What is this??? *may trigger*

Im-pure wrote:Im just a person on the forum, hurtingbadly

My ideas are based on your story and what i drew from it, just like everyone else

About the Skype thing yes some people keep others in their contact list after blocking them, for various reasons (everyone has their own so i couldnt tell)

Yes, everyone has their reasons to keep someone who is blocked on their contact list but clearly, which reasons are really there to do that? To me, either he doesn't bother to clean up the list or else keeps me there in case. If I am really annoyed at someone to the point that I block them, automatically I would delete them too. Really, what reason there to keep someone blocked on your list?

sounds like he's kept you on the list to make a point.. he's giving you the silent treatment as a form of punishment and he wants you to know it.. to suffer confusion and anxiety for it..
to me, it also sounds like he's keeping you linked to him by doing this - if he deletes you, that would be the same as saying goodbye forever..

seabreezeblue wrote:sounds like he's kept you on the list to make a point.. he's giving you the silent treatment as a form of punishment and he wants you to know it.. to suffer confusion and anxiety for it..
to me, it also sounds like he's keeping you linked to him by doing this - if he deletes you, that would be the same as saying goodbye forever..

Seabreezeblue - Thing is, I don't think he is thinking that I know he has me on his contact list. He doesn't even know if I know the difference between being blocked and deleted (in fact, I think many people don't know when they have been just deleted or blocked on Skype - 2 different things). He knows that I know I am blocked but I don't think he is intentionally thinking "oh yes, I will leave her there as a contact even is she is blocked so that she sees that and she suffers more". I have more the feeling he keeps me in his contact list for some kind of reason for himself such as maybe being able to contact me later on but I do not think it is so that I see it and suffer with anxiety.

I am not sure what you mean when you say that it sounds like "he is keeping me linked to him"????
Can you explain please?

Yes, like you, that is what I thought: if he deletes me, that would be the same as saying goodbye forever. So my question is: why doesn't he want to say good bye forever if in fact he has me blocked, it is already over 3 weeks and he doesn't talk to me? In fact, I asked him many times via email if we can talk at least once more to clarify things and he hasn't bothered replying to anything.

seabreezeblue wrote:sounds like he's kept you on the list to make a point.. he's giving you the silent treatment as a form of punishment and he wants you to know it.. to suffer confusion and anxiety for it..
to me, it also sounds like he's keeping you linked to him by doing this - if he deletes you, that would be the same as saying goodbye forever..

Maybe he's a collector, and simply keeps you in the list like a notch on a bed post. Maybe like Sea said, he knows you're tech-savvy enough to know he still has you in his list and enjoys tormenting you. Or maybe, he doesn't care about the list either and doesn't bother with the housekeeping. If you delete someone, does that keep them blocked? If not, maybe that's his way of ensuring you remain blocked.

Whether it's intentional or unintentional, you're blocked regardless. So either way, ###$ him. Believe me when I tell you this: I KNOW how much it hurts when someone you care about shuts you out like this. My ex has had me blocked on facebook for 3 years now. I only know because I like to look at the memories sometimes, and her name isn't clickable where she commented. So be it. ###$ her too. As xdude pointed out, you will eventually reach the milestone where you stop checking to see whether or not you're blocked. And when you happen to stumble on information indicating that you're still blocked, you'll laugh to yourself and think "Thank God"

ridingthewtfbus wrote:

seabreezeblue wrote:sounds like he's kept you on the list to make a point.. he's giving you the silent treatment as a form of punishment and he wants you to know it.. to suffer confusion and anxiety for it..
to me, it also sounds like he's keeping you linked to him by doing this - if he deletes you, that would be the same as saying goodbye forever..

Maybe he's a collector, and simply keeps you in the list like a notch on a bed post. Maybe like Sea said, he knows you're tech-savvy enough to know he still has you in his list and enjoys tormenting you. Or maybe, he doesn't care about the list either and doesn't bother with the housekeeping. If you delete someone, does that keep them blocked? If not, maybe that's his way of ensuring you remain blocked. It's either intentional or unintentional, but either way. ###$ him.

Regardless, you're blocked. And believe me when I tell you this: I KNOW how much it hurts when someone you care about shuts you out like this. As xdude pointed out, you will eventually reach the milestone where you stop checking to see whether or not you're blocked. And when you happen to stumble on information indicating that you're still blocked, you'll laugh to yourself and think "Thank God"

He could just have done any of the following:

1. Delete me only form his contact list without blocking - in that case I would still be able to contact him (of course, this is not what he wanted).
2. Only block me, which is what he did. This is so that I cannot communicate with him but I am still on his contact list. In the past, this is what he always did, i.e. only block me. And in the past he unblocked me later on.
3. Block and delete all together (both at the same time) - by this he would ensure that I don't contact him plus he loses me from his contact list (if he wanted to add me in the future again or find me it would be more difficult to find me I guess).

If I am annoyed at someone so much that I block them I would also delete them so I would do number 3.

On whatsapp, he told me the previous time that he had to delete me from his contact list first in order for him to block me. So basically, what he was saying is that he just wanted to block me and not delete. But for whatever reason, in that particular occasion and only on whatsapp he had to delete me from his contact list too, however that doesn't seem to be what he wants to do when he gets rid of me. For whatever reason he just blocks me consciously knowing that I am on his contact list.

By the way, I don't think he is conscious or aware that I know he has me on his contact list. He knows that I know I am blocked but that is all. I don't think he knows that I know he has me on the list.

hurtingbadly wrote:he told me...... he just wanted to block me...... gets rid of me......

Eventually you won't care. Again, try to refocus this energy elsewhere. I know it's tough to do because it's fairly fresh in your mind. I ruminated about my ex for a long time, and even begged God on several occasions to just get her out of my heart. Try to take care of yourself as best you can and try not to allow bitterness to fester inside. Bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person feels the pain. It really only hurts you. Better days ahead.

Oh man this is really sad.

I can kind of relate in parts, so it's kind of painful to watch/hear.

It's clear to see the guy is a jerk and most probably has mental/personality issues. But what is sad is wanting to understand what he was doing and if he really cared about you. It sounds like you can't handle the fact that he may not have even given a %##@ about you and you can't stand to know that. Forget the fact that he was an absolute creep. You gotta ask yourself why you are so wrapped up in a guy who treated you so badly, who you only met a few times (and only saw you on his terms) and you seemed more concerned about the fact that "did I mean something to him?".

I get it though, because I got treated similar (not as bad) but when it was over all I wanted to know in my mind was "did he even give a %#%^ about me at all?" and I couldn't handle the truth, to know that it was all just a little game and he was bored and I was around . But the truth is he probably didn't give a crap, or I was on a very low priority on his list of "cares". Luckily I am not naturally one to run and persist (although I did a little bit, which I thought was rather sad of me and was unusual), but eventually I blocked and said "that's it". Unfortunately, I still have ruminating thoughts about the whole thing, but I know this is something I have to work on and this is my issues and the relationship just brought things out about myself that I was not aware of.

So really you can't do anything about him, but all you can do is work on yourself. And if you are anything like me, it's about low self-esteem and insecurities. You will repeat the pattern again and again, if you don't work on yourself! If you had self confidence and were secure in yourself, you would not let a guy like this string you along. You would of in fact blocked him the moment you noticed strange behavior. Good luck!