Breaking up and I hate it :(

Hello all I have been in a relationship for three years now, was hoping to get married but suddenly problems started and we were perfect couple until 3 months ago. Last fight was today and I just need to get it out of my system.

For example yesterday my gf texted me that she needs some attention since I've been busy and I responded that "I'm sorry you are right, I had to work "sent her kisses and she felt better.

Today I felt like I needed some attention and told her that. No comfort or understanding from her only words I was busy. It made me mad and I told her I don't want to see her again.

What do you think am I wrong or she is? I was hoping to get same comfort and understanding from her and it never happens. I really wanted to spend my life with her but I want her to understand me as much as I try to understand her not like this

Perhaps you can tell her how you feel? Let her know that it hurts you when she does not seem to care the same way you do.

Hi Stefant

I am with Sophiesheaven its probably a communication thing.

You and your girlfriend are displaying some characteristics of an Anxious/Avoidant adult attachment type relationship.

These are typically characterized with each side pushing the other sides emotional buttons. But worse both sides also typically don't talk about their needs (yet expect the other person to know).

You did good when you responded to your girlfriends need for more attention in the way you did as it satiated her a bit.

I would recommend you sit down and talk to her, tell her how you feel and what you want in the relationship. Also tell her that you know she has some needs (i.e. for attention) and you are willing to be responsible for taking actions that you both agree will make her feel more secure. For example she might say she misses you allot and you could talk to her and both agree that when you are at work and you are busy, that you might send a text in the morning and in the evening at pre-set times just to say hi etc... and that when you say Hi you may be able to talk and sometimes you may be busy but you will always communicate consistently etc...

The point is you two should talk and come to agreements on what you want out of the relationship and agreements on how you can make sure both people are satisfied. Things should be out in the open, its ok for both of you to have needs, some people are just a bit afraid to share their needs because they can be ashamed for having them or don't feel they deserve to be heard.

Best of luck, just talk to her, I bet things can work out with good honest communication.

Thank you Sophie and just helpful. I did that it took us a while to get over it. JustHelpful you are right I did have a huge problem with anxiety and we need to talk more. I try to talk but sometimes it seems like we talk different languages. It's all a shock to me since we didn't fight at all for 3 years and now for 3 months we fight a lot. Something changed I don't know what. I keep everything for my self and this forum is the best to discuss it with ppl I don't know. Thank you both a lot!