What is this??? *may trigger*

He didnt talk to you all the time, he talked to you when it was convenient for him.

Im-pure wrote:He didnt talk to you all the time, he talked to you when it was convenient for him.

Well, somehow yes, probably he talked to me when it was convenient for him but we did talk often and we met 3 times (we live in different countries). He always controlled everything so he set up when, how or where. It was all about his power and control so of course, when it was convenient for him.

-- Wed Sep 16, 2015 4:30 pm --

Im-pure wrote:He didnt talk to you all the time, he talked to you when it was convenient for him.

Just a question: are you saying he is just a guy who wasn't interested in me? or that he is an abuser? because under my opinion, having a gf and other girls around he didn't really need me so why would he talk to me for 6 months (despite the fact that it was when it was convenient for him) if he wasn't interested in me at all? After he visited me the first time he could have just finished it. He didn't need to prolong it.

I dont know. Maybe because you were there, easy to string along (i know it sounds bad), reacted in a way that made it easy for him to play with you, and gave him attention. For some people the attention is never enough so they can juggle many things like this at the same time. He sounds emotionally abusive yes.

Im-pure wrote:I dont know. Maybe because you were there, easy to string along (i know it sounds bad), reacted in a way that made it easy for him to play with you, and gave him attention. For some people the attention is never enough so they can juggle many things like this at the same time. He sounds emotionally abusive yes.

I think I mentioned it here before, but although he has blocked me on Skype (and whatsapp too) he didn't delete me from his contact list on Skype. I know because his profile would show with an interrogation mark as if he hadn't shared details with me if he had deleted me. I keep wondering why would he keep me in his contact list (although blocked) if he is done with me. Does this make sense at all?

Maybe he didnt delete you (if indeed he didnt) so he could come back later when/if he feels like talking to you again, out of boredom or who knows what else. This doesnt mean he cares. It just means he sees you as a decent enough entertainment source, when and how he feels like it. Or i might be totally wrong, either way you should try and move on because as everyone else said, this is not working out.

Im-pure wrote:Maybe he didnt delete you (if indeed he didnt) so he could come back later when/if he feels like talking to you again, out of boredom or who knows what else. This doesnt mean he cares. It just means he sees you as a decent enough entertainment source, when and how he feels like it. Or i might be totally wrong, either way you should try and move on because as everyone else said, this is not working out.

I know he doesn't care, he never has, obviously and even if he came back I know it wouldn't be because he cares.
I just find it strange that someone who blocks you keeps you in his contact list. I think any other person including me, if I am done with someone to the point of blocking them then, I would get rid of them on my list too. If someone blocks you on Skype then on my contact list he would show as not having shared his details with me and that is not the case so I am 99% sure he has me in his contact list still. I tested it with someone else and when they deleted me their profile showed as not sharing details with me and with a question mark on their profile.

hurtingbadly wrote:What is this???

It's called being treated like poop by someone who is mentally abnormal. I agree with Im-pure, it's time to attempt to accept that his mind works differently from yours, and you will never fully understand it. Save your energy and refocus it elsewhere.

Im-pure wrote:He didnt talk to you all the time, he talked to you when it was convenient for him.

I am just wondering: how do you know he didn't talk to me all the time??? how can you say that? how do you know he talked to me when it was convenient for him? Almost sounds as if you know him
Do you know my story that well and so much in detail as to state such a thing?

Im just a person on the forum, hurtingbadly

My ideas are based on your story and what i drew from it, just like everyone else

About the Skype thing yes some people keep others in their contact list after blocking them, for various reasons (everyone has their own so i couldnt tell)

Im-pure wrote:My ideas are based on your story and what i drew from it, just like everyone else

Yes, and I had a similar sense to Im-pure's estimate of how he behaves based on what you wrote hurtingbadly.

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Perhaps this is the first time you've had a relationship with the type of person you have written about? The first time encounter with someone who is utterly self-involved, abusive, who is entitlement minded to be abusive, well, it leaves your head reeling with questions, why! If so I do understand why you want to know what happened, but as others have written too, the thing is you probably aren't going to be able to understand him or his reasons beyond a certain point. What you do know with absolutely certainty is how badly he has treated you.

I do hope you can reach a point where the want to have those questions answered dies down, and you choose to want to feel good about yourself again. Abusive people tear others down, and unfortunately it works sometimes to keep them coming back for more. How much is too much varies from person to person, but at some point the why's don't matter anymore. It's enough to know that this person makes you feel terrible, and what kind of relationship is that?