Why am I so mean to the love of my life?

Family Background: My parents were separated before my first birthday. My mother raised me the majority of my life. My father began seeing me every other weekend starting around age eight. My mother was abusive, angry, abused alcohol, abused pills, and had many men around she liked to call "friends". My father abused alcohol, many drugs, and is physically and mentally abusive to woman.

Me: 22 Years Old, Male, Student, Full-Time Internship

Why I'm Here: Last year right before Easter Sunday the woman of my dreams came into my life. Keep in mind, I have had past relationships, one of which was over two years, but the way she makes me feel is unlike anything my heart has ever felt. The first time we met in person she hosted a party for the children in her family for Easter. The moment I set eyes on her there was an immediate sensation deep in my stomach that has never happened to me before. Her flawless blond hair and beautiful brown eyes had me mesmerized. Watching the way she was with the children, told me one day this woman would be an amazing mother. After the party we spent some time together playing cards with her old cousins and I couldn't take my eyes off of her and each time she smiled my heart melted. Our second date we walked on a famous street in our city and went to get her nose pierced. Later that night was the first time she fell asleep in my arms and from that moment I knew this woman was everything I have waited for and one day we would be married. The first few months I would travel over two hours to see her, even if I had work early the next day. We ended up moving in with each other after about six months together. From this point on things began to change. I started to become jealous of other men, especially on social networks. My thinking was, why does she need men on Facebook or Instagram other than family, friends, and coworkers? Somehow I found a way to control her and she removed all the men outside of these guidelines. This wasn't good enough, if she would look in a males direction that was even somewhat attractive I would get jealous and accuse her of wanting to be with him. Over time I stopped accusing her of wanting to be with men, but still was worried she would talk to guys on Facebook or Instagram since she would have men message her or like her stuff. She never responded and as many times as I accused her she proved me wrong. If she goes out with friends my mind races a thousand miles a minute wondering what she's doing or why she's not answering me. On top of the jealousy I would get angry for no reason and pick fights. If I consumed alcohol it would become worse. The things that I said to her are really nothing that I would think of in a million years but for some reason would say them to hurt her. Also, when I consume alcohol for some reason I run away and want her to chase me. I become very irritated with her for absolutely no reason at all. I have tried so hard to break these habits but it sounds easier than it is... We have been off and on the past month. I know space from each other is probably the best outcome right now while I pursue help, but it scares me that while we are apart she will find someone that will steal her away forever. Does anyone know what is wrong with me or have experienced a similar situation and have broken these atrocious behaviors?

What I'm Doing: I have identified there are very serious issues at hand that can prevent me from ever making her happy, so I have decided to seek therapy. I went though my intake process and the psychological portion. The psychiatrist decided no prescription drugs will be needed in my case, but therapy will be a must. She said I'm very intelligent, goal oriented, ambitious, and psychologically sound other than my mistrust of women much due in part with trauma from my childhood. I feel this is going to be amazing for me and would love any insight on topics to bring up during my sessions.

Anyone else ever go through this?

Hi,

It may not be easy to find someone with similar experience here, because most people can't admit that such jealousy is wrong. It's a good thing you realize it's a destructive force. I've never been in a similar situation, but I was the object of jealousy and although I think your girlfrind is very understading, if you can't control your emotions, she will leave you.
Seeing your girlfriend chatting or meeting with other guys is probably difficult for a lot of men, so it's even worse when you don't trust women. But going to therapy should help here. Have you talked with your girlfriend about the source of your problems? Does she know you are going to therapy?