I know that my boyfriend was in a long-term (2 year) relationship with a girl who he was madly in love with and broke up with him, which left him heartbroken for a long time. He went travelling with her and their photos are all over Facebook. It preoccupies my mind every day and has lead me to some compulsive behaviours. I constantly check her Instagram page (it is unusual for me not to do it every day) and scrutinise her pictures. I check her friends' Instagrams to see if any photos of her have been uploaded, or if there are any clues as to what she has been doing.
Recently my boyfriend left his Facebook logged on on my computer. Yep, you guessed it - scrolled through every single one of her old photos and photo albums, posts, check-ins, etc. Was this enough? Of course not! I went and found a string of conversations he had with her in messenger. There are no new conversations since 2014. Only ones from when they were together. Still killed me.
I have checked emails and read over old conversations with his close friends from when they broke up, and him saying how distraught he was. How he keeps seeing her everywhere and wants to get her back.
I've raised the topic with him but of course haven't mentioned my stalking, just that I had seen the photos, and I knew about her. I said it upsets me. His response was that I shouldn't judge his past on the photos published on Facebook as they are snapshots with no contexts or contents. But I cannot get it out of my head. It's destroying my self-esteem which is already at rock-bottom. I feel terrible in so many ways. I just cannot get rid of my jealousy.
Does this ring familiar to anyone? Any suggestions of how to overcome this, or what I can do to strengthen the more logical part of my mind, would be enormously appreciated.
I would add that their relationship ended at the end of 2013 - 3 years ago now. He was with another girl for a year and a half before we got together, whom he left to be with me. He is really good to me and always tells me how he feels. I'm just so sad about this and I want to stop letting it be an issue











