Father and boob job

I probably have it,not diagnosed though.
I have million little obsessions,but I think this is different because it's 100% objective.Most men prefer big boobs and I don't have them.It's not something I made up,it's just the truth.I know 'nice guys' wouldn't reject me for it,but who says I want them and even if I did who says they still wouldn't be happier if my boobs were bigger?I don't want a guy who will just accept my boobs as they are,I want one who'll love them.Also,I think it's way harder to make men notice you on street or in the club if you have smaller boobs. I guess push up bras take care of that,but I'm screwed if a situation develops in a way that would require me to take it off.
Like,few weeks ago some guy I met really liked my boobs in a bra and he wanted to go under it,but I didn't let him because he wouldn't like my real boobs.

You sound very insecure in yourself. I think you'll find the breast implants fix nothing. Just a guess, obviously, but I've seen other girls walk that road. I think a female opinion rather than mine might help as well here. You might get more male attention on some level, but it's not actually going to translate into healthy attention. What is your end-goal with a potential guy? What do you want out of a relationship?

I've always been an all or nothing kind of person,even as a child,I never liked anything inbetween or neutral.I guess I either want one real relationship, people would say what I want is impossible to get,but I don't think it is.I stopped counting on finding that perfect person though,so I guess I don't really want a relationship now,I don't even want sex.I don't know how to explain it,it's weird.

Well, I can't tell from your statement what you want at all. Is that because you don't know what you want, or is that because you can't put it into words, or because you don't want to put it into words, or what?

No idea.

I used to want to have few very specific things in life and I wanted them all to be perfect,but it isn't really working so now I want many things that aren't necessarily perfect.When it comes to relationships,I want to have fun.I want to do something crazy,like date someone 30 years older than me or something.I don't know,I just want something.

Is it that you want attention? In some form?

I guess so,but doesn't everyone want attention in some form?Isn't that life?I mean,you're nothing without others.

I'm not prescribing that wanting attention is good or bad, but it is extrinsic. It is something you are wanting from an outside source to validate something about yourself inside. It's like treating the symptom and not the disease. If I had a deadly flesh-eating disease, they could give me a lot of morphine so I'd be able to deal with the pain, but it doesn't fix the problem.

Attention, men, money, they are all acting as external validation in similar ways. They all treat the symptoms. They won't ever fix the underlying problem. The underlying problem probably has something to do with your own self-image. Not how you look in the mirror, but how you choose to perceive yourself.

The real solution, if my observations on this limited amount of information are right, is that you are going to have to learn to like yourself and have compassion for yourself independent of these external sources of validation. You have to realize that you are a worthwhile person and deserve to be liked and respected just for being yourself. I know that's easy to say and hard to do, but it's the real core issue. I'd also take a bet that if you can at least learn to appreciate yourself a little bit more, the external validation will be easier to both find and accept.

Does that sound accurate at all?

Yeah,but most people love themselves and all that.Everyone is a worthwhile person,just as special as everyone else I call it.Only some people have things I desire and can have imo.I can't look at them as insignificant then.You are right in some idealistic way,but things don't work like that.

I would say most people are actually very much struggling in some fashion similar to you. I think it's less idealistic than you think. I think it's level 0 to even starting to approach a healthy life. I'm not saying you have to achieve enlightenment, simply that you have to like yourself at least as much as you expect someone else to like you.