Have you had a friend with benefits?

noreally_imfine wrote:If you dont like it, that is fine. That is your opinion but to say that its for sluts is pretty harsh. The guy and I agreed to be monogamous with one another but only see each other for hooking up. We do not connect that well emotionally and mentally but we are great together physically. I am fully tested for any diseases and he is getting tested too.

I'm pretty sure I went about it the smartest way possible. Also, we both just got out of a long term relationship. He isn't looking for anyone right now anyways so even if I did want a relationship, he doesn't.

Sometimes, not having the whole hassle of being in a relationship is really nice. You dont get too attached or obsessed. It can be a very liberating experience if its just for sexual reasons.

Again, neither one of us are seeing anyone else. Doesn't sound slutty to me. Not like you need a full explanation.

I honestly don't see a point other than to sound slutty when you talk about it.I mean,if you are regularly having sex with no one but each other,you're in a relationship by my standards.Not calling it a relationship just makes everything so weird and unclear.What would happen if he decided he suddenly wants a relationship but not with you?Would you have any right to get angry?The answer is 'no',because you were never in a relationship,it was only sex.

If we are having sex with just each other, I don't see how that is slutty. If i were hooking up with guy after guy, that sounds slutty. Maybe we have different definitions of what is considered slutty.

noreally_imfine wrote:If we are having sex with just each other, I don't see how that is slutty. If i were hooking up with guy after guy, that sounds slutty. Maybe we have different definitions of what is considered slutty.

Defintion of slut/slutty is not the issue. We have differences in the valuation of our HUMANITY and the brain of the human being which distinguishes us from other members of the "Zoo/Zoology Kingdom". Even some of those Zoology animals have got their own principles and values. They have sex for reproduction

The point is, that being in a meaningless relationship with a meaningless person having meaningless sex is meaningless. It's not loving, it's not intimate, it's not meaningful, it's nothing. And some people, people like me, look down on it. Do whatever you want, I would never tell you to do- or not do- anything, just don't expect me to feel ok about it, or expect me to not practice my freedom of speech to express exactly what I think of it, especially when that is more or less what is asked of me. When women remind me of my cum dumpster mother who didn't love anybody but herself, that is exactly who I will relate those women to, end of story. And the guys, well, I don't have a scumbag whoremongerer of a father, so I don't relate those guys to anyone, sure my father was a moron in certain areas of life, but at least he had moral principles. So yeah, if I got anything from my father, it's those moral principles. My relationships will mean something, and if they don't, I will make them mean something, and if the woman I'm in a relationship with is working against me on that, I will dump her and find somebody else, someone valuable.

So, to modify my previous comment, from jest to serious: No, I've not had a "friend with benefits", because there is absolutely no benefit in it. When I have sex with someone, it means something to me, and if it doesn't mean anything to the person I had sex with, I will get angry, angry at how little they valued me and how they just used me, and I will call them a horrible person because that is exactly what they are to be capable of something like that. It's absolutely revolting to me.

Very interesting article:

https://en-maktoob.news.yahoo.com/matin ... 06178.html



'Mating plug' in females stops rivals' chances
IANSBy Indo Asian News Service | IANS – 19 minutes ago..

London, June 15 (IANS) To ensure the fidelity of their mates, the male dwarf spiders deposit a substance referred as a "mating plug" inside females as the substance makes it difficult for rivals to copulate and squeeze in sperms.

The effectiveness of these plugs depends not only on their size but also on their age, a new study showed.

"If 'plugs' were more than a day old, the chances of a second male copulating with the female were much lower," said Katrin Kunz, an evolutionary biologist at University of Greifswald in Germany.

For the study, researchers observed mating sessions between virgin females and males, removing the males after different lengths of copulation.

The longer the copulation lasted, the larger was the plug size.

After introducing the females with different plug sizes to other males, the researchers analysed the females using a scanning electron microscope.

The time between the first and second mating varied, depending on the plug's age, the researchers found.

The study appeared in the journal in Behavioural Ecology and Sociobiology.
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Well, thank you everyone for your replies.

noreally_imfine wrote:Well, thank you everyone for your replies.

You're welcome.

Bovary wrote:

noreally_imfine wrote:Well, thank you everyone for your replies.

You're welcome.

Of course you'd reply with that. You are definitely becoming one of my favorites on this site.

always a pleasure.

You are definitely becoming one of my favorites on this site.

I know I am,everyone loves me,they just don't always like admitting it.

2 cents of my own to throw into the pot -

It seems many people have very strong emotions when it comes to sex, and not just the act of sex, but sexual behaviors in general. Even those who think they can have a casual sexual encounter or relationship may feel very different once they've actually done so.

Personally I live in a society where people have a degree of freedom, even if they do sometimes end up hurting themselves. Still, given a choice, I prefer to live in a society where people have the right to choose, so long as they are not harming others of course.

In terms of this specific situation, I would ask who is being harmed, or if nobody has been harmed yet, who is going to be harmed long term?