

I think for my own sanity that I better stay away. It hurts because I liked the illusion from the idealized phase, but have to understand that that was her false self and detach, which I have done.

I went through the typical hoovering scenario of a narc. She had her mother call me probing, she contacted a mutual friend probing, then finally came the hoover call asking did I call. It fit the narc process textbook. I hear alot of folks talk of the narc trying to rekindle with the hoover, but mine was the opposite. Mine was more of a malign hoover, because I have not been complying or reacting as expected, I assume. She was seeking to punish.

I thought that I may use this site to confirm if she was indeed a narcissist.

I thought that I may use this site to confirm if she was indeed a narcissist.

Ofc you can make use of the site, members can only give their honest opinion (no diagnose)
You may receive comments of what people "think" but there is no guarantees/conformations here
thats what i meant.

I hope you get some insight ofc